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Background: I grew up in a sad little rundown house in the Miami County countryside. I was so desperate to leave than when I turned 17 I enlisted in the Army out of the Piqua office and I never dreamed I would consider coming back. The recruiter sold me on enlistment when he showed me a map with all these dots on it where I could be stationed. The USArmy saw fit to send me to Alabama, Kansas, and Iraq. I actually live in Alabama now and I love it. Can't say the same for Kansas and Iraq. I have good opportunities here, I've worked on cool projects, the people are nice and the weather is warm. I have a clear path cut for me to get my degree in electrical engineering and make lots of money and die fat and happy.
But I recently made a trip back home and things seem different to me now. There's been talk of my parents coming down here, but it has become obvious they can't afford it. Well, they might but it would involve an all expenses paid trip on a funnel cloud headed for Georgia come April. My wife and I are thinking about having kids and it is changing my perspective on how close I want family to be. I also miss my brother who I've always been very close to. They can't come here, so maybe I need to go back there? She holds a BA in psychology which is completely useless there, and I don't see it being of much use there. I know there is a lot of DoD work at Wright Pat, but I would really rather stay out of the military stuff. I would like to go to UD and I was actually admitted back when I wasn't sure where I would go after my enlistment was up. I know I can afford it between the GI Bill and Yellow Ribbon Program with minimal debt.
For the record, I don't really want to go back to Miami County exactly. I want to live in Dayton. Probably in Linden Heights. We maintain a garden here and that is pretty important to us. The lot sizes are small in Dayton, but I'm aware of some community gardens about a mile from Linden Heights that might do the job. I'm aware that Dayton Public is not stellar, but by the time we actually conceive and are ready to send a child off to school I'll probably be ready to move into a nicer neighborhood altogether. Also, I love bicycling. I have ridden in major cities and on long bike trails across the country. So I see a great opportunity to be able to log in some major miles on a regular basis, whereas the city I live in now is great for cars and awful for bikes. My wife has never really developed any good sorority where we live now. She is pretty bashful, but I suspect that it doesn't help that she seems like a total hippy to the good Southern folk here (she sins against food by not eating meat, for example). I wonder if maybe she could finally make some girlfriends if we lived in the Dayton area.
Sorry I didn't fill out the Newcomer's survey, but I don't really need any answers from that. I guess I'm looking to see if people respond by saying "dude, don't throw it all away to move back here" or "well I can see where the things you want in life will bring you back, you just gotta jump". I've been immersed in prayer and fasting for a few days now, and I feel the undeniable pull to come back. Like I said, I'm crazy.
As someone who has moved away from the D a few times, gotten homesick, and come back, I can personally attest that visiting home always feels more magical than actually full-scale going back. When you're visiting, everybody fawns all over you, goes out of their way to spend time with you, etc... when you move back permanent and your presence is no longer a novelty, this stuff stops pretty fast.
My biggest piece of advice would be to honestly ask yourself if you're moving back to be close to your family, or if you're trying to quiet some unhappiness in your mind or imagining that coming back home would just somehow magically be "better." It won't. Whatever problems or frustrations you have will simply follow you wherever you go. (Geographic cure, etc.)
Also ask yourself, honestly, how good your relationships with loved ones were before you left. And remind yourself why you were so eager to leave in the first place, if those relationships were so great -- have those reasons changed? Are you sure they'll no longer be an issue?
Finally, as a social science major -- Communication on my end, not psychology -- I can attest that ANY broad social science degree is pretty much useless as anything other than a baseline credential to get you in the door. Once you're in, you have to sell yourself -- not just "you," per se (as you'd have to do in any sort of interview situation), but your actual qualifications for the job. I'd kill to have gone for broke and majored in Journalism or Public Relations at this point, just to not have to prove, on top of everything else, that I actually know how to do the job.
It seems like you've done your research and there are a lot of things that are drawing you back to the area. Why would you not want to move back? Is it because of the reputation Dayton has? The city will be one thing to a young, urban professional with no roots in the area, and a different thing to someone who's thinking of settling down and starting a family here. I'd say go for it.
It sounds like you like where you live now, so I guess it depends how strongly the other things you don't have there are worth the move back home. The bike trails in the Miami Valley are one of its main attractions, and your wife would likely be much happier with the vegetarian options here compared to Alabama. Otherwise, it's not something anyone but the two of you can really decide is right.
Ultimately there is a lot of questions embedded in here that we really can't answer. But I will say Linden Heights is a whole different world than rural Miami County. If you are looking for an urban neighborhood, it would not be a bad choice.
For some additional perspective on Linden Heights specifically, I suggest asking the same questions over on Reddit (the Dayton subbreddiy is where you would want to go). Lots of posters there live in east Dayton.
So would I say you are crazy for wanting to come back? Heck no! This area has a lot to offer, the cost of living is crazy low, and the city Is easily navigable and very livable. The issue is whether or not you want to be close to your roots, and that I can't answer.
A run down house in Miami County is not the same as moving to Dayton. If you were young, restless, wanted out of Hicksville and wanted to see the world, well, you have accomplished that. Only you know why you left and why you want to return.
