So they won't let me have my son repeat 3rd grade... (kindergarten, public school)
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We moved to a different state and I had all intentions of having my son who is 8, repeat 3rd grade this year. There's nothing really wrong with him academically, but the new state(Florida) has a cut off date of Sept 1 while my original state had a Dec 1 cut off. He has a Oct 29 birthday. I went to the new school to try to register him and they will not allow him to repeat 3rd because he had already completed 3rd in NY.
The new date would make it so my son will go through school sort of like he'd skipped a grade. He'll be 8 for a full 2 months into 4th grade while the other kids are 9 and 10. I'm just very uncomfortable with this situation. He's very small(54 lbs) and shy.
So now I'm trying to figure out my options... How hard will this fight be if I choose to challenge the school? I didn't realize the school would give me such trouble with this. Should this be a big enough issue to send him to private school(which would put a finacial strain in our budget) or perhaps even homeschool? I've even thought of not sending him to school until about 1/2 way through the school year so they'll have no choice but to have him go to 3rd, but maybe I'll get thrown in jail for truency or something.
Part of me thinks I could just send him into 4th, but then I worry about the future impact of his social and mental well being to be with kids who aren't even his chronological peers. I'm trying to make this transition as easy as possible for my son. I've considered doing the private school thing for 1 year(3rd grade), then putting him back into public school the next year, but would that end up being more disruptive than beneficial?
Anyways, just looking for opinions and advice... thanks.
Depending upon where you moved from, he may be bored out of his skull repeating a grade. Florida is widely known for following the educational curve, rather than leading it (state BOE motto: "thank God for Mississippi"). And I suspect that the ramifications of repeating might do more damage to his "social and mental well being" than remaining in his appropriate grade.
However, you're the parent, and presumably you know your child best. If you truly believe it is in the best interest of your child to go against the grain, go ahead and fight them on it.
We moved to a different state and I had all intentions of having my son who is 8, repeat 3rd grade this year. There's nothing really wrong with him academically, but the new state(Florida) has a cut off date of Sept 1 while my original state had a Dec 1 cut off. He has a Oct 29 birthday. I went to the new school to try to register him and they will not allow him to repeat 3rd because he had already completed 3rd in NY.
The new date would make it so my son will go through school sort of like he'd skipped a grade. He'll be 8 for a full 2 months into 4th grade while the other kids are 9 and 10. I'm just very uncomfortable with this situation. He's very small(54 lbs) and shy.
So now I'm trying to figure out my options... How hard will this fight be if I choose to challenge the school? I didn't realize the school would give me such trouble with this. Should this be a big enough issue to send him to private school(which would put a finacial strain in our budget) or perhaps even homeschool? I've even thought of not sending him to school until about 1/2 way through the school year so they'll have no choice but to have him go to 3rd, but maybe I'll get thrown in jail for truency or something.
Part of me thinks I could just send him into 4th, but then I worry about the future impact of his social and mental well being to be with kids who aren't even his chronological peers. I'm trying to make this transition as easy as possible for my son. I've considered doing the private school thing for 1 year(3rd grade), then putting him back into public school the next year, but would that end up being more disruptive than beneficial?
Anyways, just looking for opinions and advice... thanks.
If he did well in 3rd grade why would you want him to repeat it? I don't view size as a reason to hold a kid back.
My twins a attended private school (through 3rd grade) where they started a year early, then I transfered them over to public school. I had them repeat 3rd grade to be with same age peers. When filling out the enrollment papers, I discussed this with the principal who happened to be in the room (although my mind was already made up). He thoroughly agreed that in the long run it would be better to be with same age peers. Academically, my kids would have done fine in 4th grade. The choice of repeating 3rd or continuing on to 4th was completely left up to me.
I never regretted my decision. I'm glad that now they are entering high school at 14.8 years rather than 13.8 years.
Did you discuss this with the principal? Have an actual meeting to discuss placement? If so, and placement in 3rd was denied, take it up with the school board.
But, yeah, going to private school for a year, then transfering (if you decide to at that point) would accomplish the same thing.
If he did well in 3rd grade why would you want him to repeat it? I don't view size as a reason to hold a kid back.
For the same reason I would not want to skip him a grade. Lots of kids can be pushed up a grade and do fine, but most parents don't do that and most schools would not allow that. I want my child in the correct grade which according to his birthdate, would put him in 3rd grade.
His size just compounds the problem of being in a class that is not meant for his age. It's not the reason for holding him back. He's not a child that was redshirtted, however I wish I had done that so I would not have this problem now. The schools allow parents to hold back their children putting them in an entirely younger grade before starting kindergarten, but they're not letting my age appropriate child be in the grade that he's suppose to be in.
