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Thank you for sharing this article. I live in the Phoenix area, and Karina Bland is an excellent writer; have read many of her stories in the AZ Republic.
Wow. Reading that article really hit home. My husband has Lewy Body dementia, not Alzheimer's, but there are so many similarities. It is hard to be someone's sole caretaker 24/7 and have to do everything for them as you would for a one year old but never feel an ounce of appreciation. I always try to keep things in perspective and tell myself that his behavior is just the disease, nothing personal, but I do sometimes wonder. Since he never has lucid days anymore I guess I will never know.
She's wrong when she says she stayed until she couldn't leave. She could always leave. He was abusive to her for years, and she left several times. His illness is a poor excuse for her to stay in later years. I feel pity for her, but she chose her life. Her husband was indeed the mean one and he needed more help than she should be expected to give.
Sense of obligation followed by guilt is a horrible cross to bear. She felt obligated to love him and then care for him, and when she would think about leaving, her guilt would consume her. She made herself the victim.
Very sad that she didn't have enough self-confidence to leave that narcissistic SOB. He obviously chose her to begin with because he knew he could dominate her.
Very sad that she didn't have enough self-confidence to leave that narcissistic SOB. He obviously chose her to begin with because he knew he could dominate her.
Very sad that she didn't have enough self-confidence to leave that narcissistic SOB. He obviously chose her to begin with because he knew he could dominate her.
Got to agree. My sister, who just passed away unexpectedly last week, put up with the same kind of abusive behavior, and worse, from her late husband for over 35 years. I mean, the guy was plain nasty, both verbally and physically, but she took care of him until she had to put him into assisted living. She simply couldn't physically care for him at that point with his dementia and all of her own health problems. Even then she would go see him every day and do things for him, like make sure his food was pureed and take him his favorite puddings and such. My dear late Mom and I never understood why on earth she stayed with him all those years, because my sister was not uneducated and worked all that time as well.
She's wrong when she says she stayed until she couldn't leave. She could always leave. He was abusive to her for years, and she left several times. His illness is a poor excuse for her to stay in later years. I feel pity for her, but she chose her life. Her husband was indeed the mean one and he needed more help than she should be expected to give.
Sense of obligation followed by guilt is a horrible cross to bear. She felt obligated to love him and then care for him, and when she would think about leaving, her guilt would consume her. She made herself the victim.
Yup. Yup. Yup.
"Harvey says he tells her she is fat so she’ll do something about it. Darlene has diabetes and if she doesn’t take care of herself, she won’t be able to care for him. He needs her."
Nothing but a self-centered, narcissistic prick, this one.
Personally, I would have got myself and my kids gone and stayed gone years ago.
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