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Old 08-21-2022, 06:43 AM
 
4,413 posts, read 3,469,884 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arkay66 View Post
The cancer is also in his spine. He'll be undergoing a couple of Osteocool RF ablations to kill the spine lesions, then the void will be filled with bone cement. That should also cut the pain he's in by at least 50%.

Until then, he's wearing a back brace, and isn't allowed to drive, twist, bend or pick up anything heavier than a gallon milk jug (I'm not letting him do that, either).

Got two injections of Firmagon (snicker, good name) and will get another every 28 days. This stuff kills the testosterone that acts like gasoline on a fire with this cancer. What else needs to be done, we'll find out next Tuesday.

It really hurts to see a man so dynamic barely able to walk. He keeps apologizing for yelling at me, but I know it's just pain and frustration (and a little bit hard of hearing, too). Besides, if he's yelling at me, he's still here.

I've taken over his chores, particularly the pool cleaning ones. Seems only fair since I can still get in and work out, and he can't even sit in the spa (catheter). Frankly, I'd rather be cleaning the pool instead of cleaning the house, so a cleaning service is now on my list of things to hire.

Sister asked me to send her a list of all Mom's appointments, so we can sort out who's taking Mom when (she got family medical leave approved to help). I'll cover all Spousal Unit's appointments, and a family friend will come stay with him on the days I have to take Mom. We're all dealing with it okay. So far.

Arkay, I am so sorry to hear about this development. You have had so much to deal with in the past few years (I remember your various posts).



I would give yourself permission to step away from helping your Mom with medical appointments at this time. It makes no sense to drive an hour each way not including the appointment. Your spouse needs you and your mother has your sister to help out. Maybe the number ofoms doc appointments can be reduced. We have found that a lot of my MILs appointments are just sort of maintenance visits with no tests or anything. It was ok to forego them during Covid which made us and her realize some of these visits were superfluous. Also telehealth is an option.


Best wishes to you and your spouse. I feel for him living with pain.
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Old 08-21-2022, 05:31 PM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
1,830 posts, read 1,429,959 times
Reputation: 5754
When it rains...

Sister just tested positive for COVID. Since 97-year-old Mom lives with her, we're a little freaked. She's going to call Mom's GP and see if she'll send some COVID meds to Mom, just in case.

Spousal Unit and I both tested positive last week, not that we were sick, but because of that, we aren't going anywhere near Mom until the end of this week, when I take her to her podiatrist. The next slate of Mom doctor visits all have to be in-person, as they involve various tests and a few injections. She did enjoy the telemed visits, so whenever that's an option, it's the one she chooses. I still have to go, as the visits are via my laptop, but at least I'm not driving all over the city.

The home health nurse is supposed to show up here tomorrow to evaluate SU's needs. We're not contagious anymore, but we'll still wear masks for her safety.

On the up side, he's eating more, now that the pain meds are fully in his system. Speaking of which, time to make the tacos...
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Old 08-22-2022, 04:56 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,560 posts, read 84,755,078 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arkay66 View Post
When it rains...

Sister just tested positive for COVID. Since 97-year-old Mom lives with her, we're a little freaked. She's going to call Mom's GP and see if she'll send some COVID meds to Mom, just in case.

Spousal Unit and I both tested positive last week, not that we were sick, but because of that, we aren't going anywhere near Mom until the end of this week, when I take her to her podiatrist. The next slate of Mom doctor visits all have to be in-person, as they involve various tests and a few injections. She did enjoy the telemed visits, so whenever that's an option, it's the one she chooses. I still have to go, as the visits are via my laptop, but at least I'm not driving all over the city.

The home health nurse is supposed to show up here tomorrow to evaluate SU's needs. We're not contagious anymore, but we'll still wear masks for her safety.

On the up side, he's eating more, now that the pain meds are fully in his system. Speaking of which, time to make the tacos...
Yep, you are being whacked from all sides!
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Old 08-22-2022, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
1,830 posts, read 1,429,959 times
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Re-arranged Mom's appointments where I could, which leaves me with only one appointment to take her to this week. A family friend may step up and take her, since it's just a test and he won't have to take notes.

Mom's doc can't send profilactic meds unless Mom tests positive. Sister just took a second test and is definitely positive. She's also sick, but this version means her sick is a cold-like illness with no fever. Mom's not terribly concerned; she's rarely had a cold, last had the flu in 1959.

Home health nurse helped Rodney change catheter bags, so now he's a lot more mobile.

And it's actually raining!!!! Time to dance the happy rain dance.
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Old 08-23-2022, 10:10 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,560 posts, read 84,755,078 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arkay66 View Post
Re-arranged Mom's appointments where I could, which leaves me with only one appointment to take her to this week. A family friend may step up and take her, since it's just a test and he won't have to take notes.

Mom's doc can't send profilactic meds unless Mom tests positive. Sister just took a second test and is definitely positive. She's also sick, but this version means her sick is a cold-like illness with no fever. Mom's not terribly concerned; she's rarely had a cold, last had the flu in 1959.

Home health nurse helped Rodney change catheter bags, so now he's a lot more mobile.

And it's actually raining!!!! Time to dance the happy rain dance.
Leg bag instead of the big one?

