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My husband is a sports fanatic. Last night, I saw Heidi Russo on ESPN, speaking about the son she gave up for adoption when she was 19. She choose a loving couple, who for six or seven years kept in touch with her to show her her son's progress. At her request, they stopped sending pictures and contact. For Russo, it was too painful to move on with her life, being consistently reminded about the decision she made.
Colin Kaepernick, now the quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers, has NO DESIRE to meet Russo. After multiple attempts to connect with him, she turned to the media. Days before his big game - the Super Bowl - she gave an interview, declaring how "proud" and "happy" she was for him. She did meet the Kaepernick's after one of Colin's game with her now 9-year old son, but Colin did not wish to see her. His real parents, the Kaepernick's, have always supported his decision to either meet or not meet Russo. But Colin is secure with his life and his family, and his friends doubt he will ever change his mind about not wishing to see or meet his birth mother in person.
Russo tracked Colin down via Facebook and Twitter, and continues to use the media to connect with him. I find this shallow and rude. It is very disrepectful of Russo to ignore Colin's decision and to try to gain sympathy from a public who has no business knowing about Colin's business in this way.
If Colin had turned out to be a Christopher Donner or the DC Sniper, would Russo use the media to make herself known that she had given birth to him? Her timing is priceless. Furthermore, his success should be enjoyed by him and his real family, not with the woman who arguably later regretted her decision and who now seeks attention at the expense of her son she claims to love. My question to Russo is: Why the need to go public when Colin does not want to meet you or include you in his life?
Here is one story about the issue: 49ers Birthmother Wants to Meet Son. But you will find other stories regarding this story as well on most sports news sites. It is truly sad, for Colin and the Kaepernicks.
My husband is a sports fanatic. Last night, I saw Heidi Russo on ESPN, speaking about the son she gave up for adoption when she was 19. She choose a loving couple, who for six or seven years kept in touch with her to show her her son's progress. At her request, they stopped sending pictures and contact. For Russo, it was too painful to move on with her life, being consistently reminded about the decision she made.
Colin Kaepernick, now the quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers, has NO DESIRE to meet Russo. After multiple attempts to connect with him, she turned to the media. Days before his big game - the Super Bowl - she gave an interview, declaring how "proud" and "happy" she was for him. She did meet the Kaepernick's after one of Colin's game with her now 9-year old son, but Colin did not wish to see her. His real parents, the Kaepernick's, have always supported his decision to either meet or not meet Russo. But Colin is secure with his life and his family, and his friends doubt he will ever change his mind about not wishing to see or meet his birth mother in person.
Russo tracked Colin down via Facebook and Twitter, and continues to use the media to connect with him. I find this shallow and rude. It is very disrepectful of Russo to ignore Colin's decision and to try to gain sympathy from a public who has no business knowing about Colin's business in this way.
If Colin had turned out to be a Christopher Donner or the DC Sniper, would Russo use the media to make herself known that she had given birth to him? Her timing is priceless. Furthermore, his success should be enjoyed by him and his real family, not with the woman who arguably later regretted her decision and who now seeks attention at the expense of her son she claims to love. My question to Russo is: Why the need to go public when Colin does not want to meet you or include you in his life?
Here is one story about the issue: 49ers Birthmother Wants to Meet Son. But you will find other stories regarding this story as well on most sports news sites. It is truly sad, for Colin and the Kaepernicks.
This is an article from 2 years ago (2010) long before the above article:
It seems to me that he brought it up himself that Heidi had made contact with his parents and that he wasn't ready right then. It sounds like they have occasional exchanged messages:
Quote:
His birth mother stayed in touch with his parents off and on, but three years ago, she reached out to Colin through Facebook. One day, he logged into his account and had a note and friend request waiting.
They have exchanged messages every once in a while, but have never spoken on the phone or met in person. She did attend his game at Colorado State last season but never made a move to meet him. She told him she was in the stands a week later.
So 5 years ago, she made contact after staying in touch with his parents on and off, was he famous 5 years ago?
Has he actually come out and said that he wishes she wouldn't tweet about him? If messages have been made privately in those last 5 years, as mentioned in my attached article, then perhaps he doesn't mind as much as everyone else does about the tweets. If he has said that he would like her to stop tweeting, then if I were her, I would do so, however, I don't know if he has ever said anything like that. Also, I don't know if she contacted the media or the media contacted her to get her side of the story - after all, they would have known of her existence from that earlier article.
Last edited by susankate; 02-26-2013 at 07:15 PM..
The interview on ESPN is newer than your source. It aired last night. She is still trying to contact him, and he still does not want contact with her. He responds to her messages sporadically and my guess is that he is only being polite due to his popularity in the sports world. I posted this news article because the other sources were blogs or op eds that were not as neutral.
The botton line is, she's not respecting him or his family by doing this.
The interview on ESPN is newer than your source. It aired last night. She is still trying to contact him, and he still does not want contact with her. He responds to her messages sporadically and my guess is that he is only being polite due to his popularity in the sports world. I posted this news article because the other sources were blogs or op eds that were not as neutral.
The botton line is, she's not respecting him or his family by doing this.
