Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've never felt it was anyone else's business if a young person (or even an older person) still lived in their family home. No blame, no shame. Let's all live our own lives and let other people live theirs.
Exactly. Lack of motivation and self-esteem is perfectly normal.
No...and a larger yes. Part of becoming an adult is learning to struggle and get through those hardships of supporting one's self. I'm all for making sure you do it debt-free, frugally, and safely, and there are many ways to go about it.
No one ever said life was going to be without hardship. If young people are living at home to avoid hardship, then shame on them. I think there is something character-building and eye-opening about learning what it's like to HAVE to choose between paying rent, or eating fast food; to have to forgo social activities for a while in order to pay off debt, or to know what it's like to be a little food insecure while you're waiting for your paycheck, and it turns out beans and rice WILL suffice for a week. Out of my siblings, I'm the only one who experienced this part of adulthood and while it was hard and few people understood, I was told I was mature than my peers and was better prepared to handle crap from life.
I get that employers suck, rent is high, student debt is high, and there is a lot of uncertainty. Let's be honest though-- there've been times in US history where young people had it much worse, were able to support themselves, save, get married, have families, and be debt-free or have little debt. Young people need to start thinking critically about whether heading straight to college is best for them, whether going into an apprenticeship program is better, working full time, etc. There are jobs that don't require a degree, and pay decent (13-17/hr) and would allow them to have the income they need to support themselves and save. At my last job, I found out the client service reps were making only $3 less than I was and a lot of them didn't have any college degrees. Young people could rent with other roommates, and yes that sucks too (btdt), but it keeps costs down AND forces you to learn how to be an adult around people you're only living with because it saves money.
A lot of parents these days are so focused on shielding their children from experiencing hardship, these kids are going to really freak out when crap really does hit the fan.
This. I am embarrassed and appalled about the sense of entitlement which plagues my generation.
It's because too many of us have been raised to think we are speshul snowflakes who deserve the best at all times. There is a lack of work ethic and the belief that instant gratification is deserved. Millennials will pass up a job that pays a great salary just because it isn't in their field.
I had to stop talking to this whiny overgrown baby because she was too spoiled for my taste. The grown ass woman was 32 years old and living at home because of her ADD. She used ADD as an excuse for being a loser. According to this fool, ADD prevented her from being able to work or take the bus. She talked about being depressed and when I suggested exercise, she said that the "lack of motivation" from ADD made exercising "impossible." I couldn't respect someone like that. People with FAR WORSE illnesses work full time! She was just a typical coddled Millennial living with Mommy and Daddy because they enabled her.
Struggling to build a life independently helps adults become mature and thankful for what they earn.
I grew up in an upper middle class home. Unfortunately, there was also a lot of physical and emotional abuse. I left home in my early 20s with nothing because I couldn't take it anymore. I rented rooms until I could afford a bachelor and then a tiny one bedroom basement. I also attended UFT part time while working full time to afford my apartment in Toronto. My husband and I struggled through the recession. We eloped because that's what we could afford and rented apartments until we could afford to buy a house. Neither of us EVER considered moving back home or begging our elderly parents for money.
And the Vikings lived in hovels and were dirty and built boats by hand. An original B&W TV is probably worth more than a Samsung flat screen from Costco now. People learned real quick that having confined space and only one bathroom created conflict with cleaning, usage etc. People improve technology and quality of life. I mean how far do we take this argument ... go back to living like natives killing each other in tribal wars off horse back?
But you are right if people don't start voting in their own interests we will regress as a society, a hand full of people will be absolutely filthy rich and the rest living like the modern day equivalent of dark age surfs (with a few vassels sprinkled in). I frankly don't want to live in a 1,200 sq ft house with one bathroom or with a bunch of strangers who may be involved with illicit activities or at the very least are breathing too much of my air.
