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From what I can gather from the information provided by a variety of websites (just 2 listed below) what I do every day & have done every day for 10 years is saving the US government about $60,000 a year.
Of course, as usual, when I tried to file my taxes this year the "bottom line" equals ZERO; meaning I don't "have to" file my taxes. Because I'm a zero. And thats what SS gets every year as my contribution: ZERO.
Maybe I'm not understanding how things work but if for whatever reason I was suddenly unable to be a caregiver somebody (taxpayers) are/is going to be assuming $60,000 a year to provide for my childs care.
In the long run this isn't just MY problem because I'm not the only one "like me" out there. Everybody who is providing care (NOT as employment) is going to take it "under the belt" even if it's just starting (as in going to PT from FT or using FMLA).
How are we NOT earning our keep? If every single "informal" caregiver were to die, walk away or whatever TODAY & magically re-enter the workforce, I'm not sure that would be helping the economy out at all.
Super difficult to find any statistics either supporting or rejecting that though; thats just my thoughts/opinion.
Which is why I never (on this board or in reality) suggest anyone quit their job to caregive. It's ludicrous and you're destroying your future. Better your loved one go to a nursing home, than you destroy your own ability to survive in retirement (if you even are lucky enough to retire). I would do anything to help my dad, short of that line - because in losing those maximum earning years, you destroy your future social security benefits (not to mention the lost income in real time).
I hate to agree…but I have to.
One friend was able to find the perfect situation for her -- working from home when she moved her mom AND dad into their own universal access apt/suite in her home (built with money from selling the parent's home). And eventually she still had to have caregivers come in. And even later, have dad placed in a nursing home when his dementia progressed and changed his personality (yet he was still physically strong)
Thank God she didn't have to quit her job. Which she had said many times she WOULD do if she had to. And she would have.
Much as I had wished I were ALREADY retired so I could have taken care of my mom. At 51, I just couldn't quit my job to do it. She died when I was 54. Call me selfish, if you like. But unless that elder can leave you enough money to never have to worry about missing those earning years….it could be financial suicide to leave one's job to care for them.
I'd advise that a loved one fight like hell to get their elder -- any, all, and the best, services they qualify for, and find the best paid caregivers, seek out the best alternative options and arraignments, (and even doing all this is a PART-TIME job) -- but quit their job…..I wouldn't suggest it.
One of the saddest parts of all this unpaid caregiver stuff is nobody knows how long it will last. Some go into it thinking" He's so bad off, he can't live more than 2 years" and then he lives 15 more years and mostly due to the excellent care he got from his daughter.
And then you have the elder who tries to lay a guilt trip of a grown child who will not interrupt their career to take care of the elder. We get "I never dreamed in a million years I had raised such a selfish daughter. I always expected you to care for me like I did all those years for you." Well guess what--changing a child's diaper is a lot different from changing an adult's diaper. Lifting a young child in and out of a chair is a lot different than lifting an adult.
When it came time for me to put my mother in assisted living after living with me and my family for more than 10 years) I got "I don't care what they call it and how fancy the dining room is. It's still a gd nursing home and I refuse to go. I'll just slit my wrists right here and die in my bed." It took 4 visits during activity time and on a few field trips and meals for her to see it was not a nursing home but she bitched about it every time I went to see her for her 6 years there.
Because, that is counter to our current way of thinking in this country.
If the country heads in a more democratic socialist direction (i.e. the dread Nanny state) - then perhaps such ways of thinking will get some traction.
But at the moment, we live in a "only take care of someone if they're destitute, and only then if they're destitute for *noble* reasons, and then only offer the bare minimum to such people (because we want being poor to be miserable, else everyone will volunterily become poor)
Also, a humble suggestion that if you know someone fraudulently collecting SSDI - you report them.
As far as giving handouts to parents that keep having babies they can't afford - not sure which handout that is? EITC? I'm sure that # of children probably does make a difference to that calculation (because it's based on poverty rates and household size factors in). There's really not much in welfare programs any more (TANF is limited and has a lifetime limit of about 48 months, and requires work) - SNAP? That's food assistance, but isn't cash (and it's a very limited amount).
I think we could help family (unpaid) caregivers, I think as some of the earlier posts suggest - it would get complicated quickly. It would mean legally defining "caregiving" and there would be arguments over the definition. Mostly, I wish there was help for our loved ones requiring care (more affordable benefits available to them) - which might help to lessen the burden required of family members.
But I don't think we're anywhere close to living in such a utopian world.
