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Lawyers will not allow a family member or friend to be in the room while meeting with a client - obviously. The elder parent needs to speak for herself and should not under any circumstances feel influenced or afraid to speak due to the presence of a third party. The lawyer is protecting client's rights, and the feelings of the appointed power of attorney are irrelevant.
If you have personal experience with home care in Canada, you know that this service will greatly assist the sister with mom's care. If that was not your personal experience, I'm sorry to hear that. Your experience would be contrary to the norm. Clients who genuinely need home care are not upset to have a sponge bath, pedicure, hair cut, light meal preparation, laundry assistance, and other personal care in the home.
Power of attorney kicks in only after the health care team has decided that mom can no longer make decisions for herself, and funds can only be used for mom's care. It is one of the last things that happens in the process, definitely not the first.
LOL you haven't met my mom. No way would she have complied with any of this - and she would have kicked people out of her home as well (and did).
Same with my MIL. She just would not cooperate with home health care.
LOL you haven't met my mom. No way would she have complied with any of this - and she would have kicked people out of her home as well (and did).
Same with my MIL. She just would not cooperate with home health care.
Yeah. My mother wanted ME to do everything, no strangers no matter how great they were. If she had been offered a day of a velvet throne, almond oil massages and being fed grapes by buff shirtless men she would say no, my daughter is coming over to make me a ham sandwich and clean the bathtub and I have to make sure she does it right.
LOL you haven't met my mom. No way would she have complied with any of this - and she would have kicked people out of her home as well (and did).
Same with my MIL. She just would not cooperate with home health care.
When my dad had home care, my mom didn't want them helping with any care tasks for my dad and would give them chores like scrubbing her kitchen floor on their hands and knees (rather than using a mop). Her reasoning was that they were sent to help her, and that was the help she wanted.
I'm 64 and live in Canada. Mom lives a 5 hour drive from me.
Colleen is the POA and in Canada this does not give the medical say.
A separate process of obtaining guardianship to make medical decisions would have to be approved and signed by my Mom. We know that is not going to happen. We don't want to be dishonest and get her signature under false pretenses.
I did formulate a flowchart plan (mind map). There are quite a few government agencies I can call and ask for advocacy free of cost. And I do have a lawyer.
I am totally on my own with this now. The other sisters do not want to have anything to do with it. A question I need to ask myself. Should I just let this lie until something happens to Mom and my sisters see we should have acted when we had a chance to.
I guess from what you and others describe, you really have no choice but to let this lie if she doesn't believe she needs home care and refuses to sign something. Abiding by her wishes will also mean, though, that she has to be told that you can't and won't drop everything to travel to be there either. Expectations have to be set. Living independently is...well... living independently!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lieneke
It is her right to specify that she wishes to remain at home as long as possible.
And there's the rub -- "possible" is subjective. She could be firm in her belief that it's possible (everyone always is -- human nature) and yet really not be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lieneke
I mentioned one doctor appointment with mom and two lawyer appointments. I don't think that should be a hardship for anyone who wants to ensure that mom's rights are protected and that she is provided the best quality of health care.
There are no "multiple visits" with anyone, and it is as simple as I know it to be.
I was the lead for managing home care health needs for my parent. Everything can be arranged through phone calls if necessary. Furthermore, hopefully the sister visits mom regularly and at least one home care visit can be timed to correspond with that visit once a week. It's not a huge ordeal if you don't make it a huge ordeal. Arranging home care does not add to responsibilities, it is a relief from responsibilities.
Apparently the sisters perceive it to be an ordeal, as now the 2 "on board" sisters have decided they don't want to deal with this anymore and put it all on the OP.
Anyway, it sounds like OP can just put a pin in this for now.
Yeah. My mother wanted ME to do everything, no strangers no matter how great they were. If she had been offered a day of a velvet throne, almond oil massages and being fed grapes by buff shirtless men she would say no, my daughter is coming over to make me a ham sandwich and clean the bathtub and I have to make sure she does it right.
Girl. You made me dribble my wine with that one! I sort of sprayed it in the general direction of the computer screen!
Yeah. My mother wanted ME to do everything, no strangers no matter how great they were. If she had been offered a day of a velvet throne, almond oil massages and being fed grapes by buff shirtless men she would say no, my daughter is coming over to make me a ham sandwich and clean the bathtub and I have to make sure she does it right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
Girl. You made me dribble my wine with that one! I sort of sprayed it in the general direction of the computer screen!
Well, I was wondering where I could find some of those "buff shirtless men" to feed me grapes!
In Canada, home care is for people who really need it. If the client is able to throw the staff out of the house or demand that they wash floors, they don't need the services.
Enough with the off-topic chatting, people. Please make your posts relevant to OP's situation or take your chatting to the chat thread.
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