Inappropriate to ask new college grads if they have a job yet? (skill, high school)

[bostonguy1960]

I realize it's natural to ask a new college grad, even on the day of graduation, if they've found a legitimate job yet.

But I find it intrusive and awkward, especially if they don't have an offer yet.

Isn't it best to just let them inform people when they want to?

Or, maybe ask one of their guests or family members at the graduation party if they've heard about a job offer?

[NDak15]

Originally Posted by bostonguy1960

I realize it's natural to ask a new college grad, even on the day of graduation, if they've found a legitimate job yet.

But I find it intrusive and awkward, especially if they don't have an offer yet.

Isn't it best to just let them inform people when they want to?

Or, maybe ask one of their guests or family members at the graduation party if they've heard about a job offer?

It's annoying as **** to be asked if you have a job yet in any situation, whether it's a college grad or someone job hunting. It's also an EXTREMELY stressful time as the person may need to relocate and are possibly uprooting. When they get a job they will tell you. I got harassed about whether I had a job or not three weeks after college and the same thing happened when I was last on a job hunt. It just added to the stress.

[nurider2002]

I simply congratulate them for their accomplishment and ask them what their future plans are. But then everyone I know who graduated in recent years either found a job quickly or was headed to grad school.

[MinivanDriver]

Originally Posted by bostonguy1960

I realize it's natural to ask a new college grad, even on the day of graduation, if they've found a legitimate job yet.

But I find it intrusive and awkward, especially if they don't have an offer yet.

Isn't it best to just let them inform people when they want to?

Or, maybe ask one of their guests or family members at the graduation party if they've heard about a job offer?

Just let them enjoy the moment.



That's like asking newlyweds at their reception when they'll have the first child.

[BirdieBelle]

As with most things, appropriateness depends on the way you ask the question.

The word "yet" implies that they should have a job by now. Just ask something general like, "What's next for you?"

Mostly focus on the day and celebrating the accomplishments he's achieved, not "the next thing."

[stan4]

Oh, geez...so now we can't express interest in their future plans?
So don't ask high school grads what their next move is? I'm guessing asking which college they're headed to is out.

Weird. I don't think I would have been offended by this question.

I'll have to think about this more.

[charolastra00]

I work with college students, including covering their commencement, so I'm around lots of conversations about what's next.

Rather than ask if they have a job yet, I ask them what I can do to help them as they enter this next phase of their life and specifically offer to help proof cover letters or resumes, request that they add me on LinkedIn to connect with my network, and offer to give an informational interview. In the past 2 weeks, I've met with about a dozen graduating seniors so they could ask questions about my career path, what I see as being priorities and skill gaps in my industry, and find ways to connect them with people I know in fields that I am not in who might help them along. In the past few years, I'm really proud to say that at least 5 graduating college or grad students have found jobs through people they met in my network. I have to believe this little bit of investment now will only help me out in the future.

Job hunting is STRESSFUL - especially for that first professional job - and I'd prefer to sate my curiosity by offering assistance. I know I had next to no help in that regard when I graduated and so it's easy for me as a professional adult to pay it forward. If they already have a job, they'll generally tell me.

[heart84]

Originally Posted by bostonguy1960

I realize it's natural to ask a new college grad, even on the day of graduation, if they've found a legitimate job yet.

But I find it intrusive and awkward, especially if they don't have an offer yet.

Isn't it best to just let them inform people when they want to?

Or, maybe ask one of their guests or family members at the graduation party if they've heard about a job offer?

Instead ask them how long they plan on living with their parents and you will have a pretty good indication. The common answers these days of 35-60 usually mean no gainful employment.

[charolastra00]

Originally Posted by heart84

Instead ask them how long they plan on living with their parents and you will have a pretty good indication. The common answers these days of 35-60 usually mean no gainful employment.

How incredibly rude.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by stan4

Oh, geez...so now we can't express interest in their future plans?

I haven't seen anyone suggest that?

Originally Posted by stan4

So don't ask high school grads what their next move is?

This ^^ is the exact thing I suggested he should say.

Originally Posted by stan4

I'm guessing asking which college they're headed to is out.

I wouldn't, because it assumes they are going to college. Not all HS graduates do.

Originally Posted by stan4

Weird. I don't think I would have been offended by this question.

Because you are a high achiever.

People who don't follow traditional academic paths or who have doubts about their future themselves, especially in high school, can feel like they're not living up to expectations already when faced with unintentionally presumptuous questions by well-meaning relatives or family friends.

Asking a very general question just takes some pressure off the situation. That's all.