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I've probably said this before, but I find things much more passive-aggressive out west (I suspect it's a western thing, or at least Southwestern). Or maybe that's not quite the word for it. All I know is, I have on more than one occasion run into situations where people suddenly act in a very dramatic way, cutting me off in some form, when there has been absolutely no warning. There is no build-up, no step-wise progression. There is simply a final dramatic reaction of some sort.
Back east, I would generally find out pretty quickly if someone was bothered by something I had been doing, or not doing in. In some cases that even cleared up a misunderstanding. For instance, I remember one co-worker getting very angry with me when he thought I had failed to respond to his greeting. In fact, I had responded, but my volume was so low he hadn't heard it. Out here, that co-worker would probably just go away angry, not respond to me the next time I said hello, etc. There doesn't seem to be as much of a model of having a discussion about things and thrashing things out.
Likewise, if I get so angry with someone that I decide to cut them off, they almost always have had lots of warnings ahead of time.
If I suspect people are annoyed with me, I need to stop assuming it's not that bad because they aren't saying anything about it. On the other hand, sometimes it's still difficult to no exactly what is bothering someone. There are times when it could have more than one explanation. I can ask, but I am not very confident I will get a straight answer.
If I suspect people are annoyed with me, I need to stop assuming it's not that bad because they aren't saying anything about it. On the other hand, sometimes it's still difficult to no exactly what is bothering someone. There are times when it could have more than one explanation. I can ask, but I am not very confident I will get a straight answer.
ApartmentNomad - I suspect that most people, from wherever they're from, have their breaking point or their limit, and they'll chime in to either put you in your place or just get whatever it is off their chest, so to speak. But what you're describing about passive-aggressiveness is very real.
A lot of people say it's Scandanavian and found in the Seattle area, where I'm from. But my wife's stepdad is from Chicago and he's very passive-aggressive. With him, you may find out 2 weeks later what it is about something you did or said that irritated him to no end.
I'd say the spring juniper allergies that go on for months is the worst thing. That and the increase in crime, particularly in the past 5 years or so in all areas of the city. The wind can be annoying at times but I'll take that over tornadoes or typhoons. Overall I consider ABQ my home, own property there, and intend to return in the future.
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