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I want to maximize finite time with this family member and have as much quality time together as possible. It would be nice to take this family member to places I now will be enjoyed like the ocean side, and to see one of her children and grand children out of state, having never visited them since they moved out there nearly 3 years ago now. Would also be nice to also take her to her to visit her other family and friends. I think there is more urgency now with the stage 4 diagnosis and confirmed metastasis to seize the moment while there is no pain, good mobility and etc. The oncologist wants to try immunotherapy (Keytruda) and not dual immunotherapies, or immuno+chemo, or chemo just yet, as they're more toxic or have more severe side effects and we want to make sure to have a certain level of quality of life. If the immunotherapy works with no major side effects, we still don't know for how long it'll be effective. And should it lose effectiveness, things would move to more toxic options which may impact quality of life and mobility.
My options seem to be: (1) using up my vacation time (I have 2 weeks worth only), (2) taking FMLA (not sure if I qualify to use it if the family member isn't hospitalized, bed-ridden or exhibiting other symptoms at this time), (3) quit my job to free up 6 months or so to take the loved one to the aforementioned places and spend more quality time together while it's still possible. I don't know what the future holds and that's what's driving these considerations.
My job is a state job I got 3 years ago. I start getting vested in the pension in another 20 months. I'm told if I were to leave the job and get another state job down the road, I would pick up where I left off in credit towards vesting in the pension and I would also retain my current pension accrual rate, etc. So if I were to pursue option #3 above, I could take 6 months or so to do all of the aforementioned, while still applying for other jobs, and hope that I am able to get another state job within a reasonable amount of time to pick up where I left off. The reason for not looking to return to the current place of work is that it's dysfunctional and toxic (and has that reputation in other departments). I'm not satisfied or happy with what goes on there and think this would be a good time to take a rare break of 6 months, maximize that time with the family member, reset myself and get hired at another department with the state.
I have never ever left a job without having another lined up, except maybe in high school or college. I am generally more conservative when it comes to things like this but don't want to have any regrets about not seizing this period of time given the circumstances. The last resort would be to quit my current job and take 6 months or so off (while looking for another state job of course), and I'd prefer to use FMLA (I believe you get 12 weeks of it per year).
Given my situation, could I qualify for using FMLA?
I want to maximize finite time with this family member and have as much quality time together as possible. It would be nice to take this family member to places I now will be enjoyed like the ocean side, and to see one of her children and grand children out of state, having never visited them since they moved out there nearly 3 years ago now. Would also be nice to also take her to her to visit her other family and friends....
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Given my situation, could I qualify for using FMLA?
Well, the first question is whether this family member is an immediate family member (spouse* or parent*), because if not, then FMLA does not apply.
I want to maximize finite time with this family member and have as much quality time together as possible. It would be nice to take this family member to places I now will be enjoyed like the ocean side, and to see one of her children and grand children out of state, having never visited them since they moved out there nearly 3 years ago now. Would also be nice to also take her to her to visit her other family and friends. I think there is more urgency now with the stage 4 diagnosis and confirmed metastasis to seize the moment while there is no pain, good mobility and etc. The oncologist wants to try immunotherapy (Keytruda) and not dual immunotherapies, or immuno+chemo, or chemo just yet, as they're more toxic or have more severe side effects and we want to make sure to have a certain level of quality of life. If the immunotherapy works with no major side effects, we still don't know for how long it'll be effective. And should it lose effectiveness, things would move to more toxic options which may impact quality of life and mobility.
My options seem to be: (1) using up my vacation time (I have 2 weeks worth only), (2) taking FMLA (not sure if I qualify to use it if the family member isn't hospitalized, bed-ridden or exhibiting other symptoms at this time), (3) quit my job to free up 6 months or so to take the loved one to the aforementioned places and spend more quality time together while it's still possible. I don't know what the future holds and that's what's driving these considerations.
My job is a state job I got 3 years ago. I start getting vested in the pension in another 20 months. I'm told if I were to leave the job and get another state job down the road, I would pick up where I left off in credit towards vesting in the pension and I would also retain my current pension accrual rate, etc. So if I were to pursue option #3 above, I could take 6 months or so to do all of the aforementioned, while still applying for other jobs, and hope that I am able to get another state job within a reasonable amount of time to pick up where I left off. The reason for not looking to return to the current place of work is that it's dysfunctional and toxic (and has that reputation in other departments). I'm not satisfied or happy with what goes on there and think this would be a good time to take a rare break of 6 months, maximize that time with the family member, reset myself and get hired at another department with the state.
I have never ever left a job without having another lined up, except maybe in high school or college. I am generally more conservative when it comes to things like this but don't want to have any regrets about not seizing this period of time given the circumstances. The last resort would be to quit my current job and take 6 months or so off (while looking for another state job of course), and I'd prefer to use FMLA (I believe you get 12 weeks of it per year).
Given my situation, could I qualify for using FMLA?
Be careful. Here is the federal guide for using FMLA. Just wanting to spend time with your relative doesn't really meet the criteria. It is more specific than that. The intent isn't to provide a way to "seize the time". You also realize that FMLA isn't paid leave, right?
Anecdote: when my father was in decline and needed more and more support I spent more and more time traveling to another state to assist with finances, help around the house, and yes, spending time with him. He did not need my direct medical care or transportation to medical treatment or appointments. FMLA did not apply. I quickly used up all my paid leave and eventually had to handle pay reductions due to fewer hours worked.
Last edited by Parnassia; 03-11-2019 at 02:43 PM..
