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I don't remember excessive bullying in 1st through 12th grade (1992 - 2004). Generally when kids were bullied a little too much, the fists went flying and the "bullies" ended up getting their butts kicked.
I'm not suggesting that fighting is the answer to everything but sometimes, it's a much easier solution...especially for younger kids pre-high school. I see the 'mean girls' mindset and I wish the bullied girls would just kick the popular girls in the shins.
OP, where do you live in King County? We're on Seattle Eastside, I have a second grader and from what I can see, bullying is NOT rampant here, it is not generally tolerated in the better schools, and the student population is generally culturally diverse and from highly educated, professional families, many immigrants. Kids are very accepting of diversity and differences, and focus on education and not stupid popularity contests.
However, this is in fairly good suburban schools - I can't speak for more rougher or urban areas.
OP, where do you live in King County? We're on Seattle Eastside, I have a second grader and from what I can see, bullying is NOT rampant here, it is not generally tolerated in the better schools, and the student population is generally culturally diverse and from highly educated, professional families, many immigrants. Kids are very accepting of diversity and differences, and focus on education and not stupid popularity contests.
However, this is in fairly good suburban schools - I can't speak for more rougher or urban areas.
I live in Burien and haven't experienced it first hand. The people I spoke about were in a better public school in Olympia and one in Totem Lake.
We are looking at buying a home in Renton, Maple Valley, Covington, or possibly Mill Creek now.
Wish we could afford the east side. Much less everything there!
It's great to hear there that you found so many outlets available for your kids.
We were going to home school before hearing the horror stories, hearing them almost solidified it for me. We are keeping an open mind with this co-op school and my fiance will be there 2x a week helping along with 7 other parents. The co-op focusses on exploring arts and crafts and socializing the kids mainly. Nothing too forced so that's good.
Just curious why did you guys decide on charter school? And how did they like the transition? Guessing it was boring for them.
Only one hour wow? I guess I figured it'd be 2-3 hours.
Outside classes as in tutors or charter programs?
No question.. I'd think there's much less exposure and peer pressure though home schooling. Then of course there's the neighborhood kids of different ages. I remember seeing quite a bit for my age having older siblings and lots of older neighborhood kids in our neighborhood.
It seems in this day and age the media and internet can play a big role in how a kid is influenced. It seems as if it's very popular to "not" care in this day and age. These kids are almost praised as being cool because of their lack of self consciousness. Like a whole breed of "Jackass" (the show) kids doing things for attention. The word "normal" takes on a whole new meaning when bad behavior is constantly displayed online and not accounted for. At this point in time I can't imagine how I'm going to monitor her online activity. Do I give her a phone? maybe an old style one just for dialing.
It was a Montessori charter school and they liked some things about it and disliked others. Because it was a charter, it wasn't true Montessori, and I hated the standardized test prep. My daughter in particular did not care about the practice tests. They both did fine on the FCATS, but none of us were interested in repeating the experience.
I wouldn't worry about how you'll monitor the online activities of a child who is now 3. Who knows what will be available in 10 years or so (when most kids get phones)? Your ideals will change a lot over time, so you'll just make those decisions when the time comes.
Our school system has a strict anti bullying policy. They have several rally's that talk about what bullying is and what to do about it as well as what it means to be a good person overall. They extensively talk about it in class too. It's basically no tolerance and can lead up to expulsion.
I know many who home school and not one family does it because they had a problem with bullying. Most do it because they don't like the schools curriculum. However, that's another topic for another thread!
We mostly sought out small classes held privately. For instance, a woman who has published several books on teaching writing through readings in history lives in our area, and teaches weekly writing/history classes. We found an art teacher who taught small classes in her home, and a swimming instructor who came to our community pool to teach a small group. In this way we were able to have classes NOT taught by us, the parents, while still keeping the same group of kids together.
I will say though that since I started homeschooling, the popularity of charter programs has exploded. We never used one, but at this point I would say 80% of the homeschoolers we know, do. At least in California, these offer families a significant amount of money (over $2000/year per child, to be used at the family's discretion for school supplies, educational classes, field trips, etc.) and require minimal supervision.
If you have the personal wealth, extensive free time, personal knowledge and resources to home school good for you. Personally I am a huge believer in public school for a large variety of reasons. (Some of which are the exact things that scare people into homeschooling.) I believe in the idea of children not being the center of attention, having to deal with less than friendly kids on occasion, learning to succeed in a group environment even if that means they get less individualized instruction etc. But... That is a matter of personal philosophy.
If your main reason for homeschooling is bullying I would say to save your money/time/resources as bullying is on the decline from when we were kids... and we all turned out alright, right? I understand much better the parents who feel as though they can do a better job academically than their neighborhood school, or have fringe beliefs they want to instill, or have unique philosophical beliefs around what education should look like. (even if I disagree with them on these issues)
There's still plenty of time to decide whether homeschooling is the preferred route for your daughter. She's still pretty young. My second daughter is extremely shy, introverted and we suspect she may be on the spectrum (Aspie). This is something I've known and observed since she was a very young toddler. She's also very bright and "nerdy," as some peers have said. I think I worried some as she progressed in grade school because that's when their personalities really come out and other peers start to notice differences in how other kids socialize. She and her best friend were targets of a bully in third grade. I believe that student was moved to another class mid-year. Both she and her friend are the quiet and studious types.
We have considered homeschooling her (or going through K-12) on a number of occasions. The main reason she wanted to wait and see this year is because she was hoping to get one of her favorite teachers. She has very few friends because she tends to keep to her self and prefers solitary activities (reading, drawing, etc.) to group activities. She finds most of the students in her class obnoxious.