The point of my source is that it was a lot older and that she didn't just decide to make contact now, she made contact 5 years ago and that she has been in contact with his family on and off during the time before that. Judging by a lot of the opinion articles I've read, they make it sound as if she just came out of the blue in the last few months to say "Hey I'm Colin's bmom, I want contact" which isn't really how it seems to have been at all.
The older article, being from 2010 and not one of the large number of articles out now, strikes me as being an interview with him where he himself has stated the situation about his bmother. He has used her name in an article long before she even contacted the media herself (or perhaps the media contacted her, I don't know).
The point also about the messages is that there could be private messages where she has stated what she is doing. Also, I would be interested to know if he has ever messaged her and told her to stop. If I were famous and I had a problem with a relative tweeting about me, I would let them know, most likely via private message. If he has sent her messages to stop, then yes she is disrepecting his wishes. However, I've seen no evidence that points to that.
Am I saying that I would be trying to make contact if I were his bmom? Probably not but that is just me. However, I have no idea what takes place privately and neither do you.
Btw if I were famous and I talked about my adoption, I personally wouldn't use my bmom's name in an article but again that is just me. I'm so private that 20 of my 50 FB friends are biological relatives and friends of bfamily but none of the other 30 have any idea that those 20 other FB friends are my bio relatives.
Last edited by susankate; 02-26-2013 at 07:56 PM..
Just a comment re an interesting comment from your article:
Quote:
"I've been out to dinner with them and you can see the job they did raising him. I think he would view it as almost treasonous to them to meet with his biological mother or father. They did such a great job giving him everything he needed to be successful in life."
First of all, the above is a quote by a friend of Colin's, not Colins view himself, he may not feel that way at all.
From everything I've read about his parents, they wouldn't have a problem at all if he did decide to meet his bparents. His mum and dad seem very secure in their love for him. So therefore why would it be considered treasonous to meet with his bparents? In fact, if one is secure in one's love for one's child and one's child is secure in one's love for one's parents, then both parties would realise that meeting bparents is a separate thing unrelated to their own mutual love. Certainly, neither party would consider it treasonous. Personally, if my aparents felt it was treasonous of me to meet with bparents, I would wonder why they didn't trust me. I hae never felt treasonous about meeting bfamily because I never associated meeting with them as being a betrayal of my aparents and my aparents have never felt that way either.
Personally, I get sick of articles saying how lucky Colin is that he wasn't aborted. It was the same with Steve Job after he died.
To me that is exploitation of the adoptee.
How so? Colin may very well feel "lucky" he was adopted, that is his right. Just as it is his right to not wish to meet his birth mother. She is exploiting the situation by going public with a very private issue; even if she was contacted by the media first, which I doubt, she could have declined to comment. Whom is she best serving by making statements to the media?
Every adoption is different. Hence, every adoptee's story is different. Some may want reunification, others may not. There should always be respect for one's privacy. Whether that privacy be for the birth parent or the adoptee.
Russo's tactics are extremely suspicious. Colin appears to have picked up on this, and is wisely handling her with kid gloves.
Just a comment re an interesting comment from your article:
First of all, the above is a quote by a friend of Colin's, not Colins view himself, he may not feel that way at all.
From everything I've read about his parents, they wouldn't have a problem at all if he did decide to meet his bparents. His mum and dad seem very secure in their love for him. So therefore why would it be considered treasonous to meet with his bparents? In fact, if one is secure in one's love for one's child and one's child is secure in one's love for one's parents, then both parties would realise that meeting bparents is a separate thing unrelated to their own mutual love. Certainly, neither party would consider it treasonous. Personally, if my aparents felt it was treasonous of me to meet with bparents, I would wonder why they didn't trust me. I hae never felt treasonous about meeting bfamily because I never associated meeting with them as being a betrayal of my aparents and my aparents have never felt that way either.
But this isn't about how you felt or would have felt about meeting your birth parents. Colin's friend gave an honest answer based upon what Colin has stated to him, obviously. Colin's parents have said all along that they support whatever decision HE makes. So, his feelings are being considered, by his parents. It is his birth mother who is not considering his feelings by circumventing him and going public.
Colin's parents don't find it treasonous, but their son, Colin, may. They are secure with their love of Colin and his of them, they are respecting his wishes.
Have not heard of this story until now but am reminded of the Shaquille O'Neal situation early in his career as a famous athlete when the sperm donor (Joe Toney) wanted to mosey into his life and the news cycle. Shaq in his own inimitable style told it like it is (I'm paraphrasing): "My Dad is the man who raised me (his stepfather Phillip Harrison). This person (sperm donor) had nothing to do with my life for 25 years and is not coming into it now for the celebrity."
Colin K depending on his emotional development and circumstance may end up having to do the same.
On a tangential thought perhaps it does illustrate the difference between a birthmother versus sperm donor, in that a woman as the incubator carrying vessel for nine months has stronger 'internal bonding' ties no matter the cirumstances that lead to putting a child up for adoption.
I don't understand how, based on the linked article above, you conclude that Russo is not respecting her son's privacy or that she is trying to reach out to him via media. The article says nothing of the kind and does not appear to be based on a sit-down interview considering the sparseness of the info coming from Russo and the fact that the picture they published of her is from her Twitter account, not one taken by Yahoo. Knowing how media often works I would bet that the article is based on a short phone interview which may or may not have been preplanned. You are surely jumping to a lot of conclusions and seem to base your opinions on those.
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