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Lots of good suggestions here, OP. Maybe you could do exercises with him, a team effort and couple activity? You know what they say: "Use it or lose it". I bet a stationary recumbent bike would help keep the legs moving, too.
Also, if he has trouble standing up from the booth, it sounds like he needs more than the cane, at least--in the recovery stage. How about a collapsible walker? It really would be more stable, and therefore safer. He doesn't need to be risking yet another fall. And at least it would keep him out of the wheelchair.
What to do for fun: movies (in actual theaters). Going to the park and feeding the duckies. (This will get him walking, but also provide a good break.) Oh, yeah, and water aerobics is a great idea, as HomeIsWhere mentioned! Swimming, too, if only paddling around, or using a kickboard to give his legs more exercise.
Museum visits followed by tea/coffee nearby, perhaps your town's monthly "art walk" at the downtown galleries, if there are any. Senior center for card games or board games. (Good social opp'ty.) Going to the mall when/if they have Xmas carolers at a given hour. Check your local bookstores (the independent ones, not the chains) to see if anyone offers travel seminars or meet-the-author book readings.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 11-16-2016 at 04:00 PM..
There are smaller wheelchairs, sometimes called transit chairs, that will fold and fit into small cars. Tell him that he doesn't HAVE to stay in the chair once he's in - it's just to get him safely in and out of places. Lots of places, like move theaters, have places specificially for wheelchairs. As long as there are no steps, you can go anywhere.
If he refuses to use whatever is necessary, walker, or wheelchair when he goes out. then he doesn't deserve to go out. He can continue to be stuck at home.
My personal opinion has always been you use whatever help aide you need to to continue the life you want to live. False pride is just that, False, He needs to get over that ASAP.
You know, I thought that was kind of harsh but I realized you're right.
Our local Y has the Walk on Water program, which is popular.
One of the trainers at our gym works with a woman who is eighty years old if she is a day. He helps stabilize her so she doesn't fall while she does weight-bearing exercise. Trainers can help you get onto and off of equipment safely. Yes, it costs something but the combination of exercise with social interaction is invaluable.
He has been house bound for a year? If that is the case, this is serious issue.
Regardless, it sounds like he needs physical therapy and for home a recumbent exercise bicycle to build strength with.
It is common for those recovering from knee surgery to get the recumbent bikes & then sell them after getting back in shape. You should be able to buy a used one reasonably.
Would he use a rollator, if he is unwilling to use a walker?
Could you ask the doctor to prescribe some home physical therapy and occupational therapy visits? They may be able to try a few different mobility devices with your husband, talk with him about his goals, and help figure out a safe way to do them.
And as I'm sure you know, husbands don't like to do what their wives tell them to do. But if the doctor/PT/OT tell him to use a rollator/walker/wheelchair appropriately, sometimes that is more effective.
It seems he is too much for you to handle alone. You could bring another companion or two to help him to and from the restaurant. If you have kids, one could hold him on the side that's not holding the cane. When a potential fall is coming, both you and the companion could brace him and prevent it.
A folding (pushable) wheelchair won't fit in your SUV? Mine always had room for one - carried one around for my father for years - and it remained there all the time. Relatively speaking they are fairly inexpensive. If you can afford it, don't take it in and out of the house - just use it for outings.
If it won't fit, why don't you look into something like a bike rack that can be fitted outside the back and probably the chair could be attached to that - handy to get off (they don't weigh much) and put back on. They are easy to unfold and fold back up.
I found that (again, pushable - he didn't wheel it himself but then he didn't have 2 good arms either) very handy when Dad was having trouble walking or was in danger of falling, especially in winter.
As someone else said .. load him up and go where he wants to go. Most places are accessible these days - or should be. If it were me, I would die faster and more miserable if I had to just sit at home than if I were allowed to go more or less where I pleased even if it was a bit more trouble. The day will come when it is all just too unmanageable most likely - enjoy the time before that happens.
It seems he is too much for you to handle alone. You could bring another companion or two to help him to and from the restaurant. If you have kids, one could hold him on the side that's not holding the cane. When a potential fall is coming, both you and the companion could brace him and prevent it.
That is an excellent point. Luckily, you have a daughter and at least one teenage grandchildren who live a few miles away who could easily help you and your husband go on regular outings.
Thanks so much but ,not only will our wheelchair not fit in our SUV, he would never consider using it. Inside or out. As far as exercise, he appears to be convinced that walking to the bathroom or kitchen is all the exercise he needs. His legs are getting thinner and thinner but his top half is a 2X.
I know how he feels. I'm 58, and use a walker to get around. I have severe rheumatoid, and have had both hips replaced. Although my hips are fine, I have a lack of confidence outside without some sort of support. I am very independent by nature, but found myself relying on my husband to get around. I can drive, but couldn't get out of the car and walk around without some sort of help. Finally, one day, I decided to try a walker. I was dc from the hospital with one, but it just sat there in the house. Frankly, I didn't like it, it was too awkward, but I bought another one, the type with the seat. I was amazed at how easy it was for me to navigate with it! At least I could get to my various doctor and dental appointments without cutting into dh time!
Then, I found an even better walker, its like the one with the seat, but without a seat. I never use the seat, anyways. It folds easier, and I can lift it in and out of my car easily. Sometimes you have to try various devices until you find what works for you. I felt the "stigma", too, of using a walker, especially at my age. Although I'm 58, many say I look about 40's. Ok, but I just decided, I can sit here and stare at four walls, or find a way to get back into living. Its good for my mental health, and physically as well.
The main benefit is---I can get around in case something should happen to dh. I've found your own attitude towards living is oftentimes the most limiting factor.
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