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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 9 days ago)
35,635 posts, read 17,975,706 times
Reputation: 50665
As horrible as it is, we learned during the civil war that maggots only eat diseased flesh, and were used to treat infection because they cleaned out the dead cells and left the healthy cells to heal.
So of all the awfulness of this story, maybe that's not such a bad thing.
I can't believe I just typed that.
Edited to add: I just read this story, and there's nothing positive here. I can't see charging the 2 with abuse of a disabled woman, they're living no better themselves. If she were disabled and starved to death, I'd feel differently. As it is, I'm not sure our court system needs to be involved in people who live this depraved an existence.
She was on a stretcher sling called a "mega mover", and delivered there a couple months ago by EMTs. She was still on the sling thing exactly where she was placed by EMTs. How was this family supposed to move her? This article doesn't state how heavy she was, but she was h e a v y. I wonder what was expected of this family who are incapable of running their lives in a normal manner.
Charging the men isn't going to help this woman. The situation is sad. She has chosen to live her life like this. She is known to the system. They can put her in an assisted/group home type situation. Until she decides to make a change, she won't change. The men are kind of stuck. They can quit enabling, but they are still in an unhealthy situation.
Charging the men isn't going to help this woman. The situation is sad. She has chosen to live her life like this. She is known to the system. They can put her in an assisted/group home type situation. Until she decides to make a change, she won't change. The men are kind of stuck. They can quit enabling, but they are still in an unhealthy situation.
Hmmm, their loved one was found unconscious and near death, with decomposing skin/wounds on her legs and covered in maggots and cockroaches and you are blaming HER. Blaming HER! "Until SHE decides to make a change, SHE won't change."
Have you considered that her husband and son could have called 911 a lot sooner or told the hospital that they were unable to care for her anymore at home. Have you considered that "money was tight" because neither the father or son had a job?
She has chosen to live her life like this? ?? She has chosen to be near death? ?? She has chosen to have untreated wounds on her legs? ?? She has chosen to be unconscious? ?? You do not know this woman's back story and you are putting the blame on her? ! ? !
Have you ever been a caregiver?
Disclaimer: I was a caregiver for many years and I took my job very seriously. I did not blame my husband for his dementia, I did not blame my husband for his traumatic brain injury, I did not blame him for having a stroke, I did not blame him for his various health issues. I did not blame him for being disabled.
Poor woman, this is just unbelievable and too awful to really think about. There must be major mental illness involved, normal people would not voluntarily live in conditions like this. Even if money is tight, being poor does not prevent cleanliness. Poor EMT's too, the gross-out factor must have been off the charts.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 9 days ago)
35,635 posts, read 17,975,706 times
Reputation: 50665
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatTX
Poor woman, this is just unbelievable and too awful to really think about. There must be major mental illness involved, normal people would not voluntarily live in conditions like this. Even if money is tight, being poor does not prevent cleanliness. Poor EMT's too, the gross-out factor must have been off the charts.
I'm surprised I'm still in this thread, because it makes my stomach turn to water. Yuck.
I don't see how you can keep someone clean that you can't lift. I don't know enough about the system to know whether you can just throw up your hands and say we can't deal with her anymore, take her, please. You have to have money for that, don't you? It seems if it were that easy to do that would have been done months ago when the EMTs dropped her off. (Not that I blame them at all, but what was supposed to happen here?)
Sure, they could walk away and desert her. And then they'd probably be charged with a crime for that, I don't know.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 9 days ago)
35,635 posts, read 17,975,706 times
Reputation: 50665
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
Hmmm, their loved one was found unconscious and near death, with decomposing skin/wounds on her legs and covered in maggots and cockroaches and you are blaming HER. Blaming HER! "Until SHE decides to make a change, SHE won't change."
Have you considered that her husband and son could have called 911 a lot sooner or told the hospital that they were unable to care for her anymore at home. Have you considered that "money was tight" because neither the father or son had a job?
She has chosen to live her life like this? ?? She has chosen to be near death? ?? She has chosen to have untreated wounds on her legs? ?? She has chosen to be unconscious? ?? You do not know this woman's back story and you are putting the blame on her? ! ? !
Have you ever been a caregiver?
Disclaimer: I was a caregiver for many years and I took my job very seriously. I did not blame my husband for his dementia, I did not blame my husband for his traumatic brain injury, I did not blame him for having a stroke, I did not blame him for his various health issues. I did not blame him for being disabled.
Germaine, I usually agree with your posts but you're kind of shooting in the wrong direction here, IMHO.
Yes, someone who is too big to move with normal equipment should be held to a standard of accountability for their size.
I'm sorry for what happened to your husband, but it really doesn't sound like any of that was his lifestyle choice. And getting hugely obese isn't a one month thing, or even a one year thing. It takes years to get so large that you are immovable and special equipment has to be brought in to lift you up. I know the vow is in sickness and health, but this person would make me question my vows if I were her spouse.
I'm surprised I'm still in this thread, because it makes my stomach turn to water. Yuck.
I don't see how you can keep someone clean that you can't lift. I don't know enough about the system to know whether you can just throw up your hands and say we can't deal with her anymore, take her, please. You have to have money for that, don't you? It seems if it were that easy to do that would have been done months ago when the EMTs dropped her off. (Not that I blame them at all, but what was supposed to happen here?)
Sure, they could walk away and desert her. And then they'd probably be charged with a crime for that, I don't know.
I can understand not being able to keep the woman 100% clean, but to let her deteriorate to that extent?? That's a whole other level of neglect. And it doesn't take money to contact social services and tell them you are unable to provide care for a relative. She could have been admitted to a state-run nursing home instead of being left to rot in her own waste. Plus, the article stated the house was filled with trash and infested with cockroaches. Why didn't they clean that up?
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 9 days ago)
35,635 posts, read 17,975,706 times
Reputation: 50665
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatTX
I can understand not being able to keep the woman 100% clean, but to let her deteriorate to that extent?? That's a whole other level of neglect. And it doesn't take money to contact social services and tell them you are unable to provide care for a relative. She could have been admitted to a state-run nursing home instead of being left to rot in her own waste. Plus, the article stated the house was filled with trash and infested with cockroaches. Why didn't they clean that up?
I don't know the answer to your questions - but if you could just off load a relative you don't feel like caring for anymore, with no money, it seems a LOT of people would do it.
Did they know that was an option - if in fact it actually is an option - to just say come get her please and keep her forever, we can't pay? You see people living on the street in filth and squalor, and no one is stepping up and saying we'll take care of you, free.
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Poor woman, this is just unbelievable and too awful to really think about. There must be major mental illness involved, normal people would not voluntarily live in conditions like this. Even if money is tight, being poor does not prevent cleanliness. Poor EMT's too, the gross-out factor must have been off the charts.
