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My good friend from high-school told me recently that he stopped believing in God on his own terms. In the years that I've known him, he's always been Christian. Though it wasn't something he talked about a lot, it was a pretty large part of his family and identity.
I've been an Atheist my entire life, as have my parents, my paternal grandfather, and many other family members on my dad's side. I've dealt with some of the feelings of exclusion, and small bouts of existential dread when I was very young - and my family has always been incredibly supportive of me through all of it.
My friend, however, is the only Atheist in his family - and he hasn't told any family members yet. He tries to schedule work on Sundays so he has a decent excuse to skip going to church. I don't know his family members very well, so I can't say for sure if they would be accepting or not. I do know that my he is tentative to let them know, because he doesn't want them to have hurt feelings over it.
I've gotten some texts from him, saying things like "I should really stop drinking alone" followed by him asking if I can find someone over 21 to buy bottles of liquor for him; though recently he told me that he's pretty much stopped drinking alcohol altogether because he knows that his drinking pattern could easily escalate. I don't monitor him, so I don't know where the situation stands as of right now.
He's my friend, and I care about him - but I don't know how to tell him that I'm worried about how he's handling the loss of his faith. I feel like I don't have enough experience or advice to help him out because I've never known what it is like to believe in a higher power to begin with. All I know is that it was difficult for me to come to terms with death as I understand it, and it must be even harder for him since he's 18 and has something to compare it to. (I hope I'm making sense here)
Anyway, is there anything I should be doing to help him as he deals with this? I don't want to jump in and start acting like a professional, but I do want to make sure that he is coping alright.
Losing one's faith is a big deal and he's going to have to deal with it in his own way. Stay in touch and don't let him spiral into a depression, there are things YOU can do but it involves lots of intervention and tough love. I've been there and I sure do wish there was someone in my life that didn't judge my deconversion into atheism. Hang tough and just let him know you're there for him.
It's tough to lose faith. I never had the problem, but I found that picking what matters to me and making that the purpose of my life keeps me positive.
Location: Sitting on a bar stool. Guinness in hand.
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Do you think your friend would consider professional help? Also do you believe this is the only issue your friend is dealing with? The situation may be compounded by some other things going on as well.
Do you think your friend would consider professional help? Also do you believe this is the only issue your friend is dealing with? The situation may be compounded by some other things going on as well.
Its definitely a possibility. To my knowledge he's been an open book with me these past few years, though that doesn't eliminate the possibility of there being something he doesn't tell anyone. Him and I have dealt with some self-esteem issues in highschool, but I don't think it was to the point of distress. That's not something that I could easily bring up without it sounding forced, though.
If something is going on, I'm not sure if he's the type of person to seek professional help. That's kinda what worries me.
Definitely keep in touch with him. Deconversion from "hard core" religion can be very difficult.
The alcohol situation worries me. Constant use can cause physical dependence, if I'm not mistaken.
It worries me too. My brother is an alcoholic and the relentless pain it puts him and my famliy through is hard to bear sometimes. I really hope that my friend doesn't go down that path. He's never mentioned going through withdrawal or struggling to stay sober, but when he drinks, he drinks.
My good friend from high-school told me recently that he stopped believing in God on his own terms. In the years that I've known him, he's always been Christian. Though it wasn't something he talked about a lot, it was a pretty large part of his family and identity.
I've been an Atheist my entire life, as have my parents, my paternal grandfather, and many other family members on my dad's side. I've dealt with some of the feelings of exclusion, and small bouts of existential dread when I was very young - and my family has always been incredibly supportive of me through all of it.
My friend, however, is the only Atheist in his family - and he hasn't told any family members yet. He tries to schedule work on Sundays so he has a decent excuse to skip going to church. I don't know his family members very well, so I can't say for sure if they would be accepting or not. I do know that my he is tentative to let them know, because he doesn't want them to have hurt feelings over it.
I've gotten some texts from him, saying things like "I should really stop drinking alone" followed by him asking if I can find someone over 21 to buy bottles of liquor for him; though recently he told me that he's pretty much stopped drinking alcohol altogether because he knows that his drinking pattern could easily escalate. I don't monitor him, so I don't know where the situation stands as of right now.
He's my friend, and I care about him - but I don't know how to tell him that I'm worried about how he's handling the loss of his faith. I feel like I don't have enough experience or advice to help him out because I've never known what it is like to believe in a higher power to begin with. All I know is that it was difficult for me to come to terms with death as I understand it, and it must be even harder for him since he's 18 and has something to compare it to. (I hope I'm making sense here)
Anyway, is there anything I should be doing to help him as he deals with this? I don't want to jump in and start acting like a professional, but I do want to make sure that he is coping alright.
I became one on my own at the age of like 10. It aint that big a deal. You make it sounds like you found out your gay and lost the taste for women. '79 cosmos sealed it for me, Carl was creepy and I like girlz. Just be sure he, and you, understand that any "fooling of you" is on you. Not them.
"revenge" is a dark road that many atheists go down. If you or he was not abused by anybody then cutting lose is as easy as not drinking grape juice ever again. You'll be amazed at how much time you have to finish the chores on sunday. he has to be a big boy now. Pull up his boxer briefs and tell his family. I carry an extra set just in case I tinkle myself giving unpleasant news. I am a real man.
I heard of experiments using mice where the mice were prone to drug abuse only if their lives were constricting and difficult. Once they had enough friends, mates, toys, and space, they didn't need drugs as a crutch. Talk to your friend, help him by letting him educate himself. He just doesn't want to be alone, get groups of friends and organize sports, More than 2 drinks per day is very bad for a man's liver on average, let alone developing high-scholers who aren't even of legal age to drink. It doesn't make one better to drink illegally, if he wants to rebel against the non-alcoholic society he should do it properly and in a way that helps others. Destructive behavior is destructive, he needs knowledgable adults and good strong-willed friends to help him have fun and socialize properly. I hope those brought up a few good points to your mind.
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