Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The call I got, was about my dad. Prostate cancer. Radiation. Good prognosis. I cried...for days. He's 80 years old, he's too old and frail and out of shape (he's inactive) to be able to handle radiation. But - he handled it. He has a bad leg, bad feet, bad hips, bad back - all due to inactivity and lousy dietary habits. So he hobbled his way to radiation from the medical center's parking lot every day for 40 days.
He's doing great now, the cancer is gone, and he's able to do physical therapy now for the rest of his "I'm an old man, that's my excuse" problems.
Now it's my mother's turn. Something about bad cells that can simulate anemia, and they just want to watch and see. I can't remember what it's called but I looked it up and the prognosis was deplorable. I don't think I can handle going through the emotional rollercoaster of worry again. This is just weeks after dad called to say he's okay. I feel like I need to become numb to it all, to protect myself against breaking down at work and sobbing in front of the customers.
I used to be my parent's little girl. Now I'm an adult, waiting for "THE call" asking me to fly down to their home to say goodbye to them. This stuff isn't in the "growing up" instruction manual, and I can't find the help-file. All I can do is distance myself emotionally, or else I'll be a total blubbering mess.
They're not going anywhere yet - they'll probably outlive me. It's the constant up and down of "I have cancer" "Hey I'm all better" "But your mom now has cancer" "now she's better but my legs aren't holding me up anymore" "Hey my legs are doing much better but your mom's sciatica has been acting up and she can barely get out of bed" "Mom's up and out at the casino right now, I'm in bed nursing another backache and the doctor thinks there might be a tumor there"...
I need for one of them to be well enough to take care of the other, because *I* can't go down there to take care of either of them. All I can do is be here, worried sick about the call I know will some day come. It might not be today, it might not be this year - and it might not even be this decade. But the way they're both constantly at doctors and throwing around the "blahblah-noma" words all the time, it's making me crazy. Every time the phone rings I wonder who has which kind of cancer this time.
They're not going anywhere yet - they'll probably outlive me. It's the constant up and down of "I have cancer" "Hey I'm all better" "But your mom now has cancer" "now she's better but my legs aren't holding me up anymore" "Hey my legs are doing much better but your mom's sciatica has been acting up and she can barely get out of bed" "Mom's up and out at the casino right now, I'm in bed nursing another backache and the doctor thinks there might be a tumor there"...
You know Anon, when the good Lord handed out sensitivity genes, you must have somehow got missed. Did it never occur to you that your posts might have gotten a better reception over on the caregiver forum rather than the cancer forum where you're complaining about the inconvenience of your parents' cancer? We are here b/c we have or have had cancer and I for one am sorry if my cancer inconveniences anyone.
You can thank your lucky stars that you have lovable parents and they're still with you. My folks are both gone and they weren't exactly teddy bears, though I was there for them at the end. People get old or they die young. Them's the facts of life.
The call I got, was about my dad. Prostate cancer. Radiation. Good prognosis. I cried...for days. He's 80 years old, he's too old and frail and out of shape (he's inactive) to be able to handle radiation. But - he handled it. He has a bad leg, bad feet, bad hips, bad back - all due to inactivity and lousy dietary habits. So he hobbled his way to radiation from the medical center's parking lot every day for 40 days.
He's doing great now, the cancer is gone, and he's able to do physical therapy now for the rest of his "I'm an old man, that's my excuse" problems.
Now it's my mother's turn. Something about bad cells that can simulate anemia, and they just want to watch and see. I can't remember what it's called but I looked it up and the prognosis was deplorable. I don't think I can handle going through the emotional rollercoaster of worry again. This is just weeks after dad called to say he's okay. I feel like I need to become numb to it all, to protect myself against breaking down at work and sobbing in front of the customers.
I used to be my parent's little girl. Now I'm an adult, waiting for "THE call" asking me to fly down to their home to say goodbye to them. This stuff isn't in the "growing up" instruction manual, and I can't find the help-file. All I can do is distance myself emotionally, or else I'll be a total blubbering mess.
I am sure my kids are saying the same thing: hubby went through the 40 day radiation bit last year (actually in his case it was 44) he did fine. I am sure our kids are saying, wow, now it is our turn to take care of mom and dad. Thank goodness one of our 3 does live about 4 miles from us. Yes, we have started depending on her more and more all the time.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
