Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I apologise in advance if this is not maybe the right section where to post this kind of question.
I'd really appreciate if I could get some advice on something which has been on my mind a lot recently and on which I'm struggling to make a decision.
I'm a 29yo gay guy from Europe and I've received a great job offer in data science at a big tech company in SF (so basically my dream job!) which would allow me to transfer to the US on a L1 (intra-company transfer) visa.
It's surely an amazing opportunity but this clashes with a plan I've been making for a long time about moving to my dream city, New York City.
I know NYC very well, I've been many times, stayed even for a couple of months and I'm therefore also well aware of all the negative aspects that come with living there - living there is simply my biggest dream and, whenever I move to a new city, I always have in my mind the idea that it's a temporary step before I make my big move to NYC and stay there for quite a few years.
I know SF only from a tourist perspective and, while I don't think it's the worst place on earth of course, I'm not very excited about the place honestly.
From my limited experience, there is no comparison with the energy, range of options, late opening hours, late nightlife and diversity that I have experienced in New York.
I'll admit the Bay Area is beautiful and with much better outdoors activities, but unfortunately this is not my main focus - I've lived in a few big European cities (like Paris, London) and loved them, and I guess NYC just feels more like this kind of city and lifestyle (even little things like being used to great public transport and subways for example, which SF is definitely lacking, and not being used to the unfortunate situation of the several homeless and mentally ill people roaming downtown SF!)
Also, if I do accept this offer and move to SF, I'll have to live there for at least a couple of years since this company has no NYC office and I'd therefore need to get a green card before being able to apply for a role in NY and move there.
At the same time, refusing this offer and trying to move to NYC seems crazy and a very risky idea, especially considering the fact that it's almost impossible to get visa sponsorship as an external candidate (and even after getting that, the H1B lottery is terrible!)
My question to you is therefore: Do I have a wrong, exaggerated idea of SF in my mind and I could actually be happy living there for a couple of years? Or being in SF if I love NYC will just make me miserable and sad and impatient to move?
Did anyone have a similar experience?
I also have this constant pressure in my mind about the fact that I have to live in/experience NYC before I turn 30, because that's the best age to enjoy the city and stay up until late, whereas later in my 30s I won't be interested anymore in this kind of things and I'll be fine with going to bed before midnight. Am I wrong on thinking it'd be more logical to experience NYC now and SF later? Did anybody move to NYC in their 30s and would like to share their thoughts?
Sorry for the long post and thank you in advance for your help,
When you want something as bad as the desire to live in NY there really aren’t any substitutes, it’s hard to compare any place in the US to NY...the energy, the power, the excitement the 24 hour feel it’s a totally different place from SF. But I’d think if you can get a good job offer in your field in SF I’m sure you can probably get one one in NY.
Unfortunately it is very difficult to answer this question for you. Like Koji said, there is a distinct and real possibility that NYC by the age of 30 is the only way you will feel satisfied and fulfilled. This could certainly be the case. But it is also possible that you would like SF quite a bit and it would be a satisfactory alternative for a few years or more.
For what it is worth, I personally agree that NYC stands alone as the best city, particularly in your late 20s. However, I would be perfectly happy with a great job in SF as well.
NYC is world class. You’re spot on. Not even close. Brooklyn, in a silo, could give SF a run for its money.
I’ve liked Chicago and now Boston more than SF as a city. SF is a better option than most, and I did enjoy my time there... but it’s certainly not Paris or London. NYC and Chi are really the only American cities in that class.
NYC is world class. You’re spot on. Not even close. Brooklyn, in a silo, could give SF a run for its money.
I’ve liked Chicago and now Boston more than SF as a city. SF is a better option than most, and I did enjoy my time there... but it’s certainly not Paris or London. NYC and Chi are really the only American cities in that class.
Chicago is a great city but it most certainly is not in the same class as NYC, London ir Paris.
I'm a 26 year old gay guy from LA. I went to college in SF. I live in Jersey City right now 10 minutes by subway to Manhattan. NYC. Easy answer.
More in depth answer:
I've always wanted to be in NYC. I settled with going to college in SF because I received a good scholarship. I thought it would be an acceptable replacement for a temporary time before moving to NYC. I was wrong. If you love NYC for everything there is to love about NYC, you cannot like SF. SF is not comparable to London or Paris. It is much more fun, lively, outgoing, etc. The culture is much more similar to London and Paris (also other major cities like Madrid, Barcelona, Berlin, Rome, etc.). SF is not as fun, outgoing, lively, etc. The public transportation in SF is much worse. The nightlife is very boring in comparison to both NYC and Europe.
You're young right now. Take the risk and try out NYC. When you're older, taking risks is much *riskier*. If you truly love NYC for all the greats (excellent public transit, 24/7 vibe, massive city, international population/dining, great nightlife, etc.) and accept it for all its flaws (expensive, hot summers, snowy winters, dirty trains, rats/cockroaches, etc.) there is no replacement for it in the US. You will not be as happy in SF.
You can send me a direct message if you want to talk more about this.
I've lived in both and thought my decision to do NYC in my 20's and SF is my early 30's was spot on. I would recommend getting NYC out of the way while you're younger because you'll always long for it from afar especially since you already desire to live there.
NYC is comparable to none other in the USA or even in Europe although Europe has it's own set of amazingly unique cities.
I agree unless you’re young and need to get it out of your system or very wealthy or patient and even then...it’s changed so much and not for the better over the last 20 or so years. It’s NOT at all like Seinfeld!
Both are of course good cities and you could do much worse in America. Both are expensive, but if that's not an issue then whatever. Being from Europe may be more of an advantage to you living in a place like NYC - mainly Manhattan. If you don't have a problem paying over $3000/mo for a 50 sq meter place in Manhattan, then no big deal. Just realize though that even renting in NYC can be crazy in the amount of things you have to give. Being an international person, you may have to pay more money up front. NYC all over the place has something called broker fees - my first place (I just moved from) in Upper West Side was about $2800/mo 1 bedroom and up front I paid over $11,000 cash for broker fee, and 2 month's rent (first month rent + security deposit of 1 month). Both cities have some energy, but the energy in NYC is tops out of anywhere. SF has some energy but not comparable. Both cities are international, but NYC is very international, moreso than SF in the city itself and you'll definitely feel it more I think.
Also, a good in between would be Chicago. It's 3 times bigger than SF in population, but 3 times smaller than NYC. It has a bit of energy, but less than NYC, but I'd say more than SF. Winters are a little colder than NYC but not by a ton. Of course, both places colder than SF - but both NYC and Chicago are warmer on average than SF in summer. I've lived in both Chicago and NYC and for sure enjoy the summers more in Chicago, but that's just me. There is a giant lake next to the city that is basically so big it's an inland sea with waves, and doesn't look like your standard lake (you can't see to the other side in other words and there's big boats on it). Varies per person of course. I've met many Europeans visit Chicago not knowing anything about it and then fall in love with it upon visiting. Good place - even though I live in NYC, there are definitely things I really miss.
I'd say go for SF and see how it goes. You may end up really loving it. So many people want to move to NYC but living somewhere is a lot different than visiting. You may realize that living here as a normal person that you don't like it as much (that actually happened with me - even though I still like it here a lot, don't get me wrong). It's the same as anywhere though - living somewhere is definitely much different than just visiting.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
