I know exactly what you're experiencing! And I know the solution.
I'm a first-class procrastinator, of anything I don't enthusiastically want to do. I think it largely goes back to high school. Like you, I was a top student, so didn't have to study long or hard in any subject. I put off most of it until the night before the paper was due, or the exam, and then did the work. And got the A or A+. So both my conscious and my subconscious knew I could put schoolwork off until the last minute, and triumph.
It's all about neural paths, Tess (love that name!!). When we were younger, we developed ways of doing things. Now we put ourselves back in a familiar situation (schoolwork) and bingo -- the brain remembers exactly how to do this: at the last minute!
You want a few results: you want to love yourself and be damned pleased with yourself; you want to acquire the information needed for your classes; and you want to do well in your classes. Right?
If you can achieve those goals by putting off studying until the last minute, and you can carve out the time needed at the last minute, why change?
Maybe that sounds like strange advice, but maybe that way will work for you. I've been studying since I got my M.A., and I've done it
procrastinatingly for decades. It works for me, so I stopped believing I was supposed to be someone else. Maybe
because you excel at it, you don't have to change it, hmm? You know -- if it ain't broke, don't fix it?
If you cannot achieve those goals by procrastinating, then change the neural paths in your brain.
Do what authors do: set aside an hour or two in the
mornings on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, or whenever, and study, do the research, write the papers. (Mornings are best because the brain is actually brighter, clearer and faster in the morning, so it's easier to think and learn then.) But
only one or two hours (depending on how much there is to get through) -- you must give yourself a clear end; can't go beyond that time, so that nothing in you yearns to stop, nothing feels the task is "endless".
After a couple of weeks you should get a sense of how many hours per week will work for you, and then you can merrily go to your Brain Time, or whatever clever name you call it, with your whole being knowing it's going to indulge in something wonderful -- for only a limited amount of time, though, so you are always enticed...
If it ain't broke, Tess, don't fix it. But if you don't like the results you're getting, then pretend to be an author. Well, it's not pretend: you
are the author of your happiness and your life...
Go forth in joy!!
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).
Still.. I can trick myself all that I want and it's still up to me to say to myself that I will get something done today. Only you can get rid of the "but I have time tomorrow" voice in your head.
