Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I tend to think schools make a bigger deal over smart individualistic girls who are less outgoing than they do boys. Especially if the teacher herself is little Miss Bubbly.
I don't know so much that it's "schools" vs people but I think it is difficult for an extrovert to understand that an introvert is ok with 2 friends
Sort of not really this if she's introverted by nature. Or, at least, there needs to be some care with how it's done. Encouraging social activities to help her "get over" her "shyness" is the wrong way to think about someone who's introverted. It's hard to really explain in a post or even a thread.
Get the book I linked a few posts up.
First off, I'm not sure what makes you think you're the only person whose opinion is valid so that the rest of us should "get the book" you recommended, or the only person responding who is also an introvert themselves. You put several things into quotes in your response to me such as "get over" and "shyness" that were not things I ever stated. Perhaps you should read the rest of the thread a little more carefully before responding next time?
I stand by what I posted. For many introverts, social skills can be a challenge. It's not that being introverted is wrong by any means, but it can be difficult to compete later in life when you're trying to be a member of a team or the workforce. Unfortunately, many times it's social connections that mean getting the job or not, getting a promotion or not. Being forced to come out of your comfort zone a little in steps along the way so that even if it's not your nature to be highly social, you have that club in your bag for times you need it is a good thing.
Last edited by kitkatbar; 03-11-2014 at 09:01 AM..
First off, I'm not sure what makes you think you're the only person whose opinion is valid so that the rest of us should "get the book" you recommended, or the only person responding who is also an introvert themselves. You put several things into quotes in your response to me such as "get over" and "shyness" that were not things I ever stated. Perhaps you should read the rest of the thread a little more carefully before responding next time?
I stand by what I posted. For many introverts, social skills can be a challenge. It's not that being introverted is wrong by any means, but it can be difficult to compete later in life when you're trying to be a member of a team or the workforce. Unfortunately, many times it's social connections that mean getting the job or not, getting a promotion or not. Being forced to come out of your comfort zone a little in steps along the way so that even if it's not your nature to be highly social, you have that club in your bag for times you need it is a good thing.
When someone else is forcing you to do it that only serves to make it worse, not better.
I'm an introvert by nature.
I actually dropped a class in college because the final was a presentation to the class.
Being introverted did not hurt my career at all.
Software engineer at a multinational for over 20+ years earning a very good salary.
A team of 5 or 6 is not the same as a roomful of strangers.
People came to know that I am a quiet person but not mute.
A few years into my career I had an opportunity travel to a trade show.
Part of it was giving a presentation to a room full of people.
I almost didn't go. It was then I decided to take the bull by the horns.
I confided my fears to my mentor and he helped me.
I got through it.
Introverts will find their way in the world and will socialize on their own terms.
Forcing them because you think you have to may make it worse and cause the introvert to go even further into their shell.
I got my promotions because I earned them not because I had the right connections.
Last edited by HappyTexan; 03-11-2014 at 10:07 AM..
Just had our daughter's mid-year assessment with her Kindergarten teacher, who said that she is very high on the academic performance chart. (We kinda knew since she's been reading - and enjoying - Encyclopedia Brown, while being able to do simple math.)
She was very quick to point out, however, that at this age of around five or six, just as important - if not more important, is the social and emotional development of a child. Any child.
Our daughter is naturally introverted and somewhat shy. Her advanced academics seem to build her self esteem though.
We know all about the power of positive reinforcement, but what else can we do specifically to make sure that socially and emotionally, she can be more confident about herself?
FYI, we don't push her academically. She just loves to read, and the math part seems to come easy too. Our school district is a fairly reputable one in New Jersey, and the teacher in particular has been described as the "cream of the crop," so I really think it's on us as parents to supplement whatever the school is teaching, which has a focus on social development in Kindergarten; i.e. I have full confidence that the school is doing what it's supposed to be doing for our child.
I am that to this day and I'm retired
I guess I'm lucky in that back in the day being shy and introverted wasn't seen as something to be "corrected".
I got a college degree, software engineering and a job with a big multinational corporation for over 20+ years.
This shy, introverted girl became a software engineer who had teams of guys working under her direction and did presentations to corporate managers (the ones that arrived via limo) with no qualms.
