Seeking rental security tips in SoCal (Aliso Viejo: houses, buy, living)

[Fontucky]

The presence of a camera would solve that. No need for rustling feet at the door.

That's pretty suspicious looking, dropping down to listen for footsteps.

[pacific2]

Originally Posted by Fontucky

The presence of a camera would solve that. No need for rustling feet at the door.

That's pretty suspicious looking, dropping down to listen for footsteps.

Some of them do it anyway and a camera won't stop a determined thief from breaking in. It could only capture his (likely disguised) image.

[Fontucky]

Nothing will stop a determined thief from breaking in.

[pacific2]

Originally Posted by Fontucky

Nothing will stop a determined thief from breaking in.

Very true, but the best strategy is to place as many obstacles as possible in their way in order to buy time. They don't like to linger. Some of them are also terribly brazen and may rely upon the disbelief factor ("Oh, no he's not doing that!") when needed.

Speaking of the disbelief factor, while living in Manhattan, I once witnessed crooks burglarizing a small upscale clothing boutique in plain view of a bunch of people who were waiting for a bus. The store alarm was wailing and the crooks acted as if they belonged there. They didn't rush as they carted off bundles of clothing from a basement storage area.

I was nearby waiting for a cab, and as far as I know, I was the only one who called the cops.

The thingy about listening to footsteps came to me straight from the mouth of a NYC crook.

[1200RT]

Need to determine if Sunny is more worried about threats from the Ex or common break ins. Different threat level, different planning.

There are many areas of LA where apt break ins, of normal citizens, are very uncommon. This would be your first level of safety.


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[Litlove71]

I had an ex that stalked me for a dozen years...

Pay special attention to dates that may trigger him. Holidays, birthdays, your anniversary, etc. When in doubt, go visit friends or relatives out of town. your possessions are replaceable, you're not.

If he calls you and claims to be coming for you, don't panic and try and leave. Call the police. He's probably already outside.

You may want to consider replacing your car. Always have a cell charger in your car.

Make sure you know all the local police and fire stations, and drive straight there if you see him following you. It was much more dangerous when I was out in public then when I was at home...

Don't communicate with him for any reason. The best response is no response. Make sure your family and friends don't pass info along about you.

Rent a granny flat on a gated property if possible. It won't necessarily be more expensive (at least in certain areas) and it'll be much more difficult for him to blend into the community.

If he has done or does anything that you feel justifies a restraining order, file asap. Yes, it will **** him off, but the cops will take you more seriously if you require their help.

Good luck!

[SunnyTXsmile]

Originally Posted by 1200RT

Need to determine if Sunny is more worried about threats from the Ex or common break ins. Different threat level, different planning.

There are many areas of LA where apt break ins, of normal citizens, are very uncommon. This would be your first level of safety.


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First, thank you to EVERYONE! Such fabulous tips I never would have thought of. I've been googling like mad, but you can only learn so much for the web. Experience is the best teacher. So thank you. I wish I could rep. all of you a dozen times.

To 1200RT, without getting too detailed here, it's an estranged ex (though we haven't been a couple for a very long time, we've been cohabitating since he owed me a LOT of money - and he's aware that was the situation, but I believe he's in denial). He is Italian with the fiery Italian temper (the main reason things ended). He's very strong and handy, that has a history of losing his cool when I leave (had to call the police to remove him from my home last time, he stalked me so much even my boss was losing it, he was such a nuisance outside my home my neighbors had had enough, and his family - that has since passed - eventually had him committed to a psych ward due to death and suicidal threats, erratic behavior, reckless driving, etc).

If this time is anything like last time, it's going to be exponentially compounded because not only am I leaving, there are now beloved dogs involved which he'll be angry I'm taking (but they are mine). As if that isn't enough, he has extra stress at work right now due to a company buy out (he used to love his job and now hates it), he has stress with his house and is being forced to sell, and his support system is much smaller than it was in the past due to family / friend deaths, etc (so basically his only true close network is now all the way in Italy).

While I don't have a crystal ball, past behavior is typically a good indicator of future behavior. And if last time was hell, I can only begin to imagine what this time will be like as this time #1, the blow will be much harder and #2, his mental state is worse and his support resources are significantly smaller. Basically, right now, he has literally nothing to lose.

So, I'm bracing for the impending storm, and hoping for the best.

[SunnyTXsmile]

Originally Posted by Litlove71

I had an ex that stalked me for a dozen years...

Pay special attention to dates that may trigger him. Holidays, birthdays, your anniversary, etc. When in doubt, go visit friends or relatives out of town. your possessions are replaceable, you're not.

If he calls you and claims to be coming for you, don't panic and try and leave. Call the police. He's probably already outside.

You may want to consider replacing your car. Always have a cell charger in your car.

Make sure you know all the local police and fire stations, and drive straight there if you see him following you. It was much more dangerous when I was out in public then when I was at home...

Don't communicate with him for any reason. The best response is no response. Make sure your family and friends don't pass info along about you.

Rent a granny flat on a gated property if possible. It won't necessarily be more expensive (at least in certain areas) and it'll be much more difficult for him to blend into the community.

If he has done or does anything that you feel justifies a restraining order, file asap. Yes, it will **** him off, but the cops will take you more seriously if you require their help.

Good luck!

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this, too. Thank you for the tips. What's a granny flat?

[SunnyTXsmile]

Originally Posted by pacific2

Sorry to hear about the ex from hell. Here are a few suggestions:

1. I second what Fontucky said about the little clamps. They are inexpensive and can easily be found at Home Depot or Lowes. Put them on your windows and at your patio door. You can also purchase portable little alarm devices to place at your door and windows.
2. Give the landlord explicit written instructions that no one else is to ever have a key to your apartment, or enter the premises without your written permission.
3. Move to a dog-friendly complex and get a big dog. Unfortunately, not very many of them accept German Shepherds. They're loyal and scare the sheet out of potential evildoers.
4. Make friends with your neighbors. Maybe some will work at home. They'll let you know if a stalker comes around when you are away.
5. Don't hesitate to call the cops if the numbskull makes harassing phone calls, sends threatening letters, or appears uninvited on your doorstep. I think OC (and probably other CA areas) has a category for this called "Terrorist Threats."
6. There's the obvious of not listing your phone number.
7. You might want to try a company which claims it can clear information about you from the internet. Otherwise, a simple check could lead the loon straight to your doorstep.
8. Keep a radio playing while you are away to give the appearance of the place being occupied.
9. Place some sort of valuable item ( maybe a ten dollar bill) inside in a spot near the entry. If it has been moved, then you'll know that someone has been in your place.
10. Never open the door to uninvited guests, either male or female. If they weren't courteous enough to call you in advance, then they can stand out there until hell freezes over.

There are so many gems of information in this post, and every post on this thread. Thank you!!!

I'm not sure that my old town has anything like what OC does regarding "Terrorist Threats." That's great area-specific info (along with all the other amazing info). Thanks so much!!!! Googling this, for sure!

Anyone else that has tips or even info about CA laws that might work in my benefit, do share. In my old state, I was basically told by a cop that had come to the house (to remove an ex that had broken into my home to wait for me) that a restraining order wouldn't do much good because by the time he's already broken the order and I call to alert the police that he's broken the order, it's already too late because the ex is already in my home. Pretty disconcerting coming from the mouth of the cop that's suppose to be protecting you. :\

I'm googling, but does anyone know of any CA laws, etc. that might benefit me? Sometimes they are hidden, and my only cop friends are not CA cops, so their knowledge wouldn't help me much.

[1200RT]

422cpc.

It's CA Penal Code, not a local law.


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