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So I have 2 cats and a dog, whom I've had for 11, 8 & 2.5 years respectively... I love them all, and wouldn't normally consider giving a pet away. But my 11 year-old Siamese mix Kona fell head over heels in LOVE with my old roommate (let's call him Kris), who moved out last month. Then we got a new roommate with a dog & cat of his own, and she's been pretty miserable with them. She's been holed up in my bedroom for 3 weeks now, looking very annoyed and irritated by the whole situation. I should mention that we've never had that strong of a bond, which I always attributed to her "typical Siamese personality." There's no doubt she loves me, but I can't remember the last time she really cuddled with me - only shows affection when it's dinner time, LOL. She also hasn't ever been fond of my other cat, even though they've lived together for 8 years, and barely tolerates the dog.
When Kris moved out, I semi-jokingly said "maybe I'll let her live with you if she hates the new dog." Kris called today to ask if he could stop by & talk about Kona, which I assume means he's going to ask if I'll give her to him. As I said above, she absolutely adores this man, and slept with him every night for the year he lived here... she also follows him around like a puppy dog, and they have cute meowing conversations together. I think she'd really prefer being an only pet, and know she would love being with Kris full-time.
If you were me, would you consider letting him have her? I do love the cat, but to be perfectly honest, I probably wouldn't even notice she was gone. Until the new dog moved in, I don't think she'd slept in my room for over a year! My only concern is that he's a young (22 year-old) guy, and has a habit of being absentminded... so what if he forgets to feed her, or decides he's over it? I'm also aware of her advanced age, which might stick him with expensive vet bills in the near future. I suppose I could "lend" her to him, and take her back if it doesn't work out. Does anyone have opinions to offer me? I can't imagine giving away a pet normally, but this seems like it would be in her best interest.
So I have 2 cats and a dog, whom I've had for 11, 8 & 2.5 years respectively... I love them all, and wouldn't normally consider giving a pet away. But my 11 year-old Siamese mix Kona fell head over heels in LOVE with my old roommate (let's call him Kris), who moved out last month. Then we got a new roommate with a dog & cat of his own, and she's been pretty miserable with them. She's been holed up in my bedroom for 3 weeks now, looking very annoyed and irritated by the whole situation. I should mention that we've never had that strong of a bond, which I always attributed to her "typical Siamese personality." There's no doubt she loves me, but I can't remember the last time she really cuddled with me - only shows affection when it's dinner time, LOL. She also hasn't ever been fond of my other cat, even though they've lived together for 8 years, and barely tolerates the dog.
When Kris moved out, I semi-jokingly said "maybe I'll let her live with you if she hates the new dog." Kris called today to ask if he could stop by & talk about Kona, which I assume means he's going to ask if I'll give her to him. As I said above, she absolutely adores this man, and slept with him every night for the year he lived here... she also follows him around like a puppy dog, and they have cute meowing conversations together. I think she'd really prefer being an only pet, and know she would love being with Kris full-time.
If you were me, would you consider letting him have her? I do love the cat, but to be perfectly honest, I probably wouldn't even notice she was gone. Until the new dog moved in, I don't think she'd slept in my room for over a year! My only concern is that he's a young (22 year-old) guy, and has a habit of being absentminded... so what if he forgets to feed her, or decides he's over it? I'm also aware of her advanced age, which might stick him with expensive vet bills in the near future. I could "lend" her to him, and take her back if it doesn't work out. Does anyone have opinions to offer me? I can't imagine giving away a pet normally, but this seems like it would be in her best interest.
I think Kona is like my Cat, an "Only" cat. She does not like other cats at all period, but loves people. I think it would be ok to give her to your ex roomie, because you are not just leaving her somewhere without care or knowing the person. It sounds like you love your Cats. That happens sometimes. When I was married I took my black Cat Cleo, because he preferred me to my ex. For some reason they never liked each other. I loved the other two cats we had too, but bonded more with Cleo.
I know it is hard to let her go, but can you still visit her? I think she is acting up on purpose, so you will give her to your ex-roomie. Cats are smart! She is also probably depressed. I think your ex roomie misses her too. Maybe make him a kitty basket with stuff he needs and a marker board telling him to feed the Cat. Cats will let you know if they are hungry anyway!
My friend in VA owns a rescue and she says some Cats just bond with a person right off. A guy came to adopt a Cat and the cat just looked in his eyes and fell in love! He adopted the Cat right away. It was the same way with me and my baby Zelda. She was the one I wanted, because there was something about her! Good luck and let us know what happens. She will be so happy!
Last edited by Artsywoman; 10-06-2008 at 06:45 PM..
Reason: additions
You already know the answer--let her go and live with Kris. It sounds like he really loves her and misses her. It is a difficult decision to make, but it sounds like that would be the best thing to do.
Thank you for the responses, and I'm relieved you don't think I'm crazy (or mean) for considering it... if SHE would be happiest in that arrangement, I guess my feelings are less important. He only moved across the Bay (about 15-20 minutes from SF), so I could definitely visit her if he stays in the area. He has made noises about moving back to Ohio or possibly Europe, but I doubt that will happen anytime soon. Anyway, thanks again, and I'm anxious to see how other people respond.
P.S. Kris is coming over at 7:30 tonight, so I'll let you know what happens!
Oh, and yes, I'm sure he misses Kona greatly! He practically cried when they said goodbye, and this is a very un-emotional (goth-type) guy we're talking about... he's joked about being an "old cat lady" eventually, and thinks Kona would be the perfect start to that.
Just get an agreement, in writing, that should anything happen to him the cat comes back to you. Protects the cat from becoming a shelter animal if he gets in an accidnet or worse. Also, if he goes to Europe, you should get her back.
I think it's great of you to put the cat's happiness first...it does sound like she'd be better off with your ex-roomie if they bonded like that. (By the way, 11 isn't very old for an indoor cat...they can live well into their 20's, so they may have quite a few happy & healthy years together before anyone has to worry about vet. bills...!) I respect your willingness to see beyond possessing your animal and into its wishes/best interest. Good luck!
Kris came over last night, and did ask if I'd still let him have Kona... he said he felt a little guilty taking my cat, and would feel even more guilty giving her back (if he moves). But we both think she'll be really happy with him, so we're going to try it out for a bit. I'm planning to drop her off next week, check out his new digs, and how she reacts to everything. Then I guess we'll just wait and see what happens! I'll definitely get an agreement in writing, and make sure he understands I'm still her "owner." So if anything happens to him or he moves overseas, I WILL take her back. I'm not that worried she'd end up in a shelter, since he's really sensitive about animals, and hates the idea of kenneling/caging them. But still a good idea to get everything in writing, as my attorney sister would remind me - LOL. Thanks to everyone for the responses, and I'll keep you updated.
P.S. When I got home he was already here, and cuddling with Kona in my room... she looked soooo happy to see him.
(By the way, 11 isn't very old for an indoor cat...they can live well into their 20's, so they may have quite a few happy & healthy years together before anyone has to worry about vet. bills...!)
That is true! I recently took care of a 19 year-old Tabby cat, and my sister's Abyssinian turned 18 in April - which is extremely rare for that breed. She has been expensive over the last few years, though, which I made sure my ex-roomie understood. He's financially comfortable, so at least I know he can afford whatever comes his way... and I'd always be willing to help if necessary. But Kona has been SUPER healthy her entire life, so *knock on wood* I don't expect any major problems.
well as a former siamese owner, if she is a typical siamese he WON"T be able to forget to feed her.....she'll "tell" him!
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She also hasn't ever been fond of my other cat, even though they've lived together for 8 years, and barely tolerates the dog.
