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Welcome to the Caregiving Forum. First, Dementia is a very vague term that covers many diseases. It's important to know which they are diagnosed with as the symptoms of Alzheimer's Disease are very different that those of Frontotemporal or Lewy Body Dementia. Chances of it being passed down genetically is still open for debate ( personally think it's more environmental rather than genetic based but I'm not a scientist.) Regarding payments for Dementia care, I feel your pain. You don't mention your age but I strongly urge you to seek out an Eldercare Attorney to put steps into place to happen if/when they are needed. I can tell you that I'm into year seven of taking care of my husband. It is a nightmare I can't wake up from. I don't want to scare you but take steps NOW on how you will take care if lock down care is required. I thought I had our whole retirement mapped out only to find that I only have the choice to place DH in a lockdown facility and go broke quickly or keep him at home as long as I can to safeguard my finances for my remaining years. As for living on the grounds, in most instances it would be no in a memory care unit but yes if it's either an independence or assisted care facility. Feel free to ask any questions here. There are a lot of people to help you here.
Hey there, Va-Cat, I shared your predicament for almost five years. Five years of taking care of a sick spouse who deteriorated over time. It reached the point where it was no longer safe for either of us to keep him at home and he went to a nursing home almost two months ago.
Here's what I learned. It is important to have the ill spouse discharged from a hospital directly to a facility. There should be a social worker on hand who will coordinate that for you. In my husband's case, he fell and was having hallucinations. It necessitated a trip to the ER where it was determined he shouldn't come home. They kept him in a regular room for several "midnights", which is a Medicaid requirement. Then he was brought to a facility.
Medicaid. Each state is different. In my state, as long as the spouse is alive (that would be you) you are entitled to keep all the equity in your home. You can move and use all of it to buy another home if you want. If you don't spend all the equity, what's left will be divided between you. You keep yours and his half may be put in a different trust to be accessed in future for repayment but only after you are gone and it is needed.
Other assets: You don't have to turn over everything. If he has an IRA you are entitled to half. The other half will be set up in a Medicaid Compliant Trust which will generate income. It is irrevocable but if your spouses meets his demise before it's all spent, you continue to receive the income until it's dissipated, usually after six or seven years.
You may already be up on all of this. If not, don't assume you'll lose everything if you spouse goes into care. As a spouse, you have more leeway than you may realize. If you are a surviving child or heir, that's when things get hairy.
Hey there, Va-Cat, I shared your predicament for almost five years. Five years of taking care of a sick spouse who deteriorated over time. It reached the point where it was no longer safe for either of us to keep him at home and he went to a nursing home almost two months ago.
Here's what I learned. It is important to have the ill spouse discharged from a hospital directly to a facility. There should be a social worker on hand who will coordinate that for you. In my husband's case, he fell and was having hallucinations. It necessitated a trip to the ER where it was determined he shouldn't come home. They kept him in a regular room for several "midnights", which is a Medicaid requirement. Then he was brought to a facility.
Medicaid. Each state is different. In my state, as long as the spouse is alive (that would be you) you are entitled to keep all the equity in your home. You can move and use all of it to buy another home if you want. If you don't spend all the equity, what's left will be divided between you. You keep yours and his half may be put in a different trust to be accessed in future for repayment but only after you are gone and it is needed.
Other assets: You don't have to turn over everything. If he has an IRA you are entitled to half. The other half will be set up in a Medicaid Compliant Trust which will generate income. It is irrevocable but if your spouses meets his demise before it's all spent, you continue to receive the income until it's dissipated, usually after six or seven years.
You may already be up on all of this. If not, don't assume you'll lose everything if you spouse goes into care. As a spouse, you have more leeway than you may realize. If you are a surviving child or heir, that's when things get hairy.
Good luck and I wish you the best.
Coming back to look at this response. In our state, (Michigan) it's pretty straightforward. Half of our asset value (including the value of our home) is used to decide when DH would qualify for state medical assistance (i.e. Medicaid). Because we do not carry any debt, we are in the bracket that gets hit hardest. Frankly from a financial perspective, divorcing him and dividing up our assets would be the best solution. However, that is not something I could ever do. Even though his behavior is ten times worse that either of us ever imagined, I promised him 7 years ago that I would never "dump" him. I'm trying to honor that promise.
Va cat, I admire your dedication but worry about your safety. You could still visit daily and be a part of your husband’s life if he was in a facility.
Coming back to look at this response. In our state, (Michigan) it's pretty straightforward. Half of our asset value (including the value of our home) is used to decide when DH would qualify for state medical assistance (i.e. Medicaid). Because we do not carry any debt, we are in the bracket that gets hit hardest. Frankly from a financial perspective, divorcing him and dividing up our assets would be the best solution. However, that is not something I could ever do. Even though his behavior is ten times worse that either of us ever imagined, I promised him 7 years ago that I would never "dump" him. I'm trying to honor that promise.
I had an idea you'd know about all this already. Every state is different. In my state, my husband's equity in the house would only be accessed for reimbursement after he and I were both gone and if the annuity was spent down during his time at the facility. While I'm still kicking it's mine to use as needed.
I had an idea you'd know about all this already. Every state is different. In my state, my husband's equity in the house would only be accessed for reimbursement after he and I were both gone and if the annuity was spent down during his time at the facility. While I'm still kicking it's mine to use as needed.
Good luck to you both.
Thank you. This is why I keep saying that the system is broken. This is so much worse than I could have ever imagined. As us, as the baby boomer generation continues to age, this will become an even bigger crisis. FTD is nothing like Alzheimer's. I find out new things almost daily. I just found out yesterday that DH can no longer pick himself out in any pictures. I have my favorite picture of the two of us on our fireplace mantle. He recognized me but asked me who I was with. He just doesn't believe that it's himself.
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