Twins4lynn: Thanks for your response. It seems my situation is a bit like yours was. I truly think it would be in the best interest of my son to be in the grade that is fit for his age.
Since it's summer, I only had the front desk/registration person to talk to, but she told me it was the law. I'll wait until closer to the start of school to try to talk to the principal. I hope that will work. If not, I guess I better scramble for a private school. Sounds like you are happy with that decision you made back then.
Aconite: I've heard the reputation about Florida schools as well, but I don't think my NY school was so great either. Most important to me is that my child is in the grade that is grouped with other kids his age.
I taught fourth grade in Florida last year. I had a student transfer half way through the year from NY. He was in fourth grade there and transferred directly in to my fourth grade class. However, he was almost a whole year ahead of my students. He became bored and disruptive. I had to create extra lessons and projects for him to work on so that he would continue to learn.
In my personal opinion, I would let him go into fourth grade. Depending on the area of NY that you are moving from, he will most likely be on a fourth grade level already.
As far as his size... at that age there are several boys that are still "small". I had 24 students 9 girls and 15 boys. Of the 15 boys I had 6 that were huge (5'+ and 100lbs+) the other nine were smaller (4' and under 80lbs). They were even starting to get in to the "boyfriend/girlfriend" attitudes and most of the girls flocked to my smaller boys. Just some food for thought.
Let us know what you decide and good luck. What area are you moving to in Florida?
Since it's summer, I only had the front desk/registration person to talk to, but she told me it was the law. I'll wait until closer to the start of school to try to talk to the principal. I hope that will work. If not, I guess I better scramble for a private school. Sounds like you are happy with that decision you made back then.
Aconite: I've heard the reputation about Florida schools as well, but I don't think my NY school was so great either. Most important to me is that my child is in the grade that is grouped with other kids his age.
If your major concern re: schools is that your son be with age-mates, Florida may work out well for you.
I would suggest, though, that you take the word of the office personnel with a very large grain of salt. Many of the administrators here in Florida are poorly versed in education law. The office personnel are generally even less-qualified (and in this particular case, wrong). Doing your own research will stand you in extremely good stead over the next nine years, no matter how this issue shakes out.
I agree that you should get clarification on the "law" issue--Aconite is right about the know-it-all receptionists.
However, I don't think that it would be wise, for your son's sake, that he repeat a year. He will suffer academically in the long run. In fact, more progressive schools are grouping students according to ability b/c it has been shown to be better, in general, for all students. I have a feeling that he will be ahead of his Florida classmates, even in fourth grade, so having him repeat third will be a disaster.
By the by, I grew up and went to school in CT. and was a September baby. Everyone was always older than me in my grade, but not really more mature. I also excelled academically b/c I was always challenged. I can't imagine if they had made me repeat a grade or kept me a grade below! Your son would have been going into fourth grade in New York anyway so why mess with it?
If you are concerned about him being bullied, etc., then I would begin communicating with other parents at the school and try to get him a buddy--someone he knows before school starts. That way, he will not be introduced to the school as a total stranger, which will probably make him even more shy. Furthermore, having a friend--or, even better, friends (even aquaintances are good)--early on might draw him out and make him feel a bit more comfortable in his new environment.
I would send him on to 4th as well, unless he had had a great struggle academically in 3rd.
Since there are just as likely as many kids who won't turn 9 until August, right before schools starts, as there might be those who turn 10 in September, he still fits right into the age group of the grade level.
Along that same line...if you put him back in 3rd there just might be lots of kids who will have just turned 8 in August, so very young compared to him. You'd be trading him for one of the youngest to one of the oldest, and that has it's own distinct disadvantages. (think of him driving at 16 while most of his classmates might still be 14 if you put him back)
I think it's quite different to hold a child back for an extra year before Kindergarten than to put a child back through a grade level they've already mastered.
Either way, there will be over a years difference in ages in any grade level and quite large variances in sizes, so I'd focus more on his academic ability and his social skills than on his age/size.
I have a different perspective. My brother's birthday is Oct. 24, so he entered Kindergarten at 4 in Michigan, but we moved to Tennessee when he started 1st grade, where the law was Sept. as well. He did fine in elementary school but REALLY struggled when he began middle school, so much so that he was homeschooled for a couple of years. When he went back to public school, he went into 8th grade when the class he had been in was in 9th... well, I think it helped him to be with the younger group ... he was popular, well liked by everyone and wound up being valedictorian.
I just thought I would offer that perspective.
Good luck!
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