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And if you really want something to live for, immediately, go to the animal shelter and rescue a cat (or a dog, if you prefer).. Pets are basically children and they love you back. I have a "forever cat," Edward. No matter how ill I may be, I have to get up and feed him, pet him, etc. He's my close companion and he looks after me, too:
I like dogs (and horses), too. But cats smell good. Edward is enormous but he's very mellow and has a sweet and loving temperament. A friend of mine found him abandoned, scrounging food from a dumpster behind a pizza hut. She called kitty kitty, and he jumped in her car!
My friend and I had this discussion today and while she believes in some sort of afterlife (not sure what) and I don't we both agreed that WHATEVER happnes once we die is beyond our brains to know but will happen regardless of what we believe as it has to every person who has ever existed.
If you have trouble sleeping due to "can't turn off my brain" syndrome talk to your Dr. I've experienced a similar problem, unrelated to questions about our existance, and occasionally use something to help quiet my thoughts.
What you are experiencing is pretty normal for people who have recently left religion for atheism. You do not say this is your situation, but I am going to guess that it is and answer accordingly.
All of your life you have been promised something pretty amazing. Eternal, blissful life. It is a pretty big promise, and would be wonderful if it were true. The problem is that it is not, and religion has been lying to you. Having come to the realization that it is a lie, you are facing a loss, and dealing with the grief that accompanies any big loss.
You can ignore that grief and loss, but that is simply avoiding reality. Similarly a person can ignore a breakup or divorce in their personal life, or a death, but those losses are still real and refusing to face them can make you crazy.
So you are left with the uncomfortable fact that something you had counted on is now gone, and even more, all of the authority figures in your life have been revealed as mistaken or liars.
That really sucks, but again, does not change the reality.
So mourn your loss, then get over it and seize life. Realize that without an afterlife, and without a judgmental god, the world and all of its possibilities are yours. Fall in love. Adopt a puppy. Learn a language and get your scuba diving license. Drink too much, exercise too much, then sleep in on Sunday to recover before meeting with your friends for waffles.
Do all of these things knowing that you are living your life to the fullest extent you want to, and you are not responsible to any god.
Also know that god-ridden individuals are going to worry about sin, expectations and their reputation in the church community, yet their end will be EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOURS.
Nothing has changed, except nobody is lying to you any more.
The past few nights I have had trouble sleeping and have even cried a few times because of too much thinking. What is bothering me is basically the thought that we are the universe experiencing itself.. that's all. Once we are dead the energy that is us is just transferred to something else. This is by no means a new concept to me but I guess I have just been thinking about it too much recently. That once I am gone, I will really be gone forever. My thoughts and everything that I consist of is just star dust arranged in a weird pattern. I can barely fathom the thought of myself not existing in any form, but I believe that is what will happen. Nothing else really makes sense. I don't want to say my life means nothing, but I hope you guys can see what I'm getting at. I'm not really sure where else to go with this problem. If anyone has any advice, I would find it very helpful. I'm just having trouble accepting the fact that once I'm gone, that's it.
You might want to consider reading on Buddhism or a school of atheist Hindu thought called advaita vedanta. I know the latter explained a lot to me about ourselves and the universe in a way I never thought possible. Don't let the Hindu thing run you off. There are no gods, no karma, no reincarnation, or any of that. It is a philosophy about the nature of consciousness. I find it helpful to meditate on it when I think about the end of this existence.
You might want to consider reading on Buddhism or a school of atheist Hindu thought called advaita vedanta. I know the latter explained a lot to me about ourselves and the universe in a way I never thought possible. Don't let the Hindu thing run you off. There are no gods, no karma, no reincarnation, or any of that. It is a philosophy about the nature of consciousness. I find it helpful to meditate on it when I think about the end of this existence.
That looks incredibly interesting but when I looked it up on Amazon there nearly 2,000 books. If you have time, could you recommend a specific book or author?
You are experiencing Total EGO, which can't imagine a day without it "self" being in control. This is natural when all you reference is on the ego level. Meditate, go beyond the self you know, grow, become more then the sum of your parts, so you have someone to talk to someday.
