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And for those who use the argument "but what about the special needs children?", do you think many people gave a stuff about them when healthy infants /children were more readily available?
Welll, yes, I do not only think that, but also know that, being acquainted with many, many American adoptive families who have bio. kids with special needs, or typical bio. kids, or bio. kids in both categories, who've then added to their families by deliberately internationally adopting children with special needs. I've met a great many of these families in person, for that matter, along with their children.
I also know other American adoptive families who do not have biological children, but who have deliberately adopted children with special needs, along with yet more American adoptive families without biological children who've deliberately adopted both typically developing children and children with special needs.
I am part of a family which fits into this last category. We certainly do "give a stuff" about ALL the children in our family, no matter how they became part of it. We also continue to support kids living in the orphanages of our young relatives' birth country, as do many, many other international adoptive families.
As I am sure you are also aware, as we've hashed this over extremely thoroughly and in great detail previously.
And for those who use the argument "but what about the special needs children?", do you think many people gave a stuff about them when healthy infants /children were more readily available?
Well, almost all international adoption is now special needs adoption, so caring about the kids with special needs is pretty darn important. The kids being adopted now are the kids their birth countries do not want, and closing or curtailing international adoption will hurt them terribly (and lead to many, many deaths).
The use of false names and pictures is to protect the identity of the actual children - it would be illegal for the organisation to actually use the real ones. Even so, there are still those who feel the children are being exploited (will post a link later).
As for the quiz, I deliberately posted the link to open on that page so you could do it. If you had looked down the left hand side you would have seen links to other pages.
Again, it all comes down to trust. If the adoption agency feeds me a pack of lies, then why should I not use a cover story to prevent adoption agencies from exploiting me? I don't see lies as a basis of a good relationship. It also makes the assumption that potential adoptive families are somehow bad people for inquiring about children available for adoption. Neither assumption is going to make for a very good relationship.
Their quiz seems suspect as well, if adoption is their focus why do potential adoptive couples have to search for the links when the quiz is the focus of the website? It definitely makes me think that the agency has an agenda and it's not in my best interest to utilize this agency.
Again, adults adopt, not children. Misleading the adults that want to adopt is NOT helping anyone.
And for those who use the argument "but what about the special needs children?", do you think many people gave a stuff about them when healthy infants /children were more readily available?
Wow, jaded much? We adopted a special needs child when there were plenty of "healthy infants" available. In fact, I know many people who did.
I will say that susankate probably has a different view also because she's from Australia. People from different countries are known to accept different "levels" of special needs, and Americans are known to be open to the most "severe" needs. That's a statement that came directly from officials of China, in particular. It's also been mentioned by people who have been involved in special needs adoption for quite some time.
Many countries won't allow any special needs international adoption, and Australia has a list of "unacceptable" special needs. So, culture probably does play into how one feels about this topic in particular.
Did you read this PDF carefully? For most states, contact with biological family members is set up circumstantially and is optional for adoptive parents. If you don't want the contact, your option is don't adopt.
Once adoption is final, adoptive parents have the exact legal obligations as biological parents. Period.
I don't think either of you understand open adoption which is how adoption works in the USA. The birth parents set the rules as a condition of agreeing to give up the child to you for adoption. If they want to join you for Christmas, they join you for Christmas.
Look, I'm no fan of US domestic infant adoption either. However, the more ethically you try to adopt, the fewer problems you will have with the above situations. The irony is that the ghastly domestic infant adoption situation in the US is as it is because it is parent-led, i.e. in general, agencies exist to broker adoptions, supply must be found. It is not entirely coincidental that the most pro-adoption states are also the ones with the most issues.
It would actually be very easy to fix all the issues in domestic adoption. However, doing so would also reduce the number of women relinquishing their childen considerably. And in the end, is that not the crux of the matter - everyone wants ethical adoptions without reducing the supply.
Also, again even though I am no fan of US domestic infant adoption, I do have a lot to do on other forums with people who have adopted domestically and thus what you have said is inaccurate.
The fact also that you wanted a closed adoption does show that your first thought was about you, not your child. There are various levels of open adoption, the vast majority are "semi-open" (i.e. exchange of info and pictures (usually guided by the PAPs comfort levels bbtw) and so there is no excuse for wanting a completely closed adoption. Interestingly, the most healthy modern day adoptions I've seen online these days are open adoptions where the child knows their bmother.
Open adoption is the definition of dysfunction. You are creating a confusing situation for the child and essentially creating a "divorced" family which is not a positive. It can work as many actual divorced families work, but it is hardly ideal.
Open adoption is adoption done for the benefit of the birth parent, NOT for the child.
I will say that susankate probably has a different view also because she's from Australia. People from different countries are known to accept different "levels" of special needs, and Americans are known to be open to the most "severe" needs. That's a statement that came directly from officials of China, in particular. It's also been mentioned by people who have been involved in special needs adoption for quite some time.
Many countries won't allow any special needs international adoption, and Australia has a list of "unacceptable" special needs. So, culture probably does play into how one feels about this topic in particular.
I know one young couple who adopted a foreign infant without arms and legs.
I don't think either of you understand open adoption which is how adoption works in the USA. The birth parents set the rules as a condition of agreeing to give up the child to you for adoption. If they want to join you for Christmas, they join you for Christmas.
FALSE FALSE FALSE. Prospective adoptions parents; don't listen to this nonsense.
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