Can I/Should I move being a Christian? (women, churches, preaching)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I thought this site would be appropriate for my issue. Forgive me up front, I'm probably going to write a book.
As assumed, I've definitely been in a lot of prayer and seeking His Word throughout all of this.
My question is can I move? I've lived in Iowa my entire life and have been dying to get out of here. However, I've dedicated my life to the Lord and I want to go wherever it is He wants me.
But here's my situation....
I'm a 26 year old male. Have lived in Iowa my entire life, have a decent job and nice apartment on my own. I've always claimed to be a Christian, but lived my life as I pleased. From age 19-25 I partied hard, in bars constantly, slept around, and was not concerned about anyone but myself.
While I was in the midst of this, my ideal place to move was Austin, TX. I visited there once, and was swept away (mostly because of the party scene.) But there are many other aspects of the city that are appealing to me without partying (weather, live music, outdoor activities, etc.)
1 year and a half ago I met a girl on an airplane from a flight from Chicago to Arizona. We chatted, met up after we landed. Exchanged numbers and split ways. We found that we had a lot in common, we're both 50% Greek, which is a rare thing to find.
She was from Michigan and we kept in contact for the next three months through email and phone. She then came and visited me in Iowa. We had an amazing time and decided to do long distance for a while.
She is a Christian and I knew that I had to change my lifestyle if I wanted to keep this great, new girl. At the same time, my dad had been preaching in my ear the Truth and before I used to just smile and nod.... now, I actually started to listen and became saved shortly after.
Fast forward 6 months, last June, she moved to Iowa to be with me. She moved into my place, as I didn't see much wrong with it at the time (yike.) At first, it was just going to be a temporary thing, but ended up lasting for another 6 months. As you can assume, we were physical at that point.
During that time, we got involved with a non-denominational church here in Iowa. The people were great, all young, and our age so very relatable and all things were awesome.
We felt a lot of friction from our church and I too felt very convicted for living together, and we agreed that it would be best to stop being physical and I got my own place and she moved in with a married couple from our Bible study.
So now we're still together, but not living together. Things are good, I've seen her grow a lot and same for myself as well. However, we are now seeking counsel, in the Word, and prayer on if we should move forward with marriage or to break up.
We're on the same page that we're wasting our time if we aren't going to get married.
So there are two issues here...
1. What I've learned from this church is that marriage is a vehicle used to grow God's kingdom. That our marriage shouldn't be about having a nice house and sweet jobs... but needs to be about who I will be most fruitful for God's kingdom with.
2. She is dead-set on not wanting to stay in Iowa.
She wants to go back to Michigan to be with her family... but she's also open to the idea of moving to (of all places) Austin, Texas.
Why Austin? Growing up in Michigan, her family had a close family friend who was influential in her church and ended up moving to Austin to become a pastor. She kept in close contact with him and his family and she would be open to the idea of going there.
So I'm thinking back to the verse of seeking His kingdom first (Matt 6:33) and Austin, the place I wanted to move to will unfold to me?
Or am I just trying to justify going to Austin?
I, in no means, will want to get into the party scene in Austin, I would go to get plugged into the church there that her friend is a pastor of and see what God will have for me there to grow His kingdom.
I still resist the party scene that I used to be engulfed in, here in Iowa, so that's nothing I'm looking for in a new city.
People in my church are really not too keen on the idea of moving. Saying that the church is a body of beleivers, and leaving would be like cutting off party of the body.
They make good statments that this is where I've grown leaps and bounds with my walk with the Lord, but if God lays opportunities in my path, how do I know they're from Him?
Do I apply for a job in Austin or Michigan and pray that if the Lord wants this to work, he'll make a way? Or if not, He'll close the doors?
But with or without marrying her, moving is still something that is on my mind.
So...
Moving Question:
If I'm to love my spouse just as Jesus loved the church, wouldn't I lay down my life (move) for my spouse? (Granted, she's not my spouse now, that's where I have the opportunity to figure this out first.)
If I move away from this body of beleivers, am I walking away from the Lord? I don't want to go anywhere where I will be complacent in my faith.
If I'm now a slave to the Lord, do I have to stay in Iowa for the rest of my life because this church tells me to?
Your last comments let me know that you have a grip on the big picture, that's good. Don't ever follow a person to follow the Lord - that's not how it works.
That being said, don't over think it. God is faithful, and will honor your desire to follow Him - Austin or not - He's there just as He's here. The relationship with the girl can be tricky, because two people that have fallen short are two people that must forgive each other and themselves - twice as hard as moving on in the Lord as one doing it.