I don't put a lot of stock into the notion that school is necessary to socialize with peers. Considering my older kids don't socialize much in class as they're introverts and quiet (also, the class environment in dd1's classes is more academic with little socializing), and have a few friends that hang out during breaks, they're not spending *that* much time socializing. (Dd1 transferred to a new middle school this year and spends lunchtime reading or listening to music)
This is something you'll have to observe as your daughter ages. My older two daughters are INFP introverts. They don't need to socialize with a lot of people. They find it exhausting, and they're also selective about the people they do interact with. My son is extroverted. He tends to be indiscriminate at his age, but that's typical for a lot of 2nd graders. If they're more extroverted, they just like socializing with a lot of people.
If you choose to homeschool eventually, you can join co-ops and communities. We live in a large city and with a lot of different groups, and because we're secular, we tend to stick with secular homeschooling groups.
Interestingly, my kids' school district just opened up a school called Unschool for 9th and 10th grade. We align with this philosophy and hope the school will expand to include middle school grades. The way the school is structured is said to promote cooperative learning in a mixed grade setting. This, coupled with the type of students it attracts, can be a great place for the self-directed and introverted learner.
11 kids; 7 boys, 4 girls. Currently range in age from 13 to 31.
1 high-functioning ASD & 1 severe ASD. My kids have ranged from AP/Honor students to severe needs in SPED & everywhere inbetween.
All Colorado public schools. 5 received "supplemental" homeschooling for anywhere from 1 semester to 3 years. I still have 3 at home & attending public schools: 2 in 11th grade & 1 in the 8th grade.
I will add that I did not actually teach the homeschool program. That would have been a disaster.Some people have an inate ability to communicate in a way that teaches & I do not have that ability; despite being college educated with a degree. My mom is the one who taught the curriculum, as she was the one with degrees in education & had taught everything from elementary grades to the university level. I was skeptical at first. She wanted to do it & each child that she taught excelled in academics at least 2 grades ahead by the time they returned to public schools.
I will add that our school district does have a significant population of low-income & ESL students, with several schools having received Title 1 designation. It is the only district in our area that covers urban (inner-city) regions as well as suburban or rural. It suffers the inattention of aging resident voters regarding mill-levy opportunities, while the districts serving areas of suburban sprawl benefit from the younger families they attract.
In the end; none of this has mattered. As with everything else in life; you get out of it what you put into it.
For families that insist on education as a priority, there can be some benefits in attending public schools with disadvantaged demographics. Many are eligible for & have received grants & funding for programs that are proven to boost student success & enrichment. This is money that cannot go to the football team, remodeling projects or into general-use accounts. Instead; a district may opt for hiring highly qualified teachers for early childhood education & offer the community free preschool for all children ages 3-5, including special needs. It may provide technology advantages typically found only in private or high-income district schools; such as free cellular wi-fi enabled iPads for every student or scholarships for enrichment programs.
Regarding bullying? My 3 oldest did attend school for a couple of years in the district that serves the highest-income households in our area. My impression was that students were at a HIGHER risk of bullying there, than in the disadvantaged districts. There is more potential for the bar to be set impossibly high in wealthy schools vs a lower-income school; where not having the latest iPhone & social media accounts at age 10 is the norm rather than the status quo.
It was very rare that any of mine either witnessed or experienced bullying in elementary school. All of mine witnessed bullying in middle school & then in high school those incidents dropped back to a "rarely" status. It was probably about 10 years ago when the online bullying started to surpass the in-school incidents & almost exclusively this happened in the girls' social circle vs the boys.
My experience with socialization? My personal feeling is that highly structured activities where a parent remains in the same room watching a child like a hawk; is not really adequate social interaction. it's just another venue for a controlled environment & constant parental presence.
Our school district allows for homeschooled students to particopate in all extra-curricular & athletics & arts programs. My 15 yr old twins have homeschool students in the music program, cross-country track & on their Robotics Team. My now 21 yr old daughter was on the swim team at this same school during her homeschooled years.
You don't need to feel helpless to ensure her safety if she attends school. I am the "unannounced dropped in to observe" parent. My kids are never surprised to see me at school & neither are their peers & teachers. They would be surprised to know how many times I was observing without them having seen me.
I NEVER stay long enough to be a distraction; it's literally a "drop in" visit, at random times that allows me to note the dynamics & supervision provided in the classroom, during gym, or on the playground.
If I saw something alarming (which I never have) I would say something to the principal immediately but I just keep my eyes open & my mouth shut otherwise.
This is your right as a parent. Any school your child attends is "your" school. I used to think teachers thought I was a helicopter parent but just recently I was complimented by several teachers & a lead district social worker who told me they wished "more parents were as interested in what/how we do for our students". I also monitor at random times all social media apps.
And the rest of the time; they are free to make mistakes & get themselves in & out of awkward situations. To navigate disagreements. To be offended & sometimes offend. To struggle or problem solve on their own ... That's part of growing up too.
This has just been my experience & others may have experienced these things differently!
My experience with socialization? My personal feeling is that highly structured activities where a parent remains in the same room watching a child like a hawk; is not really adequate social interaction. it's just another venue for a controlled environment & constant parental presence.
I'm not sure what this is referring to (and I agree with what you've written), but I do want to clarify that that's not how most homeschoolers I know "socialize," if that's what you were saying. Generally the moms are on one end of the playground and the kids are on the other. Or a mom is teaching a different co-op class than the one her kids are in. My kids were in classes that I dropped them off in whenever possible because I agree that helicoptering over them did them no favors. That seems to be the prevailing mindset among the homeschoolers I know. (I'm talking about kids over the age of 6/7.)
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Who knows what will be available in 10 years or so (when most kids get phones)? Your ideals will change a lot over time, so you'll just make those decisions when the time comes.
