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I have been the sole care giver for my step dad who is on hospice since April. Some days it can be so overwhelming. He has COPD and CHF. In mid July I am moving him to my house 500 hundred miles from his house. Honestly I am hoping he passes before we make the move. He is getting weaker. He really eats almost nothing anymore. His fluid intake is much less than it was even a week ago. I can hear in his voice how much weaker it is. He is not bed bound but getting closer.
This whole year has been hard. My mom was diagnosed with cancer in January and she passed away in April. My step dad has been on hospice since February. My husband and 11 year old are holding down the home fort while I have been here. The good thing about being here is my grown kids live here so I get to see them more often. My daughter is pregnant so I have been able to be more involved with that and taking the other kids to the park and pool once in awhile. We have hospice coming in 5 days a week and they are a God send. I can only hope the hospice in my town will be as good. I really think once he passes I will feel a huge relief. Maybe then I can grieve for my mom.
The job of caregiver is one of the most difficult jobs in my life. Your patient will pass soon. The move will not be easy. Focus on how to handle the various emergencies that may arise on such a trip to avoid further stress and drama.
Are you driving?
Regardless of how you're going, make sure you keep the yellow DNR notice immediately available during the trip.
I will assume you know everything else you'll need to do in order to transport him, if indeed, you are the one doing so.
If he is going by medical transport, don't forget to give the crew the paper.
This may sound cold to some but it's sheer practicality. Don't ask me how I know
Thank you for the advice. I didn't even think of that. Yes I am transporting him providing his health even holds out that long. His lungs have some fluid on them now that wasn't there on Sunday when the nurse checked him. His bladder has quit working so they cath'd him today. Still no food and very little fluids going in. He is ready to die which is huge compared to just a few weeks ago. He has fought long and hard against dying. He gets confused rather easy and has asked me to call his siblings. We set a Skype up for Monday since they all live far away from him. I just have to come somewhere and get all this out. Thanks for reading.
So sorry for the recent loss of your Mom and all that you are going through with your step dad . He is fortunate to have you with him during this time. It does sound like the 'end' is nearing. The signs are there. Prayers that he passes peacefully and that you have the strength to get through it all !
It sounds like he is dying. My sympathies to you. Can your husband come for awhile to be with you, with your son? Or is it too hard for them? I don't know about moving an obviously dying man. It would be different if he rallies. But as he is declining, I suspect his time is short. What do the hospice people say? Many times they can see the signs.
I am sorry for the loss of your mom. I admire your care of your step father. May his passing be peaceful.
Well as it stands now he is actively dying. So we won't be going anywhere. Chances are he won't even be here by this time next week. I know it sounds mean but it is a relief. I came here for my mom. I loved her so much and she was my best friend. I stayed here because it was the right thing to do. My step dad has done some pretty awful things in his life time and I am not terribly close to him. But I would never abandon him. I promised my mom I would care for him. He is off his oxygen and can no longer swallow his meds now. I can still get him to take small sips of water. I keep him sedated with morphine because he gets so combative and agitated when he isn't. His BP this morning was 178/78 this morning after being 106/70 the day before. His o2 stats are now 81%.
The end is in sight and I will be going home soon. My husband will come as soon as I call to let him know he has passed. My daughter is here in town and hospice is here so I won't be alone. I will just have to finish off with the funeral, close his bank account, make sure there is yard service for the rest of the summer and deal with the utilities. There is a plan in place for his house. It will be strange coming back to this city later in the year when my daughter has her baby and I won't be coming to my mom's house to see her. Maybe I will finally be able to grieve for my mother.
I hope these last days will be OK. Yes, you want to grieve for your mom, but it is good there is a plan for the house, and that you can see a path ahead.
I'm glad you were spared the difficulties of the trip and perhaps having had to deal with this enroute. My husband was in much better condition and still didn't survive the trip and everything was much more traumatic that way.
You've done well and I hope you can get back home to your family and your life quickly.
He passed away this morning after a restful night. I am blessed that both of my parents were in no pain and were able to leave this world in a peaceful way. It has been an emotional day for me. My husband should be here in about 6 more hours. It will be so strange coming back to this town and not seeing my mom and my step dad,
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