Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Problem solved. Never talk to him again. You and your other friends can form your own grief group. You said that the widower was awkward and not socially adept even without this stress. He apparently is trying to deal with his grief in his own way, without his late wife's friends. And that's OK.
Maybe he'll never say thank you. And that's OK. You're not friends. Move on. Being angry that you weren't thanked for your cash contribution does no honor to your friend. You made a contribution to help your friend. That is the important "take away" here.
My best friend suffered last year with cancer. Finally, her sons took her to their city and it was difficult to get information about her condition or even be able to talk to her. A few weeks later, she died the end of February, just before the lock downs. When her sons came to clean out the house, they would tell my DH how much she and they appreciated all I had done for her. I miss her companionship so very much and as the lock downs drag on I am painfully aware of how much she meant to me. The sting of the way her sons behaved just added another twist to a painful time. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for those who lost friends/family because of that foreign virus this year. I do wish families would remember that some friends are just not casual and also mourning the lost companionship.
First off I am so sorry to read this story. While I agree you should give the husband a pass I think the criticism received for the OP was unfair. She was a big part of this, it's understandable that she would be hurt by the lack of info from the husband. But again it's his time to grieve.
Actually, we (her friends) are kind of upset with her husband. We donated thousands to her gofundme and never even got a "thank you" from him. When she died, we all found out because her sister posted it on social media. Her husband didn't even tell us or contact us. We messaged him expressing our condolences and offer support, and were only met with silence. We asked about a funeral or wake and were met with silence. We then find out through the sister that our friend's remains were cremated. (The sister doesn't even live in the US, btw.)
I get that the husband is grieving but seriously, so are we. He could have at least thanked us or said something. He was always one of those awkward introverts.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'd be upset too. When my dad passed I answered everyone. No way I wouldn't if I read them. Who knows, maybe he hasn't read them? Maybe he'll surprise everyone and reply eventually.
Wonder what he did with the go fund me money if it was thousands because cremation isn't that expensive, under $2,000 if I remember right.
From what you said there daughter was at the grandparents so it's not like he's caring for their child.
Maybe he's a mess, maybe he's not. Maybe ask the sister how he's doing?
My friend has cancer and I don't know what to do...
... I am going through a whole range of emotions right now.
There is not very much that you can do.
We discovered that I had cancer in 2014. Core samples of it proved that it was a fast-growing aggressive variety of cancer, so I immediately went through surgery to have it removed.
Then four years later cancer returned. This time I went through hormone therapy [2 years] and radiation [1 year].
My emotions have been out of control through this process. There is very little that anyone else can do, heck there is little that I can do.
Just be a friend.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