NoCapo, that was a great post that I found very meaningful. Your analogy with a musical composition is really helpful. Music also reminds us of the importance of the present moment. The notes that have already been played can never be heard again, so it's useless to dwell on them. The notes that are to come are meaningless---we can't hear them. Only the present notes have meaning. They're the only ones that can be heard.
Raindrops, you wrote, "I can barely fathom the thought of myself not existing in any form, but I believe that is what will happen. Nothing else really makes sense." I don't see it that way. If you toil your entire life, trying to survive, to become a better person, to become wise, to do good work, and then you die and it all disappears---THAT doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense that all that would have no meaning or purpose and it would all just disappear.
I far prefer to believe that my life has a purpose. I believe that my purpose in this life is to perfect myself spiritually---to become wiser, more compassionate, more loving, more united with other spirits. I believe that when I die I will carry that learning with me into the next dimension. I can't prove that this is true, but NOTHING ELSE MAKES SENSE, so I choose this belief over other beliefs that would only demoralize me.
Since we can't know for sure why we're here and what happens when we die, I invest in beliefs that energize, inspire, and comfort me. It doesn't make sense to invest in beliefs that depress you. Whether the beliefs are literally true or not (like whether we go to heaven etc.) doesn't matter. It only matters that your beliefs help you lead a better life and allow you your fair share of happiness.
I think we're meant to experience hardship in order to learn lessons like compassion, but I also think we're meant to be happy. So don't deny yourself happiness by holding on to an unhappy belief. It's simpler than you think. Choose happiness. It's always there in front of you for your choosing.
NoCapo, that was a great post that I found very meaningful. Your analogy with a musical composition is really helpful. Music also reminds us of the importance of the present moment. The notes that have already been played can never be heard again, so it's useless to dwell on them. The notes that are to come are meaningless---we can't hear them. Only the present notes have meaning. They're the only ones that can be heard.
Raindrops, you wrote, "I can barely fathom the thought of myself not existing in any form, but I believe that is what will happen. Nothing else really makes sense." I don't see it that way. If you toil your entire life, trying to survive, to become a better person, to become wise, to do good work, and then you die and it all disappears---THAT doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense that all that would have no meaning or purpose and it would all just disappear.
I far prefer to believe that my life has a purpose. I believe that my purpose in this life is to perfect myself spiritually---to become wiser, more compassionate, more loving, more united with other spirits. I believe that when I die I will carry that learning with me into the next dimension. I can't prove that this is true, but NOTHING ELSE MAKES SENSE, so I choose this belief over other beliefs that would only demoralize me.
Since we can't know for sure why we're here and what happens when we die, I invest in beliefs that energize, inspire, and comfort me. It doesn't make sense to invest in beliefs that depress you. Whether the beliefs are literally true or not (like whether we go to heaven etc.) doesn't matter. It only matters that your beliefs help you lead a better life and allow you your fair share of happiness.
I think we're meant to experience hardship in order to learn lessons like compassion, but I also think we're meant to be happy. So don't deny yourself happiness by holding on to an unhappy belief. It's simpler than you think. Choose happiness. It's always there in front of you for your choosing.
Agreed. Given the range of beliefs that are held by people, the fact that no one really knows what is actually true, and that believing that it's all over when we die is both depressing, and to me, wildly improbable considering that we are on a spinning chunk of rock hurtling through space and are cognizant enough to even wonder about our own existence, it is pure insanity to me to choose to believe in a meaningless existence.
I like Russell's definition of what it means to be a freethinker; it's not so much what you believe as how you hold your beliefs. If you believe things because your parents or your community believes them, or because they make you feel good, then your thought isn't free. But if you hold your beliefs tentatively, always prepared to examine new evidence as it arises, then your thought is free, however odd your conclusions may be.
I think there is something missing in this notion that we should chose to believe those things which make us happy, and that is, respect for the truth--no matter where it leads us, or whether or not it may contradict our most cherished beliefs. The search for truth has a value and nobility which transcends our personal concerns.
Last edited by mvintar; 12-31-2012 at 08:52 PM..
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