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Everything on these threads has been very helpful, but I still would like some input on moving back here. I grew up in Cattaraugus County (Little Valley), but moved before high school. I'm in a domestic partnership with a disabled woman, and we have one 14 year old daughter. I definitely DON'T want to be in the city. I want lots of land, but not be too far away from a city. I currently live in Humboldt County, CA. The cost of living here is outrageous. You can't buy a postage stamp house for less than $200K. Gas is $3.29 a gallon. Everything is trucked in, and groceries are hideously expensive. We live behind the redwood curtain. I have a 20 minute commute every day currently, so I don't have a problem commuting for a job. There is no Wal-Mart within 100 miles. (Hard to believe, I know, but this area HATES "Big Box".) My only concern is how the area will accept my family. Currently we live in a VERY liberal area. My father warns me we may not be welcome, but I'm hoping that isn't the case. We're not real social people, so I'm not concerned about making a ton of friends, but I don't want my daughter to be punished for the stigma. My lady is extremely concerned, as she's a native Californian. Any suggestions of a more liberal minded rural area? Or is that an oxymoron? So far, I like the Freedom, Mayville, and Delevan areas as far as home prices go... Anyone know anything about these areas?
I like Mayville, its a beautiful area that is relatively cheap (comparatively speaking). That being said, it really doesn't strike me as what I would consider a tolerant area. I really think you might have a tough time finding what you are looking for in Cattaragus or Chautauqua County. Ellicotville seems to me to be about the most liberal of the towns in that area (and thats only because of the ski bum/hippies that live there & overall its still far from being a liberal leaning town). You might have to look at the outer edges of the metro area to find a place that will accept you & still be somewhat rural, maybe something like East Aurora?
Do you have employment lined up? The job market is rough in Buffalo and likely worse the further down in the Southern Tier you go. Also be mindful of school ratings in the sticks.
Some info on the school district ratings: Business First's 13th Annual List of Best School Districts in WNY is Realeased McCain Obama Debates Buffalo NY and Buffalo News
Notice a number of the lowest rated districts are in the areas you have targeted.
I'd be looking at Ellicottville first and foremost as I think it would likely be the most open in that area to a same sex domestic situation. I really doubt your daughter would be ostricized at school and they do have a good school system there. Bear in mind commute considerations. It would be brutal to commute from there to city of Buffalo, especially in winter. Best of luck to you!
Personally, I'd look in Tompkins County, which includes Ithaca. Ithaca is known for being very "liberal" and gay friendly too. It's a nice area and once you leave Ithaca city limits, with a few exceptions, it is very rural. Make sure you can find a job in the area or somewhere not too much further away.
Thanks so much for some of those responses! As far as commuting goes, my father commutes an hour into Cheektowaga, and I've done it myself a few times with him in the winter on visits, so I am aware of what it means, but I've never had an issue commuting. I have several job opportunities thanks to my medical billing/accounting background. I'm prepared for some social issues, as I've said. That's actually why I WANT the sticks, because I can be the social hermit I like to be. =} I like the Ellicottville area, it's just more expensive thanks to those slopes, but I'm willing to pay a little more for a more friendly area. I just don't want to be kicked out of restaurants or grocery stores for holding hands with my loved one. I've heard that happened in the South a few times, and I'm hoping NYers aren't like that.
Personally, I'd look in Tompkins County, which includes Ithaca. Ithaca is known for being very "liberal" and gay friendly too. It's a nice area and once you leave Ithaca city limits, with a few exceptions, it is very rural. Make sure you can find a job in the area or somewhere not too much further away.
You'll get stares out in the country, most places anyhow. Chatauqua county is more Liberal, but places like Wyoming, Genesee, Cataragus, Livingston, and the more rural counties are quite very conservative, especially Wyoming and Livingston. You'd be better off closer to the city, I don't think that you'd get attacked or anything in the most Conservative areas, but having lived in Livingston county, I would bet you'd experience harassment fairly often... People out there don't like gays, and that won't change any time soon, if you move in, people will think you are trying to change their views, and in all honesty, you'll get run out of town... Just move closer to the city and the people who disagree with your lifestyle will at least keep quiet publicly, in the city, most people would actually agree...
Thanks so much for some of those responses! As far as commuting goes, my father commutes an hour into Cheektowaga, and I've done it myself a few times with him in the winter on visits, so I am aware of what it means, but I've never had an issue commuting. I have several job opportunities thanks to my medical billing/accounting background. I'm prepared for some social issues, as I've said. That's actually why I WANT the sticks, because I can be the social hermit I like to be. =} I like the Ellicottville area, it's just more expensive thanks to those slopes, but I'm willing to pay a little more for a more friendly area. I just don't want to be kicked out of restaurants or grocery stores for holding hands with my loved one. I've heard that happened in the South a few times, and I'm hoping NYers aren't like that.
I'd be shocked if you experience that sort of agressive prejudice anywhere in WNY. That said, go into it with eyes wide open and understand that small town mentality. Remember too that people in small towns can be curious about ALL new residents. A stare may not be prompted because of 2 women together but rather a "I wonder who this new person is, what brought them here, etc, etc, etc". Perhaps the first couple trips to the grocery store you can feel out the locals and get a sense for the vibe (before any PDA). I'm not sure what it says about our society in general but my guess is that you would face much worse discrimination if you were 2 males and not 2 females. Just my 2 cents.
Agree that you are not likely to meet a lot of aggressive prejudice. Western New York WAS California in terms of national social values in the early nineteenth century (google "burned over district" if you are interested) and these social attitudes die hard. That being said, you should consider rural Monroe County, just outside Rochester, as there is a pretty substantial gay community in the city and surrounding areas.
Are you in Garberville or further north in Humboldt?
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