Which is why I never (on this board or in reality) suggest anyone quit their job to caregive. It's ludicrous and you're destroying your future. Better your loved one go to a nursing home, than you destroy your own ability to survive in retirement (if you even are lucky enough to retire). I would do anything to help my dad, short of that line - because in losing those maximum earning years, you destroy your future social security benefits (not to mention the lost income in real time).
Really? IDK where you live, but here in CA we have people doing quite well on assistance. Why they can use EBT and get take out delivered....LOL. We get certain groups(usually Russians) who you see pull out an EBT card and drive off in a Mercedes. They know how to work the system. As do many who were born in this country.
There are tons of people who abuse the system. Tons of them. And yes, the more kids you have the more assistance you get. They may not be living like a rich person, but rest assured they have full cable and a smart phone.
I have no issue with those who really need help, getting help. But there is a lot of abuse.
I agree, no on should quit their job. But sometimes that happens, you do realize a NH even in lower COL states is at least $5K a month? That's $60K a year, that's the problem. If you're middle class or upper middle class you're in between a rock and a hard place.
I'm sure you're aware of the IRS 5 year look back? The elder can't just say I gave my house to my daughter, I gave my son what I had in savings...not that simple.
And some people won't put their parents in a NH, until they can no longer take care of them at home. It's not as simplistic as you make it sound. No one says "gee I'm 53, I think I will quit my job and just take care of mom".
It's not ideal to have your 35 year old son, his wife and 3 kids move into your house. But when he loses his job and they're going into foreclosure, well you move them in.
I'd advise that a loved one fight like hell to get their elder -- any, all, and the best, services they qualify for, and find the best paid caregivers, seek out the best alternative options and arraignments, (and even doing all this is a PART-TIME job) -- but quit their job…..I wouldn't suggest it.
What if they don't qualify for anything? Elder care is very, very expensive. The nursing home my father is in starts at $365 per day, $133,000 per year. That does not include laundry, non-routine doctor visits, meds, therapy, etc.
Since my parents were responsible and saved their $, Medicaid won't pay for all of it. Mom will lose all her savings and the house if he lives more than a few more years. What will be left for her is she outlives him? Only now that he is settled, and my mother's surgery is healed, can I think about going back to work. I still may have to hire a caregiver to help Mom, but at least it doesn't have to be 24/7 now.
The whole family caregiving system is a house of cards. It works fine in larger families who all live local and everyone can pitch in. That is very rare these days. Most people I know, including me, are "it" as far as the elders care. And what if we "go down"? My best friend is fighting cancer right now and she has these thoughts, as she is an only child and her mother has no other family.
Plus, there are some elders who flat out don't want to be cared for by their kids due to personality conflicts and the stress of that dynamic. My MIL was just talking about this the other day. I had not thought of that.
We all do the best we can but it's not a stable foundation for carer or caree.
My mom went downhill rather quickly in her final years, but no one had the luxury of quitting their job to care for her. My ex and I moved her into our home and a slew of various aids were brought in. She didn't have to suffer Obama-care, she had great coverage with the federal government retirement. We were able to get daytime help, but at night we were on our own. It was like having a newborn. At the end, she had a failing liver and Hospice was called in when the situation was labeled terminal. (What was odd, she also required dialysis, but since that was not the source of her diagnosis, Hospice continued the dialysis). Once Hospice came in it was a cross between a major relief and the feeling of isn't there a line between euthanasia and comfort?
I digressed, quitting my job was never even on the radar - at the time, I was bringing in 50% of the income. So, the sandwich generation is out there in big numbers. Only, they are too exhausted to watch the news, let alone, post on the web.
Really? IDK where you live, but here in CA we have people doing quite well on assistance. Why they can use EBT and get take out delivered....LOL. We get certain groups(usually Russians) who you see pull out an EBT card and drive off in a Mercedes. They know how to work the system. As do many who were born in this country.
There are tons of people who abuse the system. Tons of them. And yes, the more kids you have the more assistance you get. They may not be living like a rich person, but rest assured they have full cable and a smart phone.
I have no issue with those who really need help, getting help. But there is a lot of abuse.
I agree, no on should quit their job. But sometimes that happens, you do realize a NH even in lower COL states is at least $5K a month? That's $60K a year, that's the problem. If you're middle class or upper middle class you're in between a rock and a hard place.
I'm sure you're aware of the IRS 5 year look back? The elder can't just say I gave my house to my daughter, I gave my son what I had in savings...not that simple.