I said to my sister, who is in a similar boat with her husband, "you know you're deep into caregiving when you start having a preference as to the brand of catheter drainage bag." The ones with the plastic clips break and leak so much faster than the ones with the metal.
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Old 08-23-2022, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Canada
7,680 posts, read 5,525,023 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilah G. View Post
I've become my mother's caretaker in the last 5 months. I'm fortunate my husband and child are ok with this..for mow.
Had to travel 1000 miles and leave a wonderful job to care for her.
My problem now, is convincing her to move 1000 miles to my state and begin assisted living. She was diagnosed with ISD a lung disease which only progresses. Since living with her I've had to cal 911 2 times. I almost lost her, 2 times at home 4 times in the hospital.

She thinks she'll be just fine living in a condo by herself.
If only I could make her see herself, and how she's struggles.
This came on very quickly.
One week she told me she was sick, next 2 weeks she drove herself to ER for shortness of breath.
Her health deteriorated that quickly.

I'm having a rough time mentally.
And she's having a rough time physically and mentally.
What’s the doctor’s opinion of your mother living alone? Perhaps your mother will listen if her doctor tells her it is too risky.
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Old 08-28-2022, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
1,830 posts, read 1,429,959 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Leg bag instead of the big one?

I said to my sister, who is in a similar boat with her husband, "you know you're deep into caregiving when you start having a preference as to the brand of catheter drainage bag." The ones with the plastic clips break and leak so much faster than the ones with the metal.
Leg bag. He hates the big one; feels he's limited to the property with it hanging out in public. Also, it was way too hard to properly empty, where the leg bag is easy.

Sister tested negative today. If negative again tomorrow, she's good to go. Meanwhile, as suspected, Mom's immune system scared COVID completely away. She's perfectly fine.

Spousal Unit's surgeries (two) are tomorrow afternoon and early Tuesday morning. Hopefully, that will cut his pain level down to annoyance level or lower, and make it easier for him to walk around.

Nephew came up and helped me with some chores requiring someone a lot taller. SU supervised us putting together a new lawn mower. Then this morning, we found out that lawn mower is a complete dud. Didn't even start, not after every troubleshooting step taken. So sometime this week, I'll haul it back to the store for a refund.

SU is making the hungry puppy eyes. Time to feed him...
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Old 08-30-2022, 08:28 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,560 posts, read 84,755,078 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arkay66 View Post
Leg bag. He hates the big one; feels he's limited to the property with it hanging out in public. Also, it was way too hard to properly empty, where the leg bag is easy.

Sister tested negative today. If negative again tomorrow, she's good to go. Meanwhile, as suspected, Mom's immune system scared COVID completely away. She's perfectly fine.

Spousal Unit's surgeries (two) are tomorrow afternoon and early Tuesday morning. Hopefully, that will cut his pain level down to annoyance level or lower, and make it easier for him to walk around.

Nephew came up and helped me with some chores requiring someone a lot taller. SU supervised us putting together a new lawn mower. Then this morning, we found out that lawn mower is a complete dud. Didn't even start, not after every troubleshooting step taken. So sometime this week, I'll haul it back to the store for a refund.

SU is making the hungry puppy eyes. Time to feed him...
I like Spousal Unit. Might adopt that. We aren't legally married, but his doctors consider me common-law. It's more readily recognized here.

My SU is still sleeping. We took him to his real home, a house on a lake, for a long weekend. It's the first he's been back there since last November. It was also the first time in a long while that we've gotten him up out of the hospital bed in the living room, moved him to a wheelchair (he can stand and even take some steps with assistance, the problem is not strength, but coordination) and relocated him to his bedroom where the only current TV is. We did that each day. Then yesterday, to get him out of the house, which is NOT remotely disability-friendly, I drove my car to the backyard and we walked him down six steps that led from the deck, one of us on each side hanging on to him. He did it fairly well, but it must have exhausted him.

Per the speech/swallowing therapist's instructions, he uses one-word requests whenever possible. His voice is hoarse and sounds like he is shouting and angry even when he is not. So soon I will hear "HUNGRY!"
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Old 08-30-2022, 06:57 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
32,931 posts, read 36,341,370 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I like Spousal Unit. Might adopt that. We aren't legally married, but his doctors consider me common-law. It's more readily recognized here.

My SU is still sleeping. We took him to his real home, a house on a lake, for a long weekend. It's the first he's been back there since last November. It was also the first time in a long while that we've gotten him up out of the hospital bed in the living room, moved him to a wheelchair (he can stand and even take some steps with assistance, the problem is not strength, but coordination) and relocated him to his bedroom where the only current TV is. We did that each day. Then yesterday, to get him out of the house, which is NOT remotely disability-friendly, I drove my car to the backyard and we walked him down six steps that led from the deck, one of us on each side hanging on to him. He did it fairly well, but it must have exhausted him.

Per the speech/swallowing therapist's instructions, he uses one-word requests whenever possible. His voice is hoarse and sounds like he is shouting and angry even when he is not. So soon I will hear "HUNGRY!"
I feel happy for him. He got to go to the lake and go outside! This probably made his year. Various issues keep me at home more often than I'd like, but I can at least go outside.
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Old 08-30-2022, 07:00 PM
 
1,204 posts, read 934,612 times
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Mighty queen, so glad you got to have that trip!
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