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It is that time of year when the High School Graduation Announcements are distributed by excited parents, and a common thread of conversations is "Where will your graduate attend college?"
At my wife's school, most parents are responding that their child will attend the State University 4 miles from home, or the Community College 5 miles from home. I realize the significant savings possible (not guaranteed) by attending Community College for two years and then transferring to a 4-year university, but within all of these comments are the words, "They do not want to be far from home."
My take in this comment is either over-controlling parents, or children who have decided to forego their own growth as individuals just to have free TV, their own bedroom, possibly their own bathroom, and choice in meals served daily.
What a waste of lives if it is a decision to not grow as individuals, and believing that everything life has to offer is experienced by age 18.
I actually think college is too important to be wasted 'exploring' or 'going somewhere across the country to party for 4 years'.
However, I'd have no problem whatsoever with my child skipping college and trying to find themselves by living in another place and trying to be a musician, actor, or try and do some odd jobs in various places (hospital, corporate workplace, trade) to figure out what they do and do not like BEFORE going to college.
The big, big mistake most parents make is forcing their kids to go to college before they have any idea of what they want to do.
I actually think college is too important to be wasted 'exploring' or 'going somewhere across the country to party for 4 years'.
I think that's idea of kids partying for 4 years is a cute meme, but it's not really true. Oh sure, there might be some, but the vast majority really are there to learn something. They know the cost and value of what they're getting. Mostly you might find a lot of freshmen just let loose from their parents who try the party life, but they learn pretty quickly that partying and college don't mix. Instead of partying, a lot are working part time to help pay for it.
My kids go to parties and bars regularly. They also volunteer, get excellent grades, hold down jobs/internships, and are involved in the campus community. Not at all mutually exclusive.
It is that time of year when the High School Graduation Announcements are distributed by excited parents, and a common thread of conversations is "Where will your graduate attend college?"
At my wife's school, most parents are responding that their child will attend the State University 4 miles from home, or the Community College 5 miles from home. I realize the significant savings possible (not guaranteed) by attending Community College for two years and then transferring to a 4-year university, but within all of these comments are the words, "They do not want to be far from home."
My take in this comment is either over-controlling parents, or children who have decided to forego their own growth as individuals just to have free TV, their own bedroom, possibly their own bathroom, and choice in meals served daily.
What a waste of lives if it is a decision to not grow as individuals, and believing that everything life has to offer is experienced by age 18.
Wait, why would having free TV, no roommate, and a private bathroom be bad? What does going to college out of state have to do with anything? Family is important, staying near them is not a bad thing.
I didn't stay near home for college, but I understand why many would want to.
Avoiding debt/loans is HUGE. Maybe that helps them grow more because they aren't a slave to it, and can pursue passions, non-profits, or other things, instead of just income.
I actually think college is too important to be wasted 'exploring' or 'going somewhere across the country to party for 4 years'.
However, I'd have no problem whatsoever with my child skipping college and trying to find themselves by living in another place and trying to be a musician, actor, or try and do some odd jobs in various places (hospital, corporate workplace, trade) to figure out what they do and do not like BEFORE going to college.
The big, big mistake most parents make is forcing their kids to go to college before they have any idea of what they want to do.
Yet, year after year...
I wish I could give you 10,000 reputation points! I work daily with people who got degrees they didn't want, don't work in those fields, and are saddled with debt from loans, are looking to start over because mom/dad/society rushed them into college.
I will agree, it is sad that some kids don't want to be far from home and I think even if they are staying in state it's a good idea to go further from home. The pathetic aspect of this is the kids who move back home and leech after college. Any more it seems that kids stay in their hometown or very close and keep their high school clique going in college and for the rest of their lives when they move right back in with their parents.
Why is it pathetic? Many kids aren’t ready to leave home. For many, it’s often the expenses. I had one family friend who went to a local private school because she needed a smaller class size but quickly realized that living in her own apartment was just too expensive. I don’t think that’s pathetic at all to decide she didn’t want to have to work full-time and go to school full-time in order to limit her student loans. My BIL went to the local school because it is #1 in his field and it made absolutely no sense to go somewhere else. I have another friend who went to school in her hometown because it’s also a very strong school in her field of study and it made little sense for her to go away just to go away when the local option is so strong.
Others simply aren’t ready. I know plenty of people who tried to go away for college and it didn’t work out. They either didn’t have the money for it, weren’t mature enough for it and flunked out, or they realized that the place they chose was way too different from their hometown in terms of area personality and was not a good fit. These people are not young now- one is in her 60s and the rest are in their 30s-40s. There is no reason to go to a far away college just because you think that is what you should be doing.
I agree with the general point the OP is trying to make, but the way he states it comes off kind of snarky and judgmental.
I went to college 5 states, 350 miles, and a 6 hour drive/1 hour flight away from home. When things got hard, I couldn't just run home to Mom and Dad to hide out. I had to do it on my own, and I felt like I matured a lot during those four years in learning to do for myself. Since I had no family around, my friends became my new family and that created friendships that will last a lifetime.
The one big thing I had going for me was money. I was lucky in the fact that my parents could afford to pay to send me that far away and it not really be much of an issue. A lot of people don't have the luxury, and in that sense staying close to home is a more viable option for them. Although I always tell people who ask that breaking away from your old life back home in college is a critical lesson in learning how to be an adult. If you can do it, I always suggest you do.
Wait, why would having free TV, no roommate, and a private bathroom be bad?
It's bad if it means the student will expect that standard of living after graduation when he may not be able to afford it on an entry-level salary (especially if he then overspends and goes into debt to keep up the lifestyle he feels he deserves). There's some education to be had in enduring "student poverty."
It's bad if it means the student will expect that standard of living after graduation when he may not be able to afford it on an entry-level salary (especially if he then overspends and goes into debt to keep up the lifestyle he feels he deserves). There's some education to be had in enduring "student poverty."
Student poverty? Have you seen modern dorms?? They lack for nothing.
The problem I have with the OP's statement, is the fact that he assumes that the decision to stay home is driven primarily by the student wanting to stay comfortable. Here are some quick facts I dug up from the web.
Around 70 percent of college students rely on student loans to pay at least part of their educational costs, according to CNBC.
“More than 90 percent of private student loans to undergraduate students and more than 75 percent of private student loans to graduate students require a creditworthy co-signer, which is usually the parent,” said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher and VP of strategy at Cappex.
So just with that info, you can see that parents are generally on the hook for their child's college expenses, either directly, or through co-signing, unless they are low income and qualify for financial aid. Most parents are middle class, to lower middle class. If their child drops out and defaults, it could lead to financial ruin. I don't begrudge them at all for wanting to make sure that college is as cheap as possible, especially since their financial security is on the line.
I know personally, that my 4 kids will have to pay their own way through college. My wife and I won't be co-signing on anything. I know too many people who have lost their retirement because their child dropped out and they were left with the bill, once a lien was placed on their home, and the collection agency started garnishing their wages.
My wife is a college drop out, and we just recently paid off her loans. Unfortunately, her mother co-signed on her loans, and wasn't able to pay them off. It destroyed her credit. I went to technical school on a scholarship, and then into the military, so I never had any student debt. My children will similarly need to find their own way. They of course would be welcome to stay at home during college or tech school, if they choose that path.
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