Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm in college now, and the things I see on the regular that aren't exactly the holiest of acts are sort of the norm as I'm sure you all can imagine on a college campus. A lot of times I wonder, if I had a daughter, would I let her go away to college?
Right now, I would say no without hesitation. It may be very hypocritical and I admit this because you say what about your son, but there is the double standard that although I do not support it, it is harder on girls and I would not want my daughter to succumb to the activities that would earn her a bad reputation. To be honest, I am not shaming these girls, but I am more worried for a girl like that as my daughter or sister for her own safety from judgement.
Since I have been in college, I have heard and seen girls make out with other guys and/or girls, found out about an instance where one girl gave oral sex to the football team as they stood in line and took turns (yes, she consented) and other acts that would have me faint if I were to know.
A lot of these girls are nice ones too, they are friendly but I see so many guys and girls judge the "wild" ones so harshly that I wouldn't ever in a million years want it to be my daughter that the guys say bad things about her when she walks by.
No disrespect to you all as adults and I am close to it, but this is a different world now, it is no secret that college is a setting for wild parties and other not too smart decisions and acts but I'm sure you all probably just consider her getting drunk at a party is the most you need to worry about.
Last edited by toobusytoday; 03-06-2014 at 03:55 PM..
Reason: No links for new posters, removed lewd sentence.
Most college students are 18, and can make their own choices, so you may not have the option of controlling what your daughter does at that age.
I would and am sending my daughter to live in a dorm in the fall. I have done everything in my power to raise her to be a strong, caring, and intelligent young lady who knows right from wrong. She is going to a top college with a great reputation and will be rooming with a friend she has known for over 7 years.
Of course nothing is 100%, but there comes a time when you, as a parent, have to let go and trust your child to make the right choices. As much as we would like to, we can't keep them away from temptations forever.
I am sure that you are aware that girls like sex just as much as guys. I don't see why a parent would have a problem with their daughter engaging in sexual activity OF HER CHOOSING when she is an adult any more than they would have a problem if their son did it. Women are very well aware that being a sexually confident person makes them a '****' in some people's eyes. Some women simply don't care.
This thread has been moved from the Parenting forum. It was closed by the Parenting mod to allow me time to review it before opening it here in the college forum. We're good to go now!
If a daughter is acting like the OP describes in college then her parents didn't do their job while she was growing up at home. After she's grown and ready to attend college isn't the time to be making decisions about letting her go to college and live in the dorms. Parents should have been preparing her for that during the 18 years they had her at home and shaped her moral compass then.
Not allowing her to be an adult because you failed to do your job as a parent when she was a child isn't going to solve anything. Your chance was when you had her at home, now it is her turn to make the decisions as to how she lives her life.
I'm in college now, and the things I see on the regular that aren't exactly the holiest of acts are sort of the norm as I'm sure you all can imagine on a college campus. A lot of times I wonder, if I had a daughter, would I let her go away to college?
Right now, I would say no without hesitation. It may be very hypocritical and I admit this because you say what about your son, but there is the double standard that although I do not support it, it is harder on girls and I would not want my daughter to succumb to the activities that would earn her a bad reputation. To be honest, I am not shaming these girls, but I am more worried for a girl like that as my daughter or sister for her own safety from judgement.
Since I have been in college, I have heard and seen girls make out with other guys and/or girls, found out about an instance where one girl gave oral sex to the football team as they stood in line and took turns (yes, she consented) and other acts that would have me faint if I were to know.
A lot of these girls are nice ones too, they are friendly but I see so many guys and girls judge the "wild" ones so harshly that I wouldn't ever in a million years want it to be my daughter that the guys say "she gave me head" when she walks by.
No disrespect to you all as adults and I am close to it, but this is a different world now, it is no secret that college is a setting for wild parties and other not too smart decisions and acts but I'm sure you all probably just consider her getting drunk at a party is the most you need to worry about. It's worse, trains have been ran, oral sex given out openly and all with consent and this could be ours which is scary.
"Succumb to activities"?! Women with good self-esteem don't "succumb". They make choices, and if you've raised them well, they make healthy, good choices. College is a setting for wild parties, but you're not noticing all the women who choose not to participate, and don't attend the parties. You're focussing on the sensational cases (what does this say about you?) College is also a setting for study, clubs and organized activities, and part-time employment. Focus on the positive.
They say the best inoculation against risky behavior in girls is a good relationship with the girls' dad. Don't abandon your kids to their peer group, be involved in their lives. Share cuddles when they're small (and be there for them even in infancy), take them on weekend activities, set standards for their school achievement, be a leader. Be someone they can turn to when they have questions and concerns. Keep it up through the teen years. Model a healthy relationship with their mother. All of that is like money in the bank. You'll see the reward as she approaches and grows into adulthood.
Why aren't you hanging out with the intellectual types, or the girls who aren't into partying, OP? I can assure you that there are women students who don't even have an interest in sex yet. I guess, for obvious reasons, you wouldn't be interested in those...?
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 03-05-2014 at 12:10 PM..
A one-post-wonder with such a post. Break out the popcorn please.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
