City vs. Suburb for Raising Kids (Dallas, Plano: big house, neighborhoods, private schools)

[jtrichel]

My wife and I were having a healthy debate about this recently, so I figured we might not be the only family to ever ask the question. Which is better for raising kids - suburbs or city? For purposes of our debate, we were defining "suburb" as Southlake, Plano, Coppell, etc. And defining "city" as North Dallas. You could substitute others in either case.

Suburb pros: safe, quiet, sidewalks, parks, rec leagues, neighborhood kids, sense of community, good public schools, "breathing" room.

Suburb cons: commute times to city, sterile/new feel, lack of diversity, "super sized" public schools

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City pros: diversity of people and experiences, shorter commute times, great private school options, potentially better home appreciation (location location location)

City cons: "bad" (in many cases) public schools, lack of community feel, lack of sidewalks/parks, potentially higher crime, less house for $, congested w/lots of people, traffic, etc.

[Spree]

jtrichel - Where do you live? City or Suburb?

We chose to live in the city for the 10 min commute for my husband rather than a 20-30 min or more commute. It has increased our family's quality of life. Sure we compromised the big house for a smaller house, but it's nice when the land under your house appreciates at a higher rate than the house itself.

[pepper131]

A lot depends on what your value for you and your family.

I live in an East Dallas neighborhood and just as I was about to type a reply here, my neighbor yoo-hoo'd so I'd come outside and chat while she walked her dogs. That's community and we feel safe here.

[TXNGL]

We're in North Dallas near PH, what Pepper just said happens in our neighborhood, too. Our friends in the suburbs don't really know their neighbors, but I'm sure that can vary.
It's funny that you mention "breathing room" as a suburb pro. I feel we have much more breathing room south of LBJ. Many of us have larger lots than you find in the typical suburban neighborhood, for example. My lot is not huge by any stretch of the imagination, but it's at least twice as large as our friends' lots up north. We have a real front yard, big enough for games, a back yard with a pool (the pool doesn't take up the whole space) and lots of green space on either side of the house, many trees. That varies, as well. I know there are places up north where you can large lots but they also tend to come with a huge house, which I really don't want.

Schools, of course, vary. North Dallas and East Dallas have some of the best public neighborhood schools in DISD. There are also the award winning magnets.

[jtrichel]

Originally Posted by Spree

jtrichel - Where do you live? City or Suburb?

We chose to live in the city for the 10 min commute for my husband rather than a 20-30 min or more commute. It has increased our family's quality of life. Sure we compromised the big house for a smaller house, but it's nice when the land under your house appreciates at a higher rate than the house itself.

We live in Southlake. We are on 1+acre. There are lots of things we love about it here, some we dont. There are many things that have us thinking about moving to North Dallas, but some other things that we dont think we would like. Hence our pros/cons lists...

The post about having a neighborhood feel in PH area is encouraging. From just driving around there, we would have never gotten that impression. Not sure where kids would ride bikes with no sidewalks, a lot of kids going to different private schools so not as much of the kids knowing each other and playing together, etc. We do love the private school options in that area...I suppose its all a trade-off.

[pepper131]

My older son goes to a magnet high school in DISD - more of a specialized school and he tends to hang out more with those kids who live all over Dallas (I drive a lot!). He doesn't mesh well with the kids in our own neighborhood who tend to be more athletic types. Regardless, your kids will make friends no matter where they are, but you may lose that "kids running in the neighborhood" feel.

But for us, the trade off is better for our family. We are attracted to the ease of being able to hop into the car and be downtown/arts district/ etc in 10 minutes after we hear about a great "goings-on" on KERA's Art and Seek.

I was recently in Allen at a friend's house where all the moms were talking about this sports activity and that one. There is a real community of like-minded families in the suburbs if that is the type of outing you prefer. I kept my mouth shut about the zine workshop we had participated in as a family knowing nobody would know what I was talking about, but that was our recent family outing.

It really comes down to your wants/needs for your family. One is not better than the other since we are all different. I know where my place called home is to provide my kids and family with an interesting, creative, off the beaten path view of the world. That's what I value; I like to open eyes...(and be w/in an easy drive of it!).

[jtrichel]

Pepper, thanks for the thoughtful responses. But you have highlighted a concern we have about living closer into Dallas. If you are always in the car shuttling around to different friends houses because the kids go to different schools, doesnt that counter some of the benefit of living close-in?
People always talk about commute times from the suburbs, but that is only if you need to work downtown, or otherwise travel somewhere for a special event, etc. Many of the kids here walk to their schools, and many of their friends are a sidewalk trip away... (?) And groceries, restaurants, etc. are 5 minutes away. You are right about the lack of the cultural opportunities, but I guess that we wouldnt have time to do those on a daily basis anyway...Dallas or Ft. Worth is a 30 min drive away when we do that.

(It may sound like we are set minded on staying in the suburbs, but we really aren't...its a constant discussion about whether or not to move into North Dallas and do the private school thing. We are just worried that we would sacrifice an awful lot in terms of lifestyle to do that)

[pepper131]

Thankfully that the long haul driving is about once/month - that might be up to Allen or over to Royal/Midway...about twice a year to Midlothian, Sunnyvale and Duncanville. He has friends all over the place; I think that's good...it's diverse.

His core group is centrally located in East Dallas neighborhoods and that makes it simple for an evening date with the teenage boys to see Henry Rollins on a weekday .

If the sacrifce in lifestyle is too great, it is not worth it to disrupt your family.

[TXNGL]

jtrichel, it really varies by street around here. Our street and the streets north and south of us have quite a few kids who go to public school. These kids have known each other since at least kindergarten, they've grown up together. That's unusual for my immediate area, but something you probably see much more in the neighborhood surrounding Kramer Elementary.
I'm lucky that on my immediate street, even the kids who go to privates schools have parents that believe as we do that the kids should be able to be outside playing with each other without parents micro-managing everything. During that big snowstorm I don't think I saw my kid for about 3 hours at one point. I know that freaks some parents out. :-)

[TXNGL]

Meant to add, I'm not sure I would give up an acre in Southlake. What I was saying about feeling crowded in the burbs had much more to do with many of the neighborhoods in places like Frisco, where I feel like the houses are right on the street and practically on top of each other.
If I were forced to live in a suburb, and had unlimited funds, I'd probably go to Southlake.