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Old 05-29-2011, 08:56 PM
 
42 posts, read 80,703 times
Reputation: 21

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He proposed, I said I do not wear any jewelry, i want the money to buy whatever i want.
he agreed, but gave me installation checks.
I bought wedding dress, did a few things for wedding already.

now he breaking up with me leave me hurt and feel betrayed.
Friday night, he said i love you and bought me gift. Sunday he is saying we are not good fit. and want the money back.

I am just curios what NC or SC state law is toward this kind of things.
do i have to return his money.
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Old 05-29-2011, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,681,934 times
Reputation: 40199
Quote:
Originally Posted by coconut2012 View Post
He proposed, I said I do not wear any jewelry, i want the money to buy whatever i want.
he agreed, but gave me installation checks.
I bought wedding dress, did a few things for wedding already.

now he breaking up with me leave me hurt and feel betrayed.
Friday night, he said i love you and bought me gift. Sunday he is saying we are not good fit. and want the money back.

I am just curios what NC or SC state law is toward this kind of things.
do i have to return his money.

An engagement ring is a symbol of the promise of marriage.

When the marriage doesn't happen you should return the ring, and some courts will compel you to do that if the man takes you to court.

Since you didn't get a ring it's not so simple.

I would say you should return any cash/checks you have from him.

Most wedding dresses can't be returned so you shouldn't have to give him any of the money back that you spent on that, though that is just my opinion.

Right now you are hurt and embarrassed, which is understandable, but I see no need to get the law involved - that will just cost you more money in the long run. Give him the cash, keep the things you bought and be done with him. Better luck next time.
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Old 05-29-2011, 09:39 PM
 
42 posts, read 80,703 times
Reputation: 21
then the money i spend i can not get back from him?
who wants a wedding dress will never use?

even court compel i have to pay him back.
then what if i do not have the money.
can they take it out of my paycheck or bank directly?
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Old 05-29-2011, 09:48 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,681,934 times
Reputation: 40199
Quote:
Originally Posted by coconut2012 View Post
then the money i spend i can not get back from him?
who wants a wedding dress will never use?

even court compel i have to pay him back.
then what if i do not have the money.
can they take it out of my paycheck or bank directly?
Didn't you spend money HE gave you?

You can try to sell the dress yourself in the newspaper, on Craigs List or Ebay.
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Old 05-29-2011, 10:41 PM
 
1,013 posts, read 2,983,711 times
Reputation: 764
Quote:
Originally Posted by coconut2012 View Post
He proposed, I said I do not wear any jewelry, i want the money to buy whatever i want.
he agreed, but gave me installation checks.
I bought wedding dress, did a few things for wedding already.

now he breaking up with me leave me hurt and feel betrayed.
Friday night, he said i love you and bought me gift. Sunday he is saying we are not good fit. and want the money back.

I am just curios what NC or SC state law is toward this kind of things.
do i have to return his money.

So, he didn't give you a ring, just money?

If he wants the money back that was suppose to be used for the wedding, give it back to him. If you already purchased a wedding dress(with his money), give him that too. Let him sell it to recoup his money.

Call yourself lucky, to find out what a loser he is BEFORE marriage. Others are not so lucky.
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Old 05-30-2011, 06:46 AM
 
3,774 posts, read 8,191,456 times
Reputation: 4424
I would consider it a gift. especially if he ambushed you with a break up. if someone gives you something as a gift they have no process to recover that gift.

unless you signed something when he gave you the loot...

If he wants his stuff, let him sue you and see what a court says.
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Old 05-30-2011, 06:57 AM
 
821 posts, read 1,853,696 times
Reputation: 622
He can take you to Small Claims court, where neither of you would have to have an attorney, to get his money returned. He gave you the money, in lieu of a ring. This was an unwritten contract in advance of a marriage. Give him (1) the money or (2) give him the dress. Maybe he can give the dress to the next woman to whom he proposes and let her get it tailored to fit the betrothed. In Small Claims, I suspect the Magistrate would rule in his favor. Just sayin'
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Old 05-30-2011, 07:03 AM
 
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
23,813 posts, read 34,657,307 times
Reputation: 10256
Usually if the potential bride breaks up the engagement, she must return the ring. If the potential groom breaks things off, she keeps it. Let him take you to court.
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Old 05-30-2011, 07:04 AM
 
8,402 posts, read 24,215,373 times
Reputation: 6822
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike409 View Post
So, he didn't give you a ring, just money?

If he wants the money back that was suppose to be used for the wedding, give it back to him. If you already purchased a wedding dress(with his money), give him that too. Let him sell it to recoup his money.

Call yourself lucky, to find out what a loser he is BEFORE marriage. Others are not so lucky.
Breaking up with someone doesn't make one a loser. Relationships end all the time. Would he be less of a loser if they'd gotten married and been unhappy?

I question OP's role in this based on her posts here.
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Old 05-30-2011, 07:10 AM
 
1,661 posts, read 3,286,491 times
Reputation: 552
NC vs SC are quite different. The primary difference being that:

South Carolina is one of the very few states that recognizes common law marriage. Given what you said, you are already married under that state's laws and you can deal with him appropriately. i.e. community property.
South Carolina
The criteria for a common law marriage are: (1) when two parties have a present intent (usually, but not necessarily, evidenced by a public and unequivocal declaration) to enter into a marriage contract; and (2) "a mutual agreement between the parties to assume toward each other the relation of husband and wife."
If you think SC applies, I would be getting a good divorce lawyer. If you are dating in SC, you should take caution of promises made.

North Carolina, like most states, does not recognize it.

Last edited by yantosh22; 05-30-2011 at 07:28 AM..
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