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Placing an elderly person in any place is wrong. People have the right to die at home, and to die alone. What you need to know is that if she wants to come home or not. I really hate those places. I know your pain OP. I have one too, keeps saying that I took the same money I gave em. Even went behind my back to cash some money into a check, and then accuse me of losing the check. I hate it, I hate it so much, it drives me crazy. Everytime I talk to them, they expect me to apologuise and return their money to them, when I never did anything at all to them.
We are getting an Aide to do things with em. I want them to have their privacy, as well as somebody who is not me to do their dirty work. It sucks the living life force out of me, but I still deal with it.
If my children, or grand children ever try to forge my signature to get my inheritance, I will beat the living daylights out of them, and if they call the police, I will have them taken away, because it is my residency. Lucky for my Grandparent, they have a base, a place which is pre-paid for years to come, and the medical center is in walking distance.
What really hurts is when you help them, it makes them more forgetful, and they refuse to help themselves. Usually when you do serve them, is what makes them weaker, and more senile. Even if it is the right thing to do.
Elderly people are just like you and me, but we think they are weaklings. They might not be able to defend themselves like a cat, or martial artist, but they have all the rights everybody else has.
As your loved ones dementia progresses I wonder if you will continue to feel the same way.
It is not wrong to seek a place for a loved one to go to keep them safe and cared for. People, especially ones with dementia get to the point they can not live alone in their home any longer. Not everyone can afford in home care. Not everyone has a home set up that is safe for the elderly.
What happens when ur grandparent can no longv walk to the medical center? What happens when they can no longer remember to take their meds or take them to much? What about when they have set the kit stove on fire for the 3rd time in a month? What about what happens when one of the neighbors has found them wandering the neighborhood in nothing but socks and underwear at 3 am? Should they still live in their home alone cause that is what they want?
Also placing someone in a home and someone forging a signature to steal money are 2 totally and completly different things and one does not mean the other one is occurring
Mugsy, please don't take what your grandmother says to heart. My mother, who also had dementia, would say terrible things to me. It hurt but I knew it was her illness talking. If you feel like visiting her, do it. If you don't, it's okay that you don't. She won't know whether you've been there or not. Alzheimer's and dementia in any form is an awful thing for people to have. However, I believe it's harder on the families than the person experiencing it. I used to say my mom was happy in her dementia. Her world was happy and without conflict. I was the one who struggled with it. I wish you peace, Mugsy.
I did visit my Grandma on the 1st of July, and she did not even know it was me.
I brought her some candy and a lavender mint pillow she used to love when she lived with us.
I mainly asked her caregiver questions, and checked out her room.
She is 96 and the staff is doing a great job, I am very happy I finally went to see her! She is on No medications! Wow! Just 1 rx that is as needed for anxiety. She is deaf and uses a cane for her hip which she broke in 2011.
She is only 4 miles from my home, but she can have a hot temper...if anyone wants, I will post her videos; she is on you tube.
I work outdoors and am in the sun sometimes. I got hyponatremia the day I was to visit Grandma on June 23.
Now I drink electrolytes and sodium daily (Pedialite and EmergenC) for the blood. Water as well but not so much, but the emergenc is added to water. I bought it at a health food store.
I also am on a reduced sodium diet and I am in ketosis (losing weight) I need to lose 45 lbs. I bought a blood pressure monitor and check it 2 times per day, and I am eating better. My blood pressure ranges from 110/65 to 135/85 which is the NEW normal (120/80 was the OLD normal).
I see a new Dr in 2 weeks who specialized in Blood Pressure and I am going to see if I can go on a different medication that has less side effects. I feel weak, dizzy and fatigue on this med and the heat amplifies the side effects. I also am perimenopausal. I am also going to see if the Dr can figure out if I even need to be on Blood Pressure meds. My last Dr visit was on the 30th of June for a blood pressure check, and it was 110/70.
I am very grateful that my Grandma is in a reputable home... but I need to remember that I must be a hands on caregiver, because it really never ends.
I HATE confrontation, but I also know I need to visit her to make sure she is ok.
Two wonderful, important points. No matter how wonderful the home where she is, having a presence and monitoring is so important: if there's something amiss, you'll be relieved you know so you can correct it; if everything is perfect, you'll be so comforted.
I cared for my mom with Alzheimer's first in my own home, then on a bi-coastal basis (renting a place on the opposite coast to be a presence at the ALF my father was on the original Board of Directors for). It was one of the best, private pay only, but there were still constant things that frustrated me, and that I had to pay attention to. It was owned by a local hospital (not a large system) in a small town, so while corporate, could have been far (far) worse. I fully understand your placement choice, and she (and you) are fortunate to have found such an excellent home.
Oh - I wanted to watch the videos but when I click on them it says they're private ....
Two wonderful, important points. No matter how wonderful the home where she is, having a presence and monitoring is so important: if there's something amiss, you'll be relieved you know so you can correct it; if everything is perfect, you'll be so comforted.
I cared for my mom with Alzheimer's first in my own home, then on a bi-coastal basis (renting a place on the opposite coast to be a presence at the ALF my father was on the original Board of Directors for). It was one of the best, private pay only, but there were still constant things that frustrated me, and that I had to pay attention to. It was owned by a local hospital (not a large system) in a small town, so while corporate, could have been far (far) worse. I fully understand your placement choice, and she (and you) are fortunate to have found such an excellent home.
Oh - I wanted to watch the videos but when I click on them it says they're private ....
I put them to public so they should work now
Here is one more of Grandma: ETA: These videos are from 2012, when she lived with us, she is a facility 4 miles from me and repeatedly accuses me of killing her only daughter, my Mom...you can check my youtube for videos of my Mom, her nickname was Mkat...
I did visit my Grandma on the 1st of July, and she did not even know it was me.
I brought her some candy and a lavender mint pillow she used to love when she lived with us.
I mainly asked her caregiver questions, and checked out her room.
She is 96 and the staff is doing a great job, I am very happy I finally went to see her! She is on No medications! Wow! Just 1 rx that is as needed for anxiety. She is deaf and uses a cane for her hip which she broke in 2011.
She is only 4 miles from my home, but she can have a hot temper...if anyone wants, I will post her videos; she is on you tube.
Really glad to know this all worked out. She must be one tough cookie, lol.
I hope you get your health issues under control.
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