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When I have a guest bring a bottle of wine as a hostess gift, I say "would you like me to serve the wine you brought"? Usually the answer is "yes"! For a casual family gathering, I see no problem with including a guest-brought dessert with what I've made.
NOW let's talk about dinner guests salting their food before they've even tasted it, that really irks me and I find it so insulting!!
you are right about the salt and asking about the wine, but what irks me as well, as a guest I see there is no salt and pepper on the table. That is annoying as well.
I once took a bottle of wine to my MIL's house. A wine that both my DH and I loved. When I gave it to her she said, "That's total crap! It's too sweet. Take it back home with you!" (She's kind of feisty.)
We figured, "OK. More for us". We drank what she had on hand and took the crappy bottle home to enjoy.
It's all in how you look at things. You can go looking for trouble or you can go with the flow.
Oh right, YOU try not going to family gatherings with my inlaws!
There's a whole undercurrent of obligation to every get-together they have. We HAVE TO go. And it's not like the conversation is so wonderful I can just focus on that and not the food. If the food were any good, I could at least find the gathering tolerable.
I do realize now that I'm really talking about two different but related issues:
1)My inlaws are indeed a PITA, and I have a problem with the fact that they never serve what I bring over, but they serve crappy stuff instead.
2) I generally think guests should bring something to a party and I also think that the host should make sure it's served.
It was the recent #1 situation that burned me up so much and made me do the post. I do understand that some people think I'm wrong on #2, but likewise, I think they're wrong. Maybe neither of is is right or wrong; it's how we were raised. Everying seems to think that how they were raised is the right way.
It just annoys me that after like 12 years, these people haven't figured out that when their sons and daughters in law bring food or drink, it needs to get served. The other sons and daughters in law have no qualms about going into the fridge and making sure their stuff gets served, but we would never do such a thing. So I quietly grumble, but I would not stoop to going into their fridge and doing what they should be doing as hosts. I realize I could speak up, but really, it's not worth the drama that would ensue.
This reminds me of one of the first postings I wrote on CD. I was invited to shower, and told to bring a food. This was very inappropriate, I thought, but I did it anyway. So, I spent hours baking a lemon meringue pie from scratch, but all anyone wanted to eat was some disgusting dessert make from a cake mix and pudding, or a banana pudding dessert. It's like some people just don't comprehend quality. Its futile.
This reminds me of one of the first postings I wrote on CD. I was invited to shower, and told to bring a food. This was very inappropriate, I thought, but I did it anyway. So, I spent hours baking a lemon meringue pie from scratch, but all anyone wanted to eat was some disgusting dessert make from a cake mix and pudding, or a banana pudding dessert. It's like some people just don't comprehend quality. Its futile.
sounds like a baby shower I went to about a month ago. Here was/is the situation: it is the daughter of one of our bridge players, most of us had never met her or only once and one of our regulars decided she would throw a shower for the mommy who is having twins. Anyway we were all invited to the shower, told to bring a dish and I think even in what catagory and then, to add to this, it was decided babies had plenty of clothes so we would give money toward car seats for the two little ones: the car seats were $160.00 each so we all were asked to put in $30 to $40. Of course we were told we could give less if we wanted. Sure!!!! I will say we had a good time and both mom and dad were really grateful. I still thought it was a bit tacky.
I would have gone into the kitchen and brought out the bottle of wine or cut my own pie and offered it. I would have done it with a smile on my face and let the hostess know that I was happy to help her out and that she seemed a little busy. That's just me....
For family or friend get togethers, maybe its just us but if anyone brought a bottle, an appetizer, dessert or even an added sidedish it was usually appreciated and served. No one took offense that it was an insult to the cook or anyone else's taste. We just saw it as more to share with good company and even if it was awful you'd still take some so as not to hurt anyone's feelings.
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For a casual family gathering, I see no problem with including a guest-brought dessert with what I've made. 
