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So here it is, I take care of my 86 year old grandmother, wonderful woman. She was born very poor in the days before the great depression and went on to graduate college with a very respected degree, start her own business raise a family and made lots of money in real estate and the stock market.
She's getting feeble minded, nothing real bad, she's 86 years old so I believe she has a right to forget things. We take care of her 24 hrs a day. She knows where she is, who she is and usually has a pretty good idea what day it is. She still has some wits about her.
So we help her, she has full time caregiver and all her needs are met. She still tries her best to manage her finances, but we help her. It's sort of a family thing, as in it's a family business. There are taxes and things, dividends, checks to be written, bills to be paid. Grandma is old fashion to boot, she loves cash and has to have a good amount on her at all times. I am being purposely vague because the details are no one's business which brings me to my point.
I've been taking her to the bank to do her business for years. They know us. Recently they got some new tellers and I guess a new manager. Sometimes grandma gets to the counter to write a check and she has to ask me who it was too and how much.
So normally I like to just go to the ATM for her. She does not have to get out of the car even.
During a visit to the bank to deposit a check the teller called her manager and they took grandma into a room by herself.
The gig is they ended up calling the State I guess this is adult protective services. They are investigating for exploitation. Mind you it does not seem to make a difference to them that grandma tells them she told me to get the money and that everything is ok.
Somehow the State knows her account info which is a gross violation of rights in my opinion. I mean it's none of their business really. I thought they'd just investigate and see that things are ok. Social Services are not good people, they are evil doers who will take guardianship of your loved ones so they themselves can access their finances.
I have no idea what they can or can't do, I never even knew that anyone could call and make an accusation.
So we will maybe hire a lawyer and be changing bank accounts. If were just the incident I would forgive it as I think the bank probably had some good intention.
It's not even that much money, I sit and wonder, if they only knew. It's none of their business though, this is family business and we handle family business inside the family.
I was sort of on the fence about Obamacare now I'm dead set against it, you give the state a little leverage and they will take a mile.
I don't mean to make this a political rant, and half the people on this forum have selective reading and wont even really correctly respond to what I am saying.
For the other half of you, anyone ever heard of this?
All they have managed to accomplish is stressing Grandma out.
What you should have done is have your name(or another family member) added to the account, so there is no questions involved. It actually would have been better to have it done when you had familiar faces working in the bank.
While fraud and taking care of the elderly is a sad fact, in your case you got an overzealous teller who caused a problem for you, but use it as a wake up call.
If your grandmother were to pass and only her name is on the account, than what? Someone else in the family(and it sounds like that would be you) should have their name on the account as well.
Others are right. My mom put me on her account so we wouldn't have any problems. I actually like what you posted, as it shows they're looking out for the elderly. Try and see it from their point of view. Say it was a bad family member taking grandma to the bank, wouldn't you be glad they were keeping an eye out for her?
I hear what you all are saying and it is right. My aunt's name is on the account but they had a falling out which is sort of how I came into the situation.
I understand the bank may have had good intentions.
I may be overreacting and this is not a big deal. I'm not sure I am comfortable with state workers being able to look at peoples financial information though. That is a violation of trust with the bank.
We had even gone as far as to start the proceedings to legally name me as guardian. She's just not ready for that yet and once to stay in control of things as long as she has her mind about her. I think she has that right.
Others are right. My mom put me on her account so we wouldn't have any problems. I actually like what you posted, as it shows they're looking out for the elderly. Try and see it from their point of view. Say it was a bad family member taking grandma to the bank, wouldn't you be glad they were keeping an eye out for her?
I agree. Something similar happened when a younger neighbor (no relation) drove my mom to the bank and Mom took out a fairly large amount of cash to pay off some bills. Nothing was "fishy" about the situation and Mom/we were actually pretty glad that the teller called over a manager to check it out. They were definitely keeping their eye open for "suspicious situations".
IIRC, my elderly father was questioned by the bank when he wanted to add my sister's name to his account. She was thankful the bank did this and so were the rest of his children. One "bad" relative could have wiped out one of my father's (substantial) accounts.
OTOH, I felt sorry for my father's financial advisor. Apparently the advisor was moving a large account, with my father's prior consent, to a new account set up by the advisor. According to my father, when the custodian of the "former" account made a 3 way call to my father to confirm the transaction, my father stated he didn't want the money moved. When I asked my father whether he informed the callers that he had originally authorized the transaction but changed his mind, he said "no".
We were in our local bank a few months ago and overheard a teller questioning an elderly man who was coming into the bank every day to cash a check for someone taking care of his yard. The teller refused to let the gentleman cash a check and called in the police. The teller knew the person who was getting money from the older man and knew he was up to no good. I like that!
We had even gone as far as to start the proceedings to legally name me as guardian. She's just not ready for that yet and once to stay in control of things as long as she has her mind about her. I think she has that right.
That's a drastic step. It's not her choice whether or not to name a guardian. First she has to be declared legally incompetent. The guardian appointed by the court will be responsible for all her living arrangements and daily activities and medical decisions as well as finances.
The court monitors the guardianship. If you're uncomfortable with the bank's intervention, you would NOT like serving as guardian.
SD is correct. If you are going to do bank transactions for Grandma, you need to have your name put on the account. If Grandma doesn't want your aunt's name on the account, then she should have her name taken off.
Your grandma will most likely continue to lose cognitive function as she continues to get older. Having your name on the account allows you to pay bills in her name. And you need to have your grandma sign a legal document giving you power of attorney. You need to visit an attorney to get this, preferably an attorney specializing in elder law. While you are there, she can update or review her will, and fill out a health care durable power of attorney.
All of this is very normal for caregivers to have. Please do so for the sake of your grandma's care. Guardianship is probably not necessary in this case.
The bank was doing due diligence on behalf of your grandmother. I have a family member who works in a bank, and I understand what you described is pretty typical. Although. I am surprise that you were arrested.
Now you know.
And by the way, you can pay bills online. Very easy for caregivers.
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