So first thing, pray together - the two of you. Get heart to heart, and then consider things, but you must be settled in your spirit before you'll have peace in the natural realm (church location, jobs, etc.).
If I'm to love my spouse just as Jesus loved the church, wouldn't I lay down my life (move) for my spouse? (Granted, she's not my spouse now, that's where I have the opportunity to figure this out first.)
If I move away from this body of beleivers, am I walking away from the Lord? I don't want to go anywhere where I will be complacent in my faith.
If I'm now a slave to the Lord, do I have to stay in Iowa for the rest of my life because this church tells me to?
First Q - True, but you would be the head of the family. Even though God can speak directly to both of you, you should be the lead. My policy on big decisions - one NO is a NO GO.
Second Q - No you are not walking away from the Lord. It's God's church. He can use you where He sees fit. The Lord will never leave you once you are His.
Third Q - No. You are to be obedient to the Lord first. Church leadership falls behind God and family IMHO.
There should be a few churches in mind before you move......If you have a ministries that the Lord is moving you must pray through and get the plan that the Lord has....... The Lord Jesus will never leave you or forsake you if you never leave him, he will be with you to the ends of the earth, but you must pray and get his will, find a few churches that you can try and go there, if the new church is not the one,... than bless Jesus there, and Try the other Churches........Jesus will follow you to many church untill you get established in the one your anointed for. Glory to God......
People in my church are really not too keen on the idea of moving. Saying that the church is a body of beleivers, and leaving would be like cutting off party of the body.
Sounds like the Lord may want you in Austin..with a future wife who just happened along with ties in Austin..
You would definitely not be leaving God and the church..When you walk with Him you are the church and God will put you where He needs you..
Sometimes you have to politely ignore the advice of friends and pastors and do what is nagging you the most from within, aka the Holy Spirit..
Thank you for the replies. It is my hope that the Lord has me in Austin, but again, I don't want it to be my own will, but His will.
Like I said, I met with my pastor last night and he had two questions for me in regards to moving....
1. What's the best for my personal walk with Christ?
2. What's the best for other's walk? What's the best for making disciples?
He said that these are both God's will, so if a move warrants both of those, then it's okay. If it's strictly for a job or warmer weather, or just change of scenery... then it's not God's will.
He said he had some evidence that a job may not be from God, but from the devil. When Jesus was tempted in the desert by the devil, he tempted him with glorious cities and kingdoms, saying that they were his and he could offer them to Jesus or anyone else.
Jesus corrects the devil many times in this passage, but did not correct him after that statement.
So my pastor advised me that things such as jobs or warm weather, etc. may be from the devil to entice me to go, knowing that I would become spirtually complacent or spirtually dead.
He also did acknowledge that the body of beleivers is universal, but a problem in churches today is that people just up and move around as they please. However, I did tell him that if I stayed in Des Moines, I didn't plan on going to another church. As if I decided to plant myself in Austin or Michigan, I wouldn't just bounce around churches as I pleased.
He said his evidence of that the Bible wasn't referring to the universal body, but individual churches was Paul speaking to specific churches in the New Testament.
My reply is more on the practical side and directed to your relationship with the girl. You say she wants to go back to Michigan to be with her family OR she would be ok with going to Austin.
Speaking from experience, she might be happy initially in Austin, but as time goes on she will most likely be more and more restless and want to move back to Michigan unless the opportunity arises for her to visit often. My ex husband convinced me to move just far enough away from my family and friends that it was long distance to call (no cell phones then) and after working it was not convenient to get back there often. I died a little bit more every year. For MOST women, your man really can't be all she needs. If he is very attentive it might help, but a woman will always miss quick trips to see her siblings/parents/longtime childhood friends, have a dinner with them periodically, quick phone calls. What is available long distance never was fulfilling for me. I was quite lonely tho I had made new friends, etc., but they never take the place of the old.
It CAN work, don't get me wrong. I would just have a very long talk with her on how she has felt so far being separated from her family and if she feels she could handle the rest of her life being long distance, knowing that eventually family members and friends could end up being in different locations and thus one trip wouldn't allow visits to everyone and at some point death happens and will she be devastated because of all the time spent away?
I had really struggled with the adage that a wife should follow her husband, etc. So I did. But the cost was pretty high for me. Other women can deal with it much better. She needs to evaluate how much she's missed being 'home' up to this point and then decide if she can handle it through the next 20+ years.
As far as you moving, I say go for it. Have you investigated job opportunities there, etc? Are you in a position where it wouldn't be difficult to earn a living? In most cases, it is better to try to follow a dream and see it not work than give it up and always wonder what would have happened if you had pursued it. Think too long and too much about an opportunity and you lose the sheer joy of embarking on something new.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
