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right, I think his breathing is starting to weaken. On the walk, he started salivating really bad and making horrible noises fron his throat, like he couldn't pass air hardly. that was a bit of a longer walk. now though he's doing it just going on potty breaks.
quote=Pennies4Penny;38851144]We put our 14 year old dog to sleep about a year and half ago. It's tough, but necessary. Ours had had been having trouble with walking for a while, almost completely deaf, very poor vision, but when his kind started to go and his breathing was heavy all the time, I couldn't let him suffer anymore.
Just being there for him is all you can do. Let him grieve how he needs to and eventually he'll move on. I was 29 when we put ours down and I'd had him since I was 15, half my life. His ashes are in nice box in our living room. Eventually I will take him back to our home state, but I'm not quite ready yet.[/quote]
In the last 9 months I had to euthanize a 20 year old cat, a 14 year old cat, and a 1 1/2 year old foster dog. The days/weeks leading up to the decision were harder than the actual day itself.
Let him cry it out. When my former friend's Rottie passed and we were estranged and I didn't get to see him for his last year I cried several times for 4 days. He's lucky he had a long life with him. The dog that died was only 5 years old.
What did your dog die from? Yes, at least there's some time to prepare. I'm letting him and his siblings decide how to euthanize him, I don't feel it's my place to offer any "suggestions". I just want to support and console my bf. I wish I could take the pain away, it breaks my heart when he cries because I feel like I'm not helping.
We went for a walk around the neighborhood and when we got back we found that our Brittany had dug under the fence and was missing. After searching high and low, we found her dead in the neighbors yard, without a mark on her. We assume she was hit by a car.
Just be there for him and if he wants to talk about his dog let him as talking can really help with grief and Never ever say something like it was just a dog or its been (what ever amount of time has passed) get over it. There are some nice frames that say things like Until we meet again forever in my heart and other such sayings so perhaps pick out a nice photo of his dog and put it in a frame and give it to him. Loosing a beloved pet is not that different then loosing a human family member and sometimes even harder as a dog is usually in your life 24/7 or close it to it as yeah they do not go to work or many other places with you but you do tend to see them every day while a a family member sometimes, weeks months even years can go between your times together. When a good friend looses a dog I like to make a donation to some place like Best friends in their dogs name and in the card best friends sends I will say something about how lucky their dog was to have a home with an owner who loved it as so many dogs never get that.
My bf says he does not want another pet for a while, which I can understand and am ok with. But it will be tough seeing his basket of toys, his special memory foam dog bed, etc. Do I throw that stuff out? keep it? Will it just keep reminding us of the loss?
Don't throw it out, but don't leave it sitting out, either. Get a cardboard box or a plastic bin and put the toys in that, and put it in the garage/attic/wherever you store things you care about. The reminder will be sharp and painful for a long time, but then it will become softer, and he will be able to smile, seeing the toys. At that point he may want to keep one or two items and donate the rest.
Be sure to keep the dog's collar and tags. Somehow, being able to hold on to those, literally, clutch them in the days after the passing can be a very powerful comfort. We have the collars of our two departed darlings, First Dog and Sweetie, placed on top of their little cedar chests with their ashes.
You're saying that you will let your BF and family decide on the procedure, but they may be struggling to find the right path, too. So suggest to them (1) that the vet should come to your home, rather than take the dog to the vet. Some last-minute anxieties may be avoided, if the dog doesn't like the vet's office, and the dog gets to leave this world from the home he loves. And (2) there are cremation services--maybe also in your area--where they not only guarantee that you are getting your own pet's ashes back, in a little cedar box, but they also make a paw imprint, and save a little bit of fur from your pet. It can be a very soothing experience to receive those remains.
Tough days ahead for your BF --he's lucky he has you. And the pain of losing a pet for the first time can be surprisingly overwhelming. A recent study showed that the part of our brain that loves pets and grieves for them is the same part that we use for loving our human children, so it is no wonder that the emotions are so strong.