This would be the same shy, introverted girl who wanted to be a tree in the first grade play rather than try out for a speaking part
Life has a way of working itself out.
Introverts will bow to social norms when they need to or want to.
In this society today being shy and introverted is seen as something out of the ordinary and need to be corrected.
When someone else is forcing you to do it that only serves to make it worse, not better.
I'm an introvert by nature.
I actually dropped a class in college because the final was a presentation to the class.
Being introverted did not hurt my career at all.
Software engineer at a multinational for over 20+ years earning a very good salary.
A team of 5 or 6 is not the same as a roomful of strangers.
People came to know that I am a quiet person but not mute.
A few years into my career I had an opportunity travel to a trade show.
Part of it was giving a prevention to a room full of people.
I almost didn't go. It was then I decided to take the bull by the horns.
I confided my fears to my mentor and he helped me.
I got through it.
Introverts will find their way in the world and will socialize on their own terms.
Forcing them because you think you have to may make it worse and cause the introvert to go even further into their shell.
I got my promotions because I earned them not because I had the right connections.
I agree that there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. I guess I was one growing up - they used call me "painfully shy." How I suffered over that! Everyone trying to "fix" me....it only made things worse. However, I am and have always been a really good public speaker, and although I find social interactions a bit challenging (Ok, very challenging), networking and relationship-building in the workplace have never been problems for me. Perhaps I would be more successful if I was a bit more emotionally savvy and better at reading people, but I don't think there is really any fix for that. In any case, being an introvert doesn't seem to affect me much in work situations - only in social, and the older I get, the less it seems a problem there. I sort of think one can grow out of shyness, and it can occur only in certain situations, so this obsession with labeling people is a little silly.
When someone else is forcing you to do it that only serves to make it worse, not better. I'm an introvert by nature. I actually dropped a class in college because the final was a presentation to the class.
I got my promotions because I earned them not because I had the right connections.
We are in a very different economic climate than we were decades ago. In certain fields, unfortunately for those who have a hard time with it, connections ARE what matter. I'm very happy that you've found success. There are certain fields that I think lend themselves to that. But we don't yet have any idea what this young girl will want to do, and particularly when we're talking about a young child, I think it's important to keep doors open rather than deciding to shut them in advance.
Encouraging a child to participate in a variety of activities helps them in many ways, and can help them find things they might not have otherwise considered but wind up feeling passionate about. For kids who have trouble connecting, it may very well help them find those 1-2 true, good friends that most introverts need/want. One issue when you're an introvert is that you do crave some social connection and some of the benefits that brings, but it's hard to get that when you and all the other introverts are at home most of the time. You can't find each other!
In any case, I am also an introvert and I'm glad that I was encouraged not just to throw my hands up and decide there was no other course, but to be able to talk to groups of people all day every day because I work in a field where if you can't do that, you can't work. I was encouraged (what we called "pushed" or "forced" back then before all-PC language was the standard) to branch out of my comfort zone, and for me it was a good thing.
In any case, I'm fine agreeing to disagree. What's disappointing is a few on this thread assuming that theirs is the only way to live this experience and the only view that's valid.
Just had our daughter's mid-year assessment with her Kindergarten teacher, who said that she is very high on the academic performance chart. (We kinda knew since she's been reading - and enjoying - Encyclopedia Brown, while being able to do simple math.)
She was very quick to point out, however, that at this age of around five or six, just as important - if not more important, is the social and emotional development of a child. Any child.
Our daughter is naturally introverted and somewhat shy. Her advanced academics seem to build her self esteem though.
We know all about the power of positive reinforcement, but what else can we do specifically to make sure that socially and emotionally, she can be more confident about herself?
FYI, we don't push her academically. She just loves to read, and the math part seems to come easy too. Our school district is a fairly reputable one in New Jersey, and the teacher in particular has been described as the "cream of the crop," so I really think it's on us as parents to supplement whatever the school is teaching, which has a focus on social development in Kindergarten; i.e. I have full confidence that the school is doing what it's supposed to be doing for our child.
Well do you think being shy and introverted is something that needs to be "fixed" ?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