I live in Linden Heights; it has good parts and bad. I am also a UD grad (I was also a non-traditional student). They have a good engineering program, good connections (especially with GE and the Feds), and their graduates have a very high placement rate.
For the record, I don't really want to go back to Miami County exactly. I want to live in Dayton. Probably in Linden Heights. We maintain a garden here and that is pretty important to us. The lot sizes are small in Dayton, but I'm aware of some community gardens about a mile from Linden Heights that might do the job. I'm aware that Dayton Public is not stellar, but by the time we actually conceive and are ready to send a child off to school I'll probably be ready to move into a nicer neighborhood altogether. Also, I love bicycling. I have ridden in major cities and on long bike trails across the country. So I see a great opportunity to be able to log in some major miles on a regular basis, whereas the city I live in now is great for cars and awful for bikes. My wife has never really developed any good sorority where we live now. She is pretty bashful, but I suspect that it doesn't help that she seems like a total hippy to the good Southern folk here (she sins against food by not eating meat, for example). I wonder if maybe she could finally make some girlfriends if we lived in the Dayton area.
For what it's worth, welcome back! Always glad to have more people here and on the forums.
As to neighborhoods inside of Dayton proper, I don't have much opinion about Linden Heights, apart from that it seemed hit and miss to me. I do have experience with the Hearthstone area (right across Smithville Road from Linden Heights) as well as Belmont (to the immediate south), and those two areas are all right, especially for being a married couple/without kids.
You can get a decent house in any of those areas for $70,000 if you look around, maybe less. Expect to pay about $1,500 a year in property taxes, plus two and a quarter percent of your income to the city, regardless of where you work.
As to schools, you are absolutely correct about moving after any future child reaches school age. The schools range from an having an unjustified reputation (Stivers) to indifferent (Belmont) to just plain bad (almost anything else). After the children hit five years old, consider Centerville, Oakwood, Beavercreek, or Bellbrook.
As to meeting new friends, depends on your background. The best way I've found is to join a local church, especially with younger crowds - off the top of my head Apex in Kettering, Far Hills off Wilmington Pike, and Vineyard in Beavercreek would be a good start.
I was a little bit confused by parts of some of y'all's responses at first, but then I remembered that a good number of people from Miami County won't venture South of Needmore unless they have to. My attraction to Linden Heights is based off of my brothers living in Linden Heights and Hearthstone and the familiarity I got with the area from it. I also like the price and am thinking of the home as kind of an "in betweener". Just something for us to live out of while are babies get conceived and become school age children, I finish out my degree, and whatever else comes along the way.
BonyT, I've been gone for 8 years now and I know what you mean. I am a little worried that I'm just nostalgic. A couple years ago the opportunity came up to buy the property that I grew up on and I came up to check it out. I was quickly reminded of the reasons why I left then; all of the trash buried in the yard, trees growing up entangled in cars and farm equipment, the smell of motor oil baking in the sun, the perpetually falling apart house, water drainage issues, etc...My dad sold the property to get rid of the headache his father had left for him and there I was trying to buy the headache back. I think the main difference now is that I have seen the world. I've been on three different continents and in most major American cities. I've toured NYC extensively and I even turned down work in the city last fall. I feel like I've gotten my "rambling" out of the way and I'm ready to turn my attention to family.
I really do like it where I'm at, as some of you have noted. But my family can't come to me. I'm the only one who can do it. I feel silly saying this, but I've also never found a church that I feel comfortable in like the one I started going to as a teenager. They have some big changes happening in the near future, and I keep wondering if I'm supposed to be part of them. As an engineer and scientist I am pretty much programmed to not even think like that, but the pull is there. I see opportunities.
Thanks everybody for their responses and for allowing me to externalize the debate that has been in my head for the past few weeks.
I have to partially eat what I said in my earlier post: you can get a house in Hearthstone for $40,000 if you look around, not $70,000 as I originally said.
Maybe someone can weigh in on this - but these houses fetched $70-80k as little as a few years ago. I know the housing market crashed but it looks like it never recovered here. I would be worried about the long-term stability of the neighborhood (beyond the next 5 years).
The current mix is mostly either (1) younger families, or (2) older folks who have long since paid off their houses. So I wouldn't expect a huge rash of foreclosures or slumlords moving in to dilapidate the neighborhood overnight, but I wonder if the long term decline continues?
Most of the houses in this area were built in the late 40's or early 50's. There are a few houses that fetch $75,000, and they're nice houses, often remodeled and updated. Don't buy those, unless you're prepared to consider any loss in value as a "sunk" cost, the cost of just living.
I wouldn't buy at the top of the neighborhood, though, not with the trend of declining house values.
I'm a big believer in prayer and listening to that little voice. The only regrets I've ever had have been when I didn't listen to it. For the record, I grew up in a Dayton suburb, moved away when I married my husband and the Air Force took us all over. We were fortunate to be stationed at WPAFB for 4 years so I got the chance to be close to family during that time period. The military moved us again and we've ended up on the east coast where we'll stay. For us, job security was the number one priority. But as a parent, it is huge to have family nearby; if they don't create more drama in your life and are generally people you enjoy. If your wife has not put down roots in Alabama, and you can both find employment in the Dayton area; I don't see any reason why you shouldn't consider it in your situation. Good luck.
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