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What good does a POA do me? My brother is competent to make his own decisions, just often unable to speak. All the Drs. offices want their own release forms. I asked one or two will a POA do and they say no. So does it do anything for me coordinating his health care?
Not all POAs are the same. And entities do not "have to" accept ANY POA, though they often will.
A general, durable POA allows the person with the POA to act in the interest of the person granting the POA EVEN IF they are not incapacitated. Not all POAs offer that level of "power."
I have a general, durable POA that I use with my mom's stuff, and I haven't run into any issues - but it could happen, who knows. So far so good though. This includes her medical teams.
With my dad, he also signed a medical directive naming me, so that was a non issue - same with my mom, by the way.
My father has been very excited to move across the country to live with me - we've been chatting and making plans almost daily. His cognitive abilities have been decaying rapidly, however. I don't want to go into specifics, but he's made a number of potentially costly and dangerous errors. Today, he informed me he had changed his mind about moving - I'm about to get on a plane to help him pack up. Coincidentally, he mentioned that his ex-girlfriend was coming over and they were going out. She's been out of the picture for ages and she just shows up now? She's also the person who convinced him not to give me power of attorney for many years - she said he shouldn't give anyone POA because it was a legally dumb move. His friends were appalled by this and spent years trying to undo the seed she planted.
He's done a ton of things that demonstrate quite clearly that he is in a severe mental decline with a few good weeks here and there of lucidity. He gave me Durable Legal Power Of Attorney a few weeks ago when he was in a lucid period. The lawyer went to his house, administered some competency tests and had him sign the paperwork.
However, he's definitely not competent all the time. He's let things slide, he shouldn't be driving and he's failing to follow up on health issues. He is also easily confused and has literally forgotten things like how many cars he has - he abandoned one car at the mechanic shop because he didn't remember he had it. Behind the wheel, he represents a very clear danger to pretty much everyone - I let his doctor know that he needed to test my father and a note was put in his file, but apparently the results were acceptable to the doctor. His best friend just confided to me that he is seriously worried about my father's mental status.
My lawyer was gone for the weekend by the time this all unfolded - so I'm turning to these boards. Any ideas? I'm worried the girlfriend will try to get him to elope or something. She's been ignoring him for years after getting bored with him, but suddenly she's right there wanting to go out to dinner and help him around the house. You know, just as I'm coming back to take him away. He's got enough savings that she'd be set pretty well in retirement on top of what she already has.
I'm kind of scared and stressed right now. This was going so smoothly, and we were both so excited about the move. Suddenly he's telling me all sorts of things about why he shouldn't move that sound like someone's been feeding him reasons. They are all things I brought up previously as things that might be problems, and he rejected them without a flick of concern. This change happened literally overnight. I don't know what to think.
POA by itself won't let you do anything (lawyers do not assess for dementia btw, so the lawyer does not know if he's in decline, it must come from a doctor...as an aside, if the lawyer felt he was lucid enough to sign a legal document, that pretty much guarantees he's not demented enough for you to take over without his permission. If he were, the POA wouldn't even count, because only mentally competent people can sign their own legal forms.
If you felt he was in danger, you'd have to apply to the court for guardianship, which would be costly, and it would only be granted if he were significantly impaired.
POA by itself won't let you do anything (lawyers do not assess for dementia btw, so the lawyer does not know if he's in decline, it must come from a doctor...as an aside, if the lawyer felt he was lucid enough to sign a legal document, that pretty much guarantees he's not demented enough for you to take over without his permission. If he were, the POA wouldn't even count, because only mentally competent people can sign their own legal forms.
If you felt he was in danger, you'd have to apply to the court for guardianship, which would be costly, and it would only be granted if he were significantly impaired.
Just wanted to point out that with a general durable POA, the person granting the POA does not have to be disabled or incapacitated in any way for the POA to be used by the person appointed. It's powers are wide and broad sweeping.
Just wanted to point out that with a general durable POA, the person granting the POA does not have to be disabled or incapacitated in any way for the POA to be used by the person appointed. It's powers are wide and broad sweeping.
She's not going to be able to use it to force him to move or anything else, I guarantee it. She will have to go to court. What do you think she can do, use it to have him forcibly removed from his house, or away from his gf, or to give up access to his funds? With no testing or diagnosis of dementia, and in sound enough mind to have signed it? It's not gonna happen. I think you're giving it more powers than it has.
I have my mothers POA, but there was no city/state service that it going to step in and force her into an ALF on my say-so.
All OP can do is call the state hotline for elders in dangerous situations, and a social worker and cops will go out. If they find him a danger to himself or others, they will pop him in a nursing home and it will be up to OP to get guardianship through a court. But simply not quite safe enough, they aren't going to become involved.
She's not going to be able to use it to force him to move or anything else, I guarantee it. She will have to go to court. What do you think she can do, use it to have him forcibly removed from his house, or away from his gf, or to give up access to his funds? With no testing or diagnosis of dementia, and in sound enough mind to have signed it? It's not gonna happen. I think you're giving it more powers than it has.
I have my mothers POA, but there was no city/state service that it going to step in and force her into an ALF on my say-so.
All OP can do is call the state hotline for elders in dangerous situations, and a social worker and cops will go out. If they find him a danger to himself or others, they will pop him in a nursing home and it will be up to OP to get guardianship through a court. But simply not quite safe enough, they aren't going to become involved.
I didn't say she could or should try to use it to "force him to move." But she can use it to legally gather information, to sign many documents, to access bank info and monitor his bank activities (for instance get copies of his bank statements) - that sort of thing.
I've been down this road with elderly parents and inlaws before. Believe me, life is easier with a general, durable POA than without one. It opens a lot of doors, whether the parent is there or not. Without having to have them declared mentally incapacitated. That was the point I was making in response to your post - nothing more. It was general information - not necessarily advice for the OP's specific situation.
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