There's Appeal And Then There Is Sex Appeal

[Enow]

Originally Posted by amanda0808

I think that two people should always try to look great for each other and try to bring something to the table that they can offer to the other person. If a man finds a woman to be physically attractive, I hope the woman can offer something else (i.e. brains, personality) that would want the man to stay with her as she ages. But I DO believe that two peopel should strive to look great for each other to the best of their abilities.

I agree. How a person care about themselves should reflect how they will care about the other, especially their soulmate.

Friendship lasts longer than romance. I would think that a woman that is running on sex appeal might reconsider building friendship more often so that when they do grow old and such, friendship will be there as the fading glory of the outward apearances becomes more obvious over time.

[amanda0808]

Originally Posted by Enow

So in spite of those rare moments, you are not deterred from wearing anything differently than from what you are accustomed to?

Or do you change the scenery by which you wear the outfit to avoid any further rare moments so as to avoid the ones that were staring?

Thanks for replying.

I'll wear different things, but it's mostly dependent on my location as opposed to the way people will react to me.

I don't focus on people who stare or react in a similar manner- like I said, I've never felt threatened and I don't see the need to change the way I dress if I like dressing a certain way. But yea, if I'm at a school function with my son, or at an art museum, I definitely will dress differently than if I were hanging out with my girlfriends at a karaoke bar.

Anyway