I don't plan to use FMLA unless it applies to my situation, and it appears that it doesn't. I don't know what other option I have. Not sure I will be permitted to take extended unpaid time off since there's no urgency involved. It may leave me with a choice of whether to stay at the job or leave it if I can get by for say 1 year without work.
I don't plan to use FMLA unless it applies to my situation, and it appears that it doesn't. I don't know what other option I have. Not sure I will be permitted to take extended unpaid time off since there's no urgency involved. It may leave me with a choice of whether to stay at the job or leave it if I can get by for say 1 year without work.
Families have to face this all the time. It is the sticky wicket no formalized leave program deals with. Discuss alternative ways to work with your employer. Once you know more and can explain what may be coming they may be willing to accommodate you in another way. Could you work remotely, less than full time or work sharing with a pay cut? What about broaching the idea of a leave of absence?
It really depends on your family member's oncologist etc. on whether you can use FMLA for your situation. I would think if they were Stage IV, as my wife is and not under hospice care,you still could get an FMLA completed and approved by a physican. I was able to get an FMLA that was "permanent" basically saying I was eligible to use FMLA either intermittently as needed OR fulltime whenever I felt the need to provide support on a fulltime basis for my spouse.
In my case, I work for a community college, I can start my FMLA anytime but I must use all paid leave first (sick, vacation, etc.) before I can start any upaid time off. It does not matter what the FMLA issue is I have to do all paid leave before any FMLA unpaid in all situations. Paid FMLA first then unpaid next. It probably depends on how your employer handles it.
Thanks for your replies. Ideally I wouldn't have to discuss the details with my supervisor because I'd like to maintain some level of privacy. Given what I know about our current workplace, word gets around quick and quite frankly our supervisor isn't known to be tight lipped. But if it's what I have to do, then it's what I have to do. I will talk to someone in the personnel office and see what my options are and how to best approach this while retaining some degree of privacy.
It's not possible for me to work remotely due to the nature of my job, unless they assign me other tasks that aren't what I primarily do on a day-to-day basis, which can be done at home. But at this time, the family member, while stage iv, is still not experiencing pain and is mobile with a pretty good quality of life. What I am wanting to do is to make the most of this time and do some things together that we may not have the chance to do down the road. It's hard to put a price on that and looking back I don't want to have any regrets on that front. Even though I am single with no kids or other obligations, it's not easy to voluntarily leave a stable and good paying state job though, as it would put a freeze on my total time served towards my pension until I were to return to state service. I'd also end up having to cover health insurance for myself for the duration of time that I am not working. Although I believe I can find another state job later, there are never any guarantees.
I'll check with personnel and the CalPERS to get more information on my options and ramifications of leaving before I decide what would be the best course of action. As someone mentioned, maybe I could look at a pay cut/reduced hours, or something else. As another mentioned, I could check with the oncologist to see under what conditions they'd be able to approve an FMLA request form.
Thanks for your replies. Ideally I wouldn't have to discuss the details with my supervisor because I'd like to maintain some level of privacy. Given what I know about our current workplace, word gets around quick and quite frankly our supervisor isn't known to be tight lipped. But if it's what I have to do, then it's what I have to do. I will talk to someone in the personnel office and see what my options are and how to best approach this while retaining some degree of privacy.
It's not possible for me to work remotely due to the nature of my job, unless they assign me other tasks that aren't what I primarily do on a day-to-day basis, which can be done at home. But at this time, the family member, while stage iv, is still not experiencing pain and is mobile with a pretty good quality of life. What I am wanting to do is to make the most of this time and do some things together that we may not have the chance to do down the road. It's hard to put a price on that and looking back I don't want to have any regrets on that front. It's not easy to voluntarily leave a stable and good paying state job though, as it would put a freeze on the growth of my pension until I were to return to state service. I'd also end up having to cover health insurance for myself for the duration of time that I am not working. Although I believe I can find another state job later, there are never any guarantees.
I'll check with personnel and the CalPERS to get more information on my options and ramifications of leaving before I decide what would be the best course of action. As someone mentioned, maybe I could look at a pay cut/reduced hours, or something else. As another mentioned, I could check with the oncologist to see under what conditions they'd be able to approve an FMLA request form.
Since you haven't described your relationship with this family member.. I have to assume it's VERY important you spend some quality time with them. Doe you have a similar relationship with their closer family members?
I as a HC giver ( retired) and experienced my own family members dealing with Cancer.. Know intimately how it can affect you!
I have zero understanding of your particular workplace attitudes and your standing within it.. But I have experienced a lot of latitude given to employee's in some places (at least up here) that extend lenience when it comes to crisis within Family ( wether direct or CLOSE)!!
Wish you luck.. and take advantage of keeping updated with you affected loved one and whomever is closest them them!!
Since you haven't described your relationship with this family member.. I have to assume it's VERY important you spend some quality time with them. Doe you have a similar relationship with their closer family members?
I as a HC giver ( retired) and experienced my own family members dealing with Cancer.. Know intimately how it can affect you!
I have zero understanding of your particular workplace attitudes and your standing within it.. But I have experienced a lot of latitude given to employee's in some places (at least up here) that extend lenience when it comes to crisis within Family ( wether direct or CLOSE)!!
Wish you luck.. and take advantage of keeping updated with you affected loved one and whomever is closest them them!!
Thanks for sharing and I appreciate your reply. Since there isn't an emergency right now (no pain, fatigue or anything currently, plus completely mobile), aside from an urgency that I personally feel. So I'm not sure what kind of accommodation they can make for me at work. But I will look into it further.
I would check the HR manual about an unpaid leave of absence. Are you in a union?
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