my dad is dying...

[ss20ts]

Originally Posted by cis_love

My husband is saying we should make plans to go. Is now the right time? We are very limited in how long we can be away so I want to go when the "best time" would be for when my sister and mom need me.

Go NOW! Do not wait. You want to see your father one last time. 1-4 weeks can easily turn into 2-3 days or 6 weeks. There's no way to know. While it's admirable to want to be there for your sister and mom, you need to see your dad and have peace with losing him. Everyone grieves in their own way in their own time.

[DanBev]

Originally Posted by cis_love

I got a call that my dad's organs are failing, esp his kidneys, due to congestive heart failure. He's at the hospital now. My sister is on her way to talk to the dr. They said keeping him on dialysis will give him maybe 1-4 weeks of living, but he wont get better, it just prolongs his condition. Without the dialysis he may die within a week. My sister doesn't know what to do. I am across the country. We know my dad did not want anything invasive but it just seems so hard to say let's stop all treatment.
Sorry I'm just jotting down my random thoughts here. (my dad is 86)

Our son was terminal with brain tumor and on resperator and they came in to put him on dialysis and we said no for that and other reasons.It would just prolong the inevitable.

[Avondalist]

I'm sorry for this.

Here's some food for thought.

https://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/...w-doctors-die/

It’s not a frequent topic of discussion, but doctors die, too. And they don’t die like the rest of us. What’s unusual about them is not how much treatment they get compared to most Americans, but how little. For all the time they spend fending off the deaths of others, they tend to be fairly serene when faced with death themselves. They know exactly what is going to happen, they know the choices, and they generally have access to any sort of medical care they could want. But they go gently.

[john3232]

Originally Posted by Threestep2

Get on a plane or start driving.

Exactly. My mother (age 96) suddenly felt ill and went into the hospital on a Friday. I went to pick her up on Saturday morning. My sister was with her. I pull into the parking lot and my sister calls. Tells me out mother's heart gave out twice and if it happens again she doesn't want to be brought back. She's requesting a priest. WHF?

I rush upstairs to her hospital room and my mother says if it's her time it's her time. However, she wants a priest to give her last rites. O.k. the priest comes and performs last rites.

She appeared to be in better spirits and requested to be brought back home. The doctors agreed and would provide the necessary medication for her pain as well as a nurse to come by.

Sunday I was able to spend some time alone with her and to say my good-byes. I was extremely sad and shocked at what was happening but am eternally grateful for the chance to say what needed to be said.

She passed away early Monday evening.

So yes... get over to see your father as soon as possible while there is time to say goodbye.