School and extra activities with parents (eat, kids, near)

[Stevehanrahan41]

Originally Posted by DitsyD

Room parents help the teachers. They cut out letters for bulletin boards. They stand in the copy room and make copies for the teachers. They put together and staple booklets that the teachers need. Whatever busy work that the teachers have, they can ask the room parent to assist. Why wouldn't they be popular with teachers?

I know generally in my experience the room parents I've seen, have all felt like they were the focus of attention and not the teacher. I've seen wayyy to many pain in the arse ones.

[Stevehanrahan41]

Originally Posted by Aceraceae

What is a room parent?

I googled it. Seems like a way stay at home moms wedged their way into the classroom. I'm sure that won't be be popular.

I'll ask my sister in law if she has these things as an elementary teacher.

From my experience this is spot on.

[DitsyD]

Originally Posted by nitynity

Our son started going to elementary and we have been getting notifications about various stuff they conduct at school that needs parental participation. We are new to these and just curios if most parents go for these type of stuffs on weekdays taking time out of work. They have something coming up called 'Desert with dad'. I know it's good to do these kinda fun stuff but how could they expect working parents to attend these functions? May be I am new to the school thing and kind of anxious about these activities. What's the norm? Plz advice.

Studies have shown that parental involvement helps the students perform better. If your school is scheduling these activities, it is apparent that they want the parents involved at school and that parents must be showing up (or the events and activities would have died a quick death). Send an email to the principal and ask how many parents do participate.


You chose to have a child and you chose to live in the neighborhood with this school. If you don't attend events with the other parents, your child will notice and ask why not.

This in part is why living near to where you work is mentioned often in this forum. Parents need to be close to school to attend functions and parent/teacher meetings. You can see how often members post about finding the right school and how family involvement/expectation is mentioned as a component in school rankings.

This is the norm ~ for most posters on this forum.

[TurtleCreek80]

Originally Posted by DitsyD

Room parents help the teachers. They cut out letters for bulletin boards. They stand in the copy room and make copies for the teachers. They put together and staple booklets that the teachers need. Whatever busy work that the teachers have, they can ask the room parent to assist. Why wouldn't they be popular with teachers?

Yup. And furthermore, room parents aren't a new concept. My mom was one back in the early 1980's.

[BLDSoon]

Its hard, but find a way to make it to the important ones and don't feel like a failure for not making it to Every. Single. Event.
If you can delegate some to extended family thats a great way to go. Grandparents love to be involved that way.

My child's school is good about giving us a lot of notice for events so i can plan in advance but even then I cant always make it to each and every one.

As for room parents ( and my opinion won't be popular) i find them a nuisance that i have to put up with. I really wish the classrooms can go back to being the teachers domain already. Parental involvement in education does not have to mean PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT IN EDUCATION. Lol.... Okay,i'll go to confession now..

[MurphyPl1]

If you can't make everything (and hardly any one can), find out what fires up your kid. is it seeing you at the spirit assembly? or having lunch on WatchDAWG day? You kid might honestly not care if you don't make all school stuff but be there for a class party.

[Aceraceae]

Originally Posted by BLDSoon

Its hard, but find a way to make it to the important ones and don't feel like a failure for not making it to Every. Single. Event.
If you can delegate some to extended family thats a great way to go. Grandparents love to be involved that way.

My child's school is good about giving us a lot of notice for events so i can plan in advance but even then I cant always make it to each and every one.

As for room parents ( and my opinion won't be popular) i find them a nuisance that i have to put up with. I really wish the classrooms can go back to being the teachers domain already. Parental involvement in education does not have to mean PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT IN EDUCATION. Lol.... Okay,i'll go to confession now..

I would never ask or want my parents to be involved in anything related to school other than extracurricular events.

This is a quote from my SIL who teaches elementary in East Texas.

We call them room moms

And we have a sign up at the beginning of the year. It's usually the Moms that don't work or the wealthy moms that want to spend money on the class

They are your dependable helpers. They go on field trips to be an extra hand, the help at parties, bring stuff to parties, they volunteer their time in the classroom, if you need something for your classroom they are usually the ones willing to make it or buy it, they are usually your ones that supply the class with snack, they will read to the kids on a regular basis. Yes we have aides but they don't really do much other than make your copies. They are assigned to other things. They come on certain days of the week and watch our classes during our center time so we can work with struggling students but that's about all they do.

[BLDSoon]

Originally Posted by Aceraceae

I would never ask or want my parents to be involved in anything related to school other than extracurricular events.

This is a quote from my SIL who teaches elementary in East Texas.

We call them room moms

And we have a sign up at the beginning of the year. It's usually the Moms that don't work or the wealthy moms that want to spend money on the class

They are your dependable helpers. They go on field trips to be an extra hand, the help at parties, bring stuff to parties, they volunteer their time in the classroom, if you need something for your classroom they are usually the ones willing to make it or buy it, they are usually your ones that supply the class with snack, they will read to the kids on a regular basis. Yes we have aides but they don't really do much other than make your copies. They are assigned to other things. They come on certain days of the week and watch our classes during our center time so we can work with struggling students but that's about all they do.

Please dont get me wrong, I understand why the TEACHERS feel they are invaluable. As a parent however i've had to deal with some very overbearing, way-too-present-in-the-classroom room parents. A close friend volunteered to be one last year for her daughter's class in our school and her version is that they not only help out in the classroom, they are the covert operatives of the PTA.( lol)They take note of EVERYTHING. And then they go to the administration with their list of urgent demands( organic lunches for the entire school....yes we are gmo free....ORGANIC, why is that gap in the fence that's a security breach, which teachers have questionable attitudes, creating a list of approved snacks since the gluten kids are sharing with the non-gluten kids...UGH, making shopkins contraband- that one passed) And they will discuss these issues with anyone that has five minutes... Or ten, or 20 at drop off or pick up.

I mean they throw the kids fabulous parties and they are invaluable in lots of ways hence why i used the term 'put up with' I'm resigned to the fact that we need them but my goodness. Exhausting is the word that comes to mind.

[TheOverdog]

I mean they throw the kids fabulous parties and they are invaluable in lots of ways hence why i used the term 'put up with' I'm resigned to the fact that we need them but my goodness.

If you want a good laugh at the hate room moms can create, then look up an story called "Framed" in the LA Times. It's a true story about a family getting revenge against a room mom for a minor slight and it's hilarious.

[JTC Mom]

I have three kids in elementary school and have, at various times been a full-time working mom almost never able to attend events and, in other years, room mom and PTA president.

Ask the teacher for a schedule of events so you can prioritze which ones (ideally at least one per semester) to attend. In my experience at six different schools over the last 8 years, by far the most important event to attend is the mother's day tea/father's day events the kids put on in May. Every school we have attended has this type of event. They plan that event for you and you should make every effort to attend.

Next most important would be any other event that explicitly calls for parent-student joint participation, e.g a family picnic, if your school has one. If there isn't another family event at your school, I recommend volunteering to chaperone one field trip in the fall and attend the mothers/fathers day event in the spring.


Class parties are way less important IMHO but of course kids love to see you whenever you can make it to school.

Another way to get to know other kids and parents in class is to organize or host a get together for the kids of your child's gender. For example, in my daughter's class one mom is having all 11 girls and moms over one Sunday afternoon. If you can't host at your home, invite others to join you at Chick fila or ice cream place or someplace that the kids like to go. Everyone pays their own way and the moms and kids get to spend a little time together outside of school.

It is hard to balance work and school but you can do it! Good luck!