Did we make a mistake? (Denver, Lakewood: buying a house, neighborhoods, buying)

[VALGAL222]

Having just relocated from another state, I think it is your surroundings but only you know that for sure. A big hug to you though, because I know everything you are going through!
Our kids adjusted well to the move, better than we had thought they would, mainly because of the close proximity of pals to play with. We did not originally want a cookie cutter in HR but we realized that our kids were the first consideration and that was the best place for them. We would have loved to live in Wash park, The Pinery or downtown.
Is your home in an area where you could rent it out and "test" living closer to everything by renting? What I mean is rather than sell, move closer in and then discover it is just Colorado that is not working and then having to sell again, at least you would only have to sell once.
We had very little homesickness but we never really considered our previous city, "home" so we were glad to get out. I would move closer in, I think LC hit the nail on the head, kids have to have other kids close by and almost 2 hours on a bus is crazy!

[formercalifornian]

Originally Posted by denverian

I think what you've described is exactly why I wouldn't live in the mountains! I'm a social person who wants everything I need within 10 minutes of my front door, and I have that living in Stapleton. The views up there are amazing, but it's a tradeoff. We lived in Orange County, CA for years and looked at places up into the hills that had great views, and were probably ok for the social aspects as the neighborhoods were somewhat dense, but still couldn't imagine having to drive 20 min. down winding roads to get one thing from the grocery store when needed. Having great views usually means isolation to some extent.

Ditto! Although we live somewhere other than Stapleton.

[denverian]

Originally Posted by formercalifornian

Ditto! Although we live somewhere other than Stapleton.

We ended up buying a condo in Orange, and at least on the convenience level, it had everything we needed within 5 min. from home. Well, except for work in Irvine. That was about 15 min. if you left for work before 6:30 a.m., otherwise 45 min. to an hour

[giz2000]

My husband and I are waiting until our son finishes high school and goes off to college to buy a home in the mountains...4 more years!

[eastcoastbias]

Did you know the travel distances going in and ignored them because of the property? You obviously had some Pros and Cons with area- if you move again is their a similar tradeoff- do you think its CO or the particular town. Do some research around the City would be my suggestion. I think everyone needs time to adapt. I've made two big moves and each involved a lengthy transition period. This last one has been 5 years and I have never really adjusted that well.

Denverian- I'm from SanDiego looking to relocate to Stapleton. How has the experience in this town been for you? Is it a decent commute to Broomfield? It seems like a place for Californians- my wife is dead set on it- I'd rather actually live elsewhere south of Denver or in the mountains.

[newtostate]

Thanks for all the replies and virtual support to my original question.

To clarify, only the bus ride is 50 min one way. At the most my kids take the bus one time per day but I still feel badly. Grocery stores are 10-15 min and there are restaurants in the vicinity as well. Mainly, things like soccer (which they are both involved in) are farther, friends can be 20-25 minutes away and we recently found out my husband's hq's are moving to Lodo from Lakewood which means his commute will be closer to an hour. More than anything is the unexpected feeling of isolation and while plenty of people are friendly and we have gotten to know some nice families it takes a major effort to get together. Back east we would play in our driveway and see neighbors which many times led to impromptu playdates or just hanging out while kids played. That will never happen here b/c we could hang out in the street all day and see a handful of cars w/ people waving but no interest in stopping. For some reason, we thought that we didn't need that type of interaction anymore since our kids are a bit older but it seems that was incorrect. Also, perhaps some people move up here to do their own thing and not be bothered w/ much socializing b/c while my kids have made plenty of friends in school and since I volunteer I have witnessed these interactions, there is very little getting together over weekends and such. I have hosted many kids at our house and have had very little reciprocal invites. Again, hard for my kids b/c of what they were used to in our old enviroment.

I guess we'll take a couple months to figure this out b/c we will def be losing a chunk of $ if we try to sell at this point and selling could take some time anyway. I'm glad to know that it doesn't seem crazy for wanting to move closer to people and places.

[CAVA1990]

Originally Posted by livecontent

The main idea is that kids want to be around other kids. They do not want to be isolated in a mountain home with their parents and their siblings--it does not matter if it has the greatest scenery. Kids, teenagers, young adults want to socialize and that remains the same--it does not matter what you call it or where it happens. Perhaps you are too wet behind the ears to understand human behavior; and are not old enough to see that for all that changes, much remains the same.

Ahem, cough, cough arghmmmm...owh...why do I have to explain this simple idea to a brash "know it all" youngin....

Livecontent

Well you must be pretty old then but I thank you for the compliment. I'm a parent of 20-somethings and my kids sand their friends mixed equally with the opposite gender in school, sports, activities, parties, socializing, going to movies and everything else from a very young age. I attribute a lot of that to title IX which apparently wasn't around when your kids' grew up. Or perhaps you grew up in a country or culture where the genders were kept separate?

[80skeys]

Yep that's the thing about rural Colorado. Lots of space between neighbors and not much socializing.

As people know from reading my posts on this forum, I'm not a big fan of isolated living, especially raising kids in a place with a lack of social life.

Personally, if I were you, I'd uproot and move to Denver. There's lots of nice, safe neighborhoods in Denver and more activites and opportunities. If you live in western or Central Denver, you're still close to the mountains.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by CAVA1990

Sounds as if you haven't been around kids in a long, long time. The world's changed Pops.

I think it still happens. Just the corner store is King Soopers now.

I love the idea of living in the hills with trees and a nice view. however, that will have to wait until the kids are grown. For now, we're in the kid-friendly suburbs. Close to schools. Close to friends. I think I'd only enjoy living in an isolated place if I didn't have to go anywhere (work or school).

[Katarina Witt]

I saw this thread this morning, now have time to post a response.

First, newtostate, don't go bashing yourself over the head for moving to Conifer. Moving is stressful, and there's always something you learn after the fact.

We raised our kids in a typical suburban city, and they didn't always live close to their friends, especially as they got older. Of course, there's a magnitude of difference in going a couple miles to a friend's house and ten miles. But it's still not next door or through the backyard. Some suburban kids are so busy, it's hard to arrange a playdate, even if they do live close by. You can also live in a suburban neighborhood where there are no kids your kids' ages in the immediate walking distance area.

I'd give it time, keep the kids in sports, and consider a move if you aren't feeling better about your decision in a few more months.