[lakeand1]

Hey, I'm a guy from the north (MI) and started dating a girl from AL. The culture differences, especially how a gentleman treats a lady, has caused some issues. It's not that I dont respect her or care about her, I absolutely do, it's just how we show it is completely different. Anyway looking for some advice on how a conservative gentleman treats a lady (for example, telling her you'll pick her up at a certain time for a date and have her plan her day around that rather than asking what time she wants to go out, etc.) down south. Any advice you could give, or maybe some books to read or websites to check out would be very helpful! And not just how to treat a lady, but anything about the south. I can tell ya'll take your heritage very seriously and are proud of where you're from, I'd like to impress her by knowin a little bit more about where she comes from.

Thanks!

[CoreLysium]

If she had nothing planned at the time you suggested, why should it matter.

There's not that great a culture difference. How do you feel that the north shows respect to women that is different than the south?

[Threestep2]

How do you treat a lady up North?

[lakeand1]

The biggest difference is girls up north are much more feminist, the gender roles are much less defined whereas I've found girls down south are much more traditional and expect to be treated/lead in a certain way that just doesnt exist up north

What I meant by the date example is a guy is expected to take more of a lead, not a dictator but more assertive and a decision-maker, that may have been a bad example but I assure you, there are great cultural differences

And I'm sure you'll say "well a guy should be a leader and a decision-maker no matter where he's from" and you're right, he SHOULD, but that just doesnt get taught up north

[Threestep2]

Originally Posted by lakeand1

The biggest difference is girls up north are much more feminist, the gender roles are much less defined whereas I've found girls down south are much more traditional and expect to be treated/lead in a certain way that just doesnt exist up north

What I meant by the date example is a guy is expected to take more of a lead, not a dictator but more assertive and a decision-maker, that may have been a bad example but I assure you, there are great cultural differences

And I'm sure you'll say "well a guy should be a leader and a decision-maker no matter where he's from" and you're right, he SHOULD, but that just doesnt get taught up north

Steel magnolias are not abraisive in public but they do make their decisions:>) Mama not happy, nobody happy:>)
Grits expect to be treated like ladies - open doors, pull chairs, see to thier comforts ... You may think you lead but most of the time you are being led. Be yourself! Do not expect her to work her day around yours. Ask what is convenient for her. Be on time! Visit with the family. Do not use Southernese as you will mispronounce it.

[CoreLysium]

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black."

"No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black."

The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears to be black from here."

(Don't make assumptions based on small sample size)

[Southlander]

Yeah, Core, you fit right into Huntsville........pocket protector and all!!!

[Keeper]

I agree with 3step and I am a southern woman. I have lived in areas where man do not open doors or do other things most southern men do. I hadn't seen a man tip his hat to a women in 40 years until I moved back to AL. If you ask me out I expect 'you' to make the plans for the day. If you ask me out and want me to suggest something you better do it before the day because that is the way we southern women are. I can make suggestions at the last moment but it is just not the way we do things.

I don't know of any books but you should sit down and 'talk' with your GF and ask her to tell you what she misses or likes about the south if she lives in another area.

The Life and Times of a Southern Woman

[Threestep2]

Originally Posted by Southlander

Yeah, Core, you fit right into Huntsville........pocket protector and all!!!

:>)))

[Threestep2]

Originally Posted by Keeper

I agree with 3step and I am a southern woman. I have lived in areas where man do not open doors or do other things most southern men do. I hadn't seen a man tip his hat to a women in 40 years until I moved back to AL. If you ask me out I expect 'you' to make the plans for the day. If you ask me out and want me to suggest something you better do it before the day because that is the way we southern women are. I can make suggestions at the last moment but it is just not the way we do things.

I don't know of any books but you should sit down and 'talk' with your GF and ask her to tell you what she misses or likes about the south if she lives in another area.

The Life and Times of a Southern Woman

I did not know there is a devious side to you Keeper:>) I am an immigrant. Come from a very very deep southern culture. Grits let their man have the last word - in public:>) Be polite, be charming, court her ... be yourself. And good luck!!!