When he cries, let him cry. Tears are important. Bottling it all up and denying his feelings isn't healthy, so just let him process what's happening. It's so hard to stand by helplessly, but you're not really helpless. You don't need to say anything. Just be there for him, give him a hug when he needs it, hold his hand if he wants you to. And be understanding if he gets angry and lashes out at you because it isn't really directed at you.
As for the dog's toys...that's a personal decision. We kept all of them, and our new dogs (puppies when we got them) destroyed a lot of them, but we held back their very favorite toys. Jimmy's lifelong favorite was a Fat Cat brand "Big Mean Kitty". We had three of them over his lifetime; they were very durable. I stowed Kitty on a shelf in the laundry room for safe keeping. A few weeks ago (this is 2+ years after losing him), I got something off that shelf and Kitty fell down into my arms. I held that toy, I brought it to my face to smell it, I cried a little, and then I put it back. I still get emotional, but you know what? I would be worried about myself if I didn't. It's all a sign of how much I still love those dogs. The love never diminishes.
All I will say is, don't throw away the toys too soon. You might regret it. You will be throwing away reminders of your dog, and is that fair to his memory?
quote=gentlearts;38855306]We went for a walk around the neighborhood and when we got back we found that our Brittany had dug under the fence and was missing. After searching high and low, we found her dead in the neighbors yard, without a mark on her. We assume she was hit by a car.[/quote]
My bf's dog has a basket of toys that I got him, it's so cute to watch him sniff them and see which one he wants to play with. Last night, I just kissed and kissed him, played tennis ball with him. I won't throw anything out right away, I'll let my bf decide what/when he wants to do anything. His siblings got a portrait made from a photo I took of him, it's displayed on a shelf. that will be a nice way to cherish his memory as well. Thank you for sharing, Kitty "jumping" off the shelf into your arms was probably a little reminder that Jimmy was thinking about you!! :-)
quote=TinaMcG;38860177]When he cries, let him cry. Tears are important. Bottling it all up and denying his feelings isn't healthy, so just let him process what's happening. It's so hard to stand by helplessly, but you're not really helpless. You don't need to say anything. Just be there for him, give him a hug when he needs it, hold his hand if he wants you to. And be understanding if he gets angry and lashes out at you because it isn't really directed at you.
As for the dog's toys...that's a personal decision. We kept all of them, and our new dogs (puppies when we got them) destroyed a lot of them, but we held back their very favorite toys. Jimmy's lifelong favorite was a Fat Cat brand "Big Mean Kitty". We had three of them over his lifetime; they were very durable. I stowed Kitty on a shelf in the laundry room for safe keeping. A few weeks ago (this is 2+ years after losing him), I got something off that shelf and Kitty fell down into my arms. I held that toy, I brought it to my face to smell it, I cried a little, and then I put it back. I still get emotional, but you know what? I would be worried about myself if I didn't. It's all a sign of how much I still love those dogs. The love never diminishes.
All I will say is, don't throw away the toys too soon. You might regret it. You will be throwing away reminders of your dog, and is that fair to his memory?[/quote]
A donation is a fabulous idea! I also thought of donating any food that was left over to a shelter near my house. He has a lovely portrait of his dog that was a Christmas present.
quote=Dashdog;38855453]Just be there for him and if he wants to talk about his dog let him as talking can really help with grief and Never ever say something like it was just a dog or its been (what ever amount of time has passed) get over it. There are some nice frames that say things like Until we meet again forever in my heart and other such sayings so perhaps pick out a nice photo of his dog and put it in a frame and give it to him. Loosing a beloved pet is not that different then loosing a human family member and sometimes even harder as a dog is usually in your life 24/7 or close it to it as yeah they do not go to work or many other places with you but you do tend to see them every day while a a family member sometimes, weeks months even years can go between your times together. When a good friend looses a dog I like to make a donation to some place like Best friends in their dogs name and in the card best friends sends I will say something about how lucky their dog was to have a home with an owner who loved it as so many dogs never get that.[/quote]
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--he's lucky he has you. And the pain of losing a pet for the first time can be surprisingly overwhelming. A recent study showed that the part of our brain that loves pets and grieves for them is the same part that we use for loving our human children, so it is no wonder that the emotions are so strong.
