Aren't we suppose to live with minimal stress in this modern world? (mortgage, buy)

[Almeida93]

Aren't we suppose to live stress free in this modern world?

Before people were always stress out about making it to the other day. About a successful hunt, a successful crop. I place to sleep. But now the only thing you need today is a reasonable job that pays decent, a partner that you are mutually happy with, and a few real friends and that is pretty much it. We have everthing that we want in terms of food, shelter etc. Why don't we live less stressfullives then?

[stan4]

Some of us do.

Most of our stress is made up in our heads and purely existing because of choice.

It's not external forces like a lion hunting you, etc, that does it anymore.

[MrRational]

Originally Posted by Almeida93

Aren't we suppose to live stress free in this modern world?
We have everything that we want in terms of food, shelter etc.

Some do. Maybe even most on a statistical basis...
Maybe you need to take a minute and define which "we" you refer to.

...the only thing you need today is a reasonable job that pays decent,
a partner that you are mutually happy with, and a few real friends and that is pretty much it.

And just how many of us really have all three of those things?
All three of them... all of the time?

Why don't we live less stressful lives then?

Because we can see just how tenuous the stability of those things really is.
Because we can see how many really don't have all of those things.
---

Then of course there is also the physiological NEED we have for some stress.
Or at least the hormone release that the stress would have induced.

In the absence of literal predators and such... many/most will create some of their own.
Some (most?) will do that very poorly.

[stan4]

I also think the op picked some arbitrary things.
Many people can be happy without a partner or friends.

The question should pertain to basic needs:

A reliable source of food, water, and shelter.

Pretty much everyone you know has those things.
So why are they still freaked out all the time...?

[stan4]

The standards of what we deem necessities have skyrocketed beyond what our ancestors would ever recognize.

Heck, there are places in this world today people would be baffled.

[sholomar]

cue the workoholics that thrive on stress telling us we gotta work 80 hrs/week.

[randomparent]

Originally Posted by stan4

I also think the op picked some arbitrary things.
Many people can be happy without a partner or friends.

The question should pertain to basic needs:

A reliable source of food, water, and shelter.

Pretty much everyone you know has those things.
So why are they still freaked out all the time...?

That is an excellent question. I worry...

...about my children, particularly the older ones, who are having a hard time handling the demands of a very competitive high school

...about my elderly parents, who are struggling right now with health and financial issues

...about my even more elderly grandfather, who lives alone and was recently the victim of a scam artist

...about my long-term health after being diagnosed with an extremely rare disease about two years ago

...and a handful of other matters.

Do I worry about money? No, not really. But there's plenty more to keep my mind racing in the middle of the night.

[King_of_DC]

Originally Posted by randomparent

That is an excellent question. I worry...

...about my children, particularly the older ones, who are having a hard time handling the demands of a very competitive high school

...about my elderly parents, who are struggling right now with health and financial issues

...about my even more elderly grandfather, who lives alone and was recently the victim of a scam artist

...about my long-term health after being diagnosed with an extremely rare disease about two years ago

...and a handful of other matters.

Do I worry about money? No, not really. But there's plenty more to keep my mind racing in the middle of the night.

Excellent post... shows that money, food, and water are not the only things that a person will need to not feel some amounts of stress.

Luckily I don't have any of your issues so I have very limited stress in my life.

[randomparent]

Originally Posted by King_of_DC

Excellent post... shows that money, food, and water are not the only things that a person will need to not feel some amounts of stress.

Luckily I don't have any of your issues so I have very limited stress in my life.

Glad to hear it.

I should mention that the rare disease is so far under control thanks to excellent medical care, but my long-term prognosis is hard to pin down. I am at the forefront of a new treatment regime that seems to be very effective in the short-term, but nobody really knows where I'll be in ten years. This is not a lifestyle disease, btw. I just won the genetic lottery. It's been here all along, but I've become symptomatic and diagnosable only in the last couple of years.

I worry constantly about changes in the healthcare system and what that will mean for my treatment. As a SAHM, I currently qualify for healthcare coverage through my husband's employer, but if they decide to drop spousal coverage, things could get ugly. I can't just see anybody (as I said, rare disease), and there are only a few specialists in the U.S.

Anyway, my point is that there is plenty of stress in the modern world even for those of us who have plenty of money to pay the mortgage and buy the groceries. Teenagers, elderly parents, and individual health concerns are the trifecta of middle age stress and worry.

[luzianne]

I think once you have food and shelter as a given, you want more. I think a lot of people are spoiled/entitled because they think they should have everything and don't realize how lucky they are to have what they have.

This is kind of off topic, but I actually think people were probably happier when their time and energy and thoughts went into just surviving (I'm thinking like early 1900s on a farm or something like that, where people had to be self sufficient) and they didn't have time to worry about frivolous things. They didn't have time to sit around and feel sorry for themselves; survival depended on them getting up and doing what they had to do every day just to survive and everyone's help was needed and expected. No slackers! I think people's mental health was probably better then.