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As pathetic as it is, there really is no reason the mother shouldnt be allowed to sit in as well. It never bothered me, but I can see how some young college kids can be intimidated by meeting with a college professor.
I have to disagree. Mom can be a sounding board to help her son prepare to meet with the professor if she'd like, but has no business being part of the conversation. Being an adult puts us all in situations where we feel uncomfortable or intimidated. If a student of this age has not yet learned the life skill of advocating for themselves, they need to learn it ASAP. He might as well start with this.
One possibility is that the student is a very high functioning person with some sort of learning disability, such as a mild form of Asperger's. The student just may not be equipped for handling contacting a professor to initiate a discussion or handling the discussion himself. Professors don't get copies of IEPs and they have no training on how to deal with students who may have a fairly "mild" learning disability that can have some impact on the student handling a class or adjusting to college life. The student could also have a mild mental health disability, including a social anxiety disorder. When we go to a doctor, it is perfectly acceptable to bring someone with you to discuss medical issues. Having another set of eyes and ears is often helpful, especially when under stress. Of course, the student would have to agree to having the presence of a parent during the meeting or give a heads up to the professor that his parent will be calling.
We have many policies for the education of children with disabilities, but we really don't have much set in place for adults. And with the rise of Autism, we will be experiencing more conflicts in legalities as the school-aged children enter adulthood.
I rather wish that the age of majority reverted back to age 21 instead of 18. 18-21 year olds really are children, no matter what the law says. But I understand why the age was lowered.
One possibility is that the student is a very high functioning person with some sort of learning disability, such as a mild form of Asperger's. The student just may not be equipped for handling contacting a professor to initiate a discussion or handling the discussion himself. Professors don't get copies of IEPs and they have no training on how to deal with students who may have a fairly "mild" learning disability that can have some impact on the student handling a class or adjusting to college life. The student could also have a mild mental health disability, including a social anxiety disorder. When we go to a doctor, it is perfectly acceptable to bring someone with you to discuss medical issues. Having another set of eyes and ears is often helpful, especially when under stress. Of course, the student would have to agree to having the presence of a parent during the meeting or give a heads up to the professor that his parent will be calling.
We have many policies for the education of children with disabilities, but we really don't have much set in place for adults. And with the rise of Autism, we will be experiencing more conflicts in legalities as the school-aged children enter adulthood.
I rather wish that the age of majority reverted back to age 21 instead of 18. 18-21 year olds really are children, no matter what the law says. But I understand why the age was lowered.
Is mommy going to go to his job performance review or termination meeting? When you spare children from falling they never learn how to pick themselves up.
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Is mommy going to go to his job performance review or termination meeting? When you spare children from falling they never learn how to pick themselves up.
I know you are joking, but yes...this has happened. More common with people from certain cultures.
Nope, nope, nope. Time for the special snowflake to grow up. I do not care if there is some learning issue or a disability - jr must learn how to self advocate at some point. College is the perfect time to do so.
When I taught at a university, I got constant emails from one parent. I remember this one very well...
"Susie Q isn't in class today because she is at home. She had a bad break up with her boyfriend. If you could consider this an excused absence, that would be great".
I basically replied saying "please refer to the course syllabus as the policy for absences is clearly stated."
As pathetic as it is, there really is no reason the mother shouldnt be allowed to sit in as well. It never bothered me, but I can see how some young college kids can be intimidated by meeting with a college professor.
It is the student's education, not the parent's.
This would be like saying, "I see no reason why a mother shouldn't be allowed to sit in on a termination meeting with their child."
This is the prerogative of the instructor, and if they instructor says no, the case is closed.
I get so annoyed when I speak to parents or students that are so unsatisfied with my response that they go over my head only to get the same response from upper administration.
The fact that parents may still be supporting their children by paying for tuition et al. makes no difference in terms of the student's legal status.
Except it makes a very big difference in that thing called FAFSA. Even if I refused to pay a single dime toward their education, the financial system still considers my resources in financial aid. Yet at the same time considers them as full legal adults where the parents have no rights except to pay.
Now to the question at hand. My DD would be mortified, and basically totally PO'd at me if I ever did such a thing. I didn't intercede when the coach made 'em run laps when she was a kid, so why would I now that she's an adult.
I teach college and I have taught high school, so I completely understand the OP's incredulity at the mother's insistence, as I am very aware of the differences between high school and college.
One of those differences--the major one, I should say--is that college students are legal adults. As such, they are treated as such. This means that, legally, the professor cannot discuss issues relating to student performance with parents because he or she would be breaking the law. As a legal adult, the student must now take responsibility for his or her performance in a classroom.
The fact that parents may still be supporting their children by paying for tuition et al. makes no difference in terms of the student's legal status.
Grades are also mailed to the student only and not shared with the parents in my experience.
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