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I say that friendships are organic, they can't be forced. You're new, go in, do your job, be cordial, and maybe you'll be included into their circle. If not, get over it. As long as they aren't deriving any benefit from the friendship (ie one is the boss and is delegting more work to other employees and favoring the friend) then it really shouldn't matter to you. This is the workplace, not a popularity contest.
Do any of you feel weird or bad that your coworkers are friends with each other and you're just their coworker?
I've been told it's not a big deal, but it makes me feel left out some times. What say you?
Hey, don't get your spirit down about it. That's how I felt when I first started working with my company. Set something up. Make a happy hour date. Invite them over for a bbq (that's how I got in good with some of my co-workers). Start up a conversation about last night's ball game. Invite them to lunch. The list goes on...
If being friends with them is important to you, you can make it happen.
A lot of people like to keep their personal and work life separate. While you can find good friends eventually at work, be aware you are also as likely to find some jealous people. Mention to someone like that you are looking for a new job or hate 'Mr. So and So' at work and you can find yourself 'ratted on.'
Hey, don't get your spirit down about it. That's how I felt when I first started working with my company. Set something up. Make a happy hour date. Invite them over for a bbq (that's how I got in good with some of my co-workers). Start up a conversation about last night's ball game. Invite them to lunch. The list goes on...
If being friends with them is important to you, you can make it happen.
I disagree. Someone I work with has tried to be friends with me. I have no interest. We have nothing in common. They ahve invited me to their home, asked if I wanted to go to lunch. I'm just not interested. It's not personal, and nothing they say or do will change my mind.
I'm pleasant to them, but we're not friends, and we're not going to be.
I say that friendships are organic, they can't be forced. You're new, go in, do your job, be cordial, and maybe you'll be included into their circle. If not, get over it. As long as they aren't deriving any benefit from the friendship (ie one is the boss and is delegting more work to other employees and favoring the friend) then it really shouldn't matter to you. This is the workplace, not a popularity contest.
I feel the exact same way, but I still feel left out.
I guess my question SHOULD be how do I get over it?
I disagree. Someone I work with has tried to be friends with me. I have no interest. We have nothing in common. They ahve invited me to their home, asked if I wanted to go to lunch. I'm just not interested. It's not personal, and nothing they say or do will change my mind.
I'm pleasant to them, but we're not friends, and we're not going to be.
What exactly are you disagreeing with? I was offering ideas as to how they might attract some co-workers to hang out with them.
Besides, young people tend to go out more than older people who have families. If this person works with a bunch of young, single folks, they may be more receptive to these ideas than someone in your demographic.
I feel the exact same way, but I still feel left out.
I guess my question SHOULD be how do I get over it?
I'm not advising that you disregard annerk's post, but realize that she's a 40-something woman with a family. She's in a completely different demographic than you are. If the people at your company are young (let me clarify: right out of college) and single like you, they may be a lot more receptive to hanging out after work. Give it a try, and if it fails, you always have us.
What exactly are you disagreeing with? I was offering ideas as to how they might attract some co-workers to hang out with them.
Besides, young people tend to go out more than older people who have families. If this person works with a bunch of young, single folks, they may be more receptive to these ideas than someone in your demographic.
I disagree with your assertation that you can "make" it happen. I dont' disagree with trying, but you can't force it.
Young, old, single, married, kids, no kids, I don't care. Not the least bit. I purposely do not make friends at work. I'm not unfriendly but I don't invite work into my private life.
OP, find ways to be productive and liked within the broader scope of your organization. Mentor someone under you. Make sure your clients or patients know you in a way that's caring and noticeable. Usually, work friendships end badly. Very badly.
Plus, how can you function as a professional when your co-worker knows about your financial problems, health issues, or other problems you have at home? I've seen too many people burned by work friends. Had it happen to me once after thinking it could never happen to me.
I worked at an organization where I felt a group went out of their way to make me feel alienated, LMAO. I believe they thought that making me the black sheep would either make me conform or break me. That was the best gift I was ever given.... It was very mildly amusing watching them burn each other.
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