But people in numbers must be willing to vote in extremism to combat the wealth disparity and be willing to put skin in the game like the Templar did. The wealth of the filthy rich is not going to trickle down it will have to be taken by force. Which BTW the Vikings did what they did because they were tired of the very lifestyle you espouse (in modern day equivalents of course). However the modern day youth may be too weak and incompetent to enforce anything on those that would fleece the USA so this may be the last couple of generations of Americans that actually get to live like the quintessential American since we don't seem to have the will to take the extreme measures needed to assure our way of life.
Let me guess. C's in High School? Zero training in critical thought?
Two words about most young 20s who are out on their own: credit cards.
I worked with an organization that helped young people with resumes, interview skills and to find opportunity in their chosen field. I always chatted with them to determine goals and the most common goal was to pay credit cards off.
I've known young people who pay rent on credit. You'd think they're doing well, but it's unseen, crippling debt.
I'm not on my own and I don't have a credit card and don't plan on getting one, even when I do end up on my own. And I also don't have college loan debt either.
I'd point out that the Millennials are going to be the richest generation ever. They're also going to see the most wealth and income stratification since before the Great Depression. The smart ones who study hard and get themselves launched on good careers are going to be rich. The ones who sit around blaming everyone else for their own failings are going to struggle. They won't be able to afford housing in any of the high cost of living regions where all the good jobs are. They're going to hit retirement age with little to no accumulated wealth.
I'd point out that the Millennials are going to be the richest generation ever. They're also going to see the most wealth and income stratification since before the Great Depression. The smart ones who study hard and get themselves launched on good careers are going to be rich. The ones who sit around blaming everyone else for their own failings are going to struggle. They won't be able to afford housing in any of the high cost of living regions where all the good jobs are. They're going to hit retirement age with little to no accumulated wealth.
I'm not on my own and I don't have a credit card and don't plan on getting one, even when I do end up on my own. And I also don't have college loan debt either.
Grown ups have established credit scores. Your credit score isn't just about the ability to get credit cards. It's also something most employers check in a background check for a real job. It determines how much you pay for auto insurance. Even if they have minimal lines of credit, you want to get at least a couple credit cards, use them occasionally, pay them back in full, and never, never, never pay them late.
And the Vikings lived in hovels and were dirty and built boats by hand. An original B&W TV is probably worth more than a Samsung flat screen from Costco now. People learned real quick that having confined space and only one bathroom created conflict with cleaning, usage etc. People improve technology and quality of life. I mean how far do we take this argument ... go back to living like natives killing each other in tribal wars off horse back?
But you are right if people don't start voting in their own interests we will regress as a society, a hand full of people will be absolutely filthy rich and the rest living like the modern day equivalent of dark age surfs (with a few vassels sprinkled in). I frankly don't want to live in a 1,200 sq ft house with one bathroom or with a bunch of strangers who may be involved with illicit activities or at the very least are breathing too much of my air.
But people in numbers must be willing to vote in extremism to combat the wealth disparity and be willing to put skin in the game like the Templar did. The wealth of the filthy rich is not going to trickle down it will have to be taken by force. Which BTW the Vikings did what they did because they were tired of the very lifestyle you espouse (in modern day equivalents of course). However the modern day youth may be too weak and incompetent to enforce anything on those that would fleece the USA so this may be the last couple of generations of Americans that actually get to live like the quintessential American since we don't seem to have the will to take the extreme measures needed to assure our way of life.
There will always be income inequality. However, the problem is caused by both Big Business being too greedy and Big Government making it harder for good businesses to challenge the status quo as it's harder to start up.
I have gone after both the Amnesty, H1B, etc movements, the Common Core movements (no, Common Core is hurting, not helping kids, and it's just a data mining wet dream for Big Business that they hope to profit off of now even if it hurts them later. I expect they intend to tap into the global market and "insource" to solve the problem of all the "dumbed down" Americans they are creating.)
THIS young person IS fighting back and identifying the bad guys.
Because the economy keeps growing. All the previous generations will eventually be dead. Millennials will be the F500 CEOs and the entrepreneurs who drive the economy. Looking at who is graduating from the elite universities, about half of them will be Asian/Indian because they have the education and work ethic.
