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Hello- I have been researching Quaker schools in the Northeast. Their philosophy is one that I agree with and I imagine sending my daughter to one for her Middle/High school years. Does anyone have experience (positive/negative) with these schools? Do you feel their educational philosophy has prepared you or your child well for college and adulthood? In particular, I am interested in hearing from those who have experience with Oakwood Friends School in Poughkeepsie, NY. Thank you for any help you can provide.
I am the one who posted the thread about Catholic school for middle school years. It is interesting that I now have seen your post, as the discussion in our home has been whether to move our kids from the 'track' to attend the earthy/montessori type/quaker type school to, instead, Catholic school.
I attended a quaker boarding school for high school and then a quaker college. I LOVED every minute of it. Quaker schools provide nurtutring, a VERY non-elitist environment, a commitment to service, a belief that learning is important and a gift from God, a belief that the grade is not important -but the effort and attitude...and of course religious instruction in the best of ways (looking outside of one's self, serving others, etc.). They do not shove the quaker beliefs down your throat, but do teach you the principles of non violence and conflict resolution.
Okay, now the negative (that I see now more as a parent): Because of the non competitive nature of things, great student athletes may not get the 'credit' they deserve. Everyone, always, is looked at equally. There is a LOT of room for kids to make choices and discuss thing...they even ran the honor court fully and without an adult in my high school. Good? Well in some ways, but I now more a believer that kids need guidance and structure. Becaue of the earthy/non competive/open environment students almost were looked down upon for having anything 'nice' (clothes, jewelry, etc.)--almost a reverse type of discrimination.
Inspite of the 'negatives' I found the education to be very solid and it, without question, shaped me into a person who believes that we all should serve. I also do not worry about keeping up with the Jones' or having the latest 'in' thing for myself or my kids (no iPhones around here...not even iPods). I would use a school like this for a child who is either so highly driven that you think the 'A honor role'/Preppy need to fit in stuff will weigh on your child too heavily. I would caution sending a child who has a low work ethic and drive (they don't really 'push' kids). Also, at many Quaker schools there are no cuts on sports teams. So, if you have a supper Jock, he or she may get frustrated taking turns on the field with the kid that is not good at all! Then again, that teaches a lesson also.
We are considering Catholic rather than the earthy quaker type (no quaker school here) of middle school because one of our children is already non competitive, earthy and relaxed. He needs a SHOVE and discipline. Our others are Type A kids and want Catholic school...but I think the 'friends type' school would stop them from being overly focuced on getting As and being 'on top'. They will do well anywhere, but they need help relaxing! It is a tough call around here.
Know your child and go for a Friends school if you are okay with a bit of a hippy environment, a lot of time doing community service and a strong education. Hope this helps.
taben- Thank you so much for your informative post. I started looking for alternatives to my daughters current school for a couple of reasons. I little background: For kindergarten, she was in a private Catholic school. I found it to be very regimented as she was very young (december baby)when she began and wasn't developed enough to keep still. However she is was a bit advanced (reading at age 3). For first and second grades she was in a Gifted program in the NYC Public schools. I loved the academics, but not the administration. Though capable, she seemed to struggle a bit.
We have since moved to a very small town in the country with no gifted program and my daughter not only seems bored (she told me 2nd grade was way harder than 3rd!), but I am also noticing that she is pretty passive and sometimes bullied. She is pretty much a bookworm. She likes athletics, but is still rather different from her peers. While I am not unhappy with her elementary school, I don't know that our grade 6-12 Junior/Senior HS would be the best environment for her. She does tend to need discipline and that "shove" though and that seems to be the opposite of what a Friend's school would offer.
The nearest Friend's school would be a 45 minute drive from us- but I would be willing to do that- or move closer for the right environment. I will also look into area Catholic schools.
You also might want to look into Montessori schools that are near you. The right teacher in the school will give the child a bit of a shove, though not a lot. The best thing is the multi ages classrooms. Your daughter will be able to work ahead in some things, and on 'grade level' in others without being pulled out to a 'gifted' room. I highly recommend Montessori for the younger years...it is a whole child approach.
How are the Montesori academics for middle school children? I always thought Montessori was for younger children only.
Well, we may be about to find that out! Our montessori school ends in 5th grade. However, there is another montessori/open school that will now go pre-k-8th. We are debating going here for middle school or to Catholic School.
I will say that montessori was great for elem. school, espcecially through 3rd grade. We love the service, whole child approach of montessori (arts and other interests are as important as academics). Not sure if we want this, or the structure and estabilished program of Catholic school for middle school. We are still debating...with 2 weeks to go until school starts! Ugh...
I went to a Quaker school from 8th-12th grade. I liked the social awareness it brought me. It did help form me into the Democrat I am now, which is very different from my Republican parents. I had a great education and loved their philosophy.
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Attended a Friends School!
