Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
After 19 years with Weasie and her "auto-purring" outgoing ways I'm still getting acclimated to Seteria and Blaliko as the first anniversaries of their respective adoptions of me draw near. Due to their backgrounds (Blaliko homeless for a long time, Seteria born outdoors) they continue to be extremely wary around unmet humans.
Both are more sparing in their affection than their predecessor. But they have their moments when they welcome lap time or are happy to snuggle next to me (and sometimes also one another) in bed. "Moments" is the operative word here. More so than her daughter, Blaliko will occasionally take one of her trademark flying leaps into my lap. She'll then start up her motor and be all about rubbing and nuzzling - for maybe 3 minutes max as a rule. After that she'll jump back down and go on to other things. I've taken to calling these brief schmoozes "kitty quickies."
How do the rest of you fare with your felines' sharing quality time?
I have the opposite problem. Oscar is in my face constantly---while I'm at my desk he lays down and taps on the keyboard and shuffles papers. When I'm sitting down for the evening he is in my lap in a nano second. At 17 lbs, he gets hot pretty quickly and sometimes I have to run him off but then Langley is right behind him. They pass back and forth on the table between DH and me looking for a warm lap which will accept them. sometimes we do and sometimes we scoot them away. They are persistent, sitting on the arm of my chair tap tap tapping at my arm, howling in my face, climbing on the back of my chair. All the while the two dogs are sweetly in their beds knowing their all too brief time for kisses usually comes at the end of the day and in the very early morning.. And in between hugs and kisses with dogs and cats I manage to hug and kiss on my two adorable pre teen daughters. It is a smooch fest at my house.
Give it time. When my shelter kitty first came here, unsocialized, she wouldn't even allow petting. Took her a year to even try getting on me, and then I had to be prone on the couch and she would get on my chest for about 3 seconds. After about 4 years she would spend maybe 10 minutes there. Now she's been here 8 years and she is a dead weight on my chest every night when I read on the couch and I better not dare try to disturb her or need to get up because she's not budging.
Oh and she sleeps in my arms all night. That started about 6 months ago.
My cats were very standoffish the first six months or so after we brought them inside. Now they're in my face constantly -- if I sit down, they walk across me like pedestrians on a crosswalk; if I move from room to room, they follow me like puppies.
I'm sure your kitties will come around, too, once they realize how lucky they are!
How do the rest of you fare with your felines' sharing quality time?
Each one of mine will come by one or more times a day for petting and maybe some cuddling. Only one can be considered a lap-cat. Two want to stand and walk on my keyboard when I'm on the computer. One likes bedtime to cuddle. He likes to lay on my stomach and be petted and get his chin rub while I read. We both make sure each cat gets all the attention and quality time they need and want. They're never pushed or shooed away.
Kitty Katty and I do not separate from one another. He is right here laying across my arms as I type this just purring away. Every once in a while he will look up at me and say meow. I say it back. It could actually go on for quite a while. He also shares quite a few head butts and nudges.
He was adopted at 6 years old and has been a lovey kitty since the day I got him. The people with the rescue told me he would just stay in his crate all the time...we beg to differ... =)
If I instigate a snuggle and I'm lucky enough to catch Nimbus in the mood to permit it, he'll sit on my lap for 10 minutes tops and be all purr-ful and sweet. Twice he has licked my nose when I made a smoochy noise at him. And if I nap out on the couch (the living room is his preferred space) he will usually join me, but only if it's his idea.
However, he's very attached to me. He follows me around the house, but if I try and reach down to pet him, I might get away with it or he might prance and frisk away. "DO NOT TOUCH ME! I AM A WILD THING!!" ~~ZOOM!!~~ And he's gone. Until I walk to another room and he attacks my leg.
I think it's his age. He gets the kitteny friskyness. I think when he gets older he'll be more of a snuggle cat. He definitely loves his people, especially me. He cries if he doesn't know where I am, or if I close a door and shut him out of a room. He is a sweetie, when he wants to be. And a nuisance sometimes, definitely...but he's too cute for me to get mad at him.
Sunday will mark 15 months since Weasie and I parted company. I still think about her all the time and sometimes feel some guilt about not yet loving her successors as deeply and completely as I did her. But Blaliko only started the process of adopting me last May, and it was September before I was able to win Seteria over. If we're lucky enough to stay together in this life for nineteen years it shouldn't be an issue.
I can't pinpoint when I crossed over from active grief to more low-level mourning for Weasie. But Blaliko and her Keystone Kops escapades with the city Animal Commission helped tremendously. My attention was diverted to present-day cats by focusing on her staying "one step ahead of the law" time after time until at long last she and five of her litter of six kittens were captured. (Blaliko was spayed and, obviously, returned while the young 'uns were placed into foster care and have probably long since found their forever homes.)
As far as composing - and reading - threads like this go, what overtakes me more than anything is nostalgia. Some of my zillions of memories about Weasie are brought to the fore. Nostalgia is always bittersweet. Recollection makes you smile but at the same time you're wistful. "The measure of your pain is the measure of your love." Eventually the raw emotion will become manageable.
Shortly before I started this, Blaliko stopped by for - yes - a kitty quickie that may have lasted for as long as two minutes. There will come a time when I'll be going through the same process after she's passed away: undiluted sorrow over never seeing her launch herself into my lap again, then longing remembrance, then nostalgia. Based on that my inclination is to think that it probably does help put things into perspective and ease the ache to read others' cat tales.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
When my shelter kitty first came here, unsocialized, she wouldn't even allow petting. Took her a year to even try getting on me, and then I had to be prone on the couch and she would get on my chest for about 3 seconds. After about 4 years she would spend maybe 10 minutes there. Now she's been here 8 years and she is a dead weight on my chest every night when I read on the couch and I better not dare try to disturb her or need to get up because she's not budging.
One likes bedtime to cuddle. He likes to lay on my stomach and be petted and get his chin rub while I read. We both make sure each cat gets all the attention and quality time they need and want. They're never pushed or shooed away.