The problem is income and wealth stratification. If you don't have 21st century job skills, you're largely competing against much lower paid people elsewhere in the world and unpaid robots. The penalty for a poor education and a poor work ethic is going to be very severe.
This. I am embarrassed and appalled about the sense of entitlement which plagues my generation.
It's because too many of us have been raised to think we are speshul snowflakes who deserve the best at all times. There is a lack of work ethic and the belief that instant gratification is deserved. Millennials will pass up a job that pays a great salary just because it isn't in their field.
I had to stop talking to this whiny overgrown baby because she was too spoiled for my taste. The grown ass woman was 32 years old and living at home because of her ADD. She used ADD as an excuse for being a loser. According to this fool, ADD prevented her from being able to work or take the bus. She talked about being depressed and when I suggested exercise, she said that the "lack of motivation" from ADD made exercising "impossible." I couldn't respect someone like that. People with FAR WORSE illnesses work full time! She was just a typical coddled Millennial living with Mommy and Daddy because they enabled her.
Struggling to build a life independently helps adults become mature and thankful for what they earn.
I grew up in an upper middle class home. Unfortunately, there was also a lot of physical and emotional abuse. I left home in my early 20s with nothing because I couldn't take it anymore. I rented rooms until I could afford a bachelor and then a tiny one bedroom basement. I also attended UFT part time while working full time to afford my apartment in Toronto. My husband and I struggled through the recession. We eloped because that's what we could afford and rented apartments until we could afford to buy a house. Neither of us EVER considered moving back home or begging our elderly parents for money.
Okay, WOW @ the 32 year old??? I mean, I've heard of 32 year olds still living with parents but it usually involved care of an ailing or aging parent (or grandparent), or it was because the 32 year old had to keep tabs on the parents due to language barriers, they didn't work, etc. In those situations, the 32 was considered the head of household and not living with parents just because. I've met people with ADD, autism, and cerebral palsy who took pride in being able to live independently without their parents and I'm surprised someone would use that excuse.
I'm the same age as the woman you mentioned and I also think a lot of people in my generation are coddled. My family didn't reach UMC status until my teens, but my parents were also abusive and I wanted to get out of there so fast. Left in my early 20's, struggled to pay rent, went hungry, went without proper medical care for pockets of time, and had crappy roommates. I have people in my life who have expressed their respect toward me because of these struggles. My husband and I continue to struggle, but I've accepted that life is hard. I'm not usually one to tell people "suck it up, buttercup," but I think people need to learn a little bit of self-denial and discipline to get where they want to be.
The ironic part of it is I'm from a cultural background where behaving this independently for a woman is discouraged, but I bucked tradition. There are times where I think about what if my family life was better, but I think I have an independent streak I would've wanted to move out on my own anyway.
If people aren't in challenging situations, or don't experience the tip of the iceberg of this thing called suffering, they lose these character-building traits that make a person determined and to take healthy risks. I also think it's partly a fear of failure-- a lot of parents don't want to hear about their kids walking a couple miles to work or school because they can't afford a car (my mom cried when I told her that when I lived on my own), or their budget gave them a grocery allowance of peanut butter, bread, frozen vegetables, and chicken, or how the check bounced and now they can't buy groceries. These are learning experiences to force people to toughen up.
There's a lot of pressure on parents to be perfect helicoptering parents, and to make sure their kids are perfect and excel at everything. The parents who have kids who struggle on their own feel like failures or bad parents, and it isn't true. Also part of the problem.
Last edited by Vintage_girl; 02-23-2017 at 08:37 PM..
Reason: spelling
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She talked about being depressed and when I suggested exercise, she said that the "lack of motivation" from ADD made exercising "impossible." I couldn't respect someone like that. People with FAR WORSE illnesses work full time! She was just a typical coddled Millennial living with Mommy and Daddy because they enabled her. 