And some people won't put their parents in a NH, until they can no longer take care of them at home. It's not as simplistic as you make it sound. No one says "gee I'm 53, I think I will quit my job and just take care of mom".
It's not ideal to have your 35 year old son, his wife and 3 kids move into your house. But when he loses his job and they're going into foreclosure, well you move them in.
If you're quitting your job to care for your 35 year old son, his wife and 3 kids - well, that's a whole different thread topic.
For people who won't put their parents in a NH - as a person who took their parents OUT of a nursing home (because the care was sub par and it was bankrupting them) - I sympathize.
That said, I wouldn't have done it if it would have required my quitting my job - because then we'd have all been homeless and that seems as though it would have been counterproductive.
"Well dad, I kept you out of the nursing home, but now we live in a refrigerator box...."
I don't know the circumstances of those who have quit their jobs, all I know is that from a financial safety perspective it is about the worst move one could make. Much like on airlines they say "Please affix your own oxygen mask before helping others" - if you are jeopardizing your own financial health (ability to pay for shelter, ability to pay for food, ability to pay for medical insurance, etc..) just how effective a caregiver can you be?
If the cared-for has extensive assets and there is some sort of unassailable agreement in place (I quit my job to care for you, I inherit $1,000,000) then I suppose that might be workable. But, as you can never gurantee there will be an inheritance - still dicey. Because at some point the caregiving might overwhelm the home caregivers abilities, in which case any money the cared-for has (money, real estate, stocks, etc..) will go to the nursing facility. And the caregiver will again be destitute - but this time with a large gap in employment history.
This is why I never tell anyone to quit their job to caregive. It's incredibly risky.
For those that make that choice - I wish them the best. Again, I would hope that eventually (maybe not in our lifetimes) there will be more subsidized care choices available so that family members are not left with such a terrible choice to make.
If you're quitting your job to care for your 35 year old son, his wife and 3 kids - well, that's a whole different thread topic.
For people who won't put their parents in a NH - as a person who took their parents OUT of a nursing home (because the care was sub par and it was bankrupting them) - I sympathize.
That said, I wouldn't have done it if it would have required my quitting my job - because then we'd have all been homeless and that seems as though it would have been counterproductive.
"Well dad, I kept you out of the nursing home, but now we live in a refrigerator box...."
I don't know the circumstances of those who have quit their jobs, all I know is that from a financial safety perspective it is about the worst move one could make. Much like on airlines they say "Please affix your own oxygen mask before helping others" - if you are jeopardizing your own financial health (ability to pay for shelter, ability to pay for food, ability to pay for medical insurance, etc..) just how effective a caregiver can you be?
If the cared-for has extensive assets and there is some sort of unassailable agreement in place (I quit my job to care for you, I inherit $1,000,000) then I suppose that might be workable. But, as you can never gurantee there will be an inheritance - still dicey. Because at some point the caregiving might overwhelm the home caregivers abilities, in which case any money the cared-for has (money, real estate, stocks, etc..) will go to the nursing facility. And the caregiver will again be destitute - but this time with a large gap in employment history.
This is why I never tell anyone to quit their job to caregive. It's incredibly risky.
For those that make that choice - I wish them the best. Again, I would hope that eventually (maybe not in our lifetimes) there will be more subsidized care choices available so that family members are not left with such a terrible choice to make.
You totally missed my point. I was giving an example(it's not my situation). That sometimes family situations/problems are going to impact your life. Situations that come up where you have to step up to the plate and assist.
I absolutely agree with you, it's really a roll of the dice if an adult child quits their job and takes on the role of full time caregiver. But it does happen.
One of the best situations I know of(friends of the family who live back east), an elderly couple who retired to FL from NY sold their big retirement home in FL and got a one bed apt in Queens, NY. Why? Because their adult children both in their 50s and in NY told them "we can't quit our jobs and move to FL to take care of you, so you need to come back up here", and they did before health issues became a problem and they couldn't move. Both adult kids are close to retirement from long time jobs, now everyone is in close proximity.
3. Caregiving has moved from being a nursing-related profession into something that families are now expected to provide.
Does anyone remember being a kid and on Sundays the family traipsed over to the nursing home to see Grandpa? Now, only 22 percent of people being cared for live in an assisted-living center, nursing home or other living community.
After visiting some nursing homes, we won’t attempt to convince anyone that they are sterling places that will give our loved one impeccable care. But those services they those nurses and nurses aides provide? They now fall to largely untrained family caregivers ― most of whom had already full lives when the decision was made that they would become caregivers.
Family caregivers save the nation $500 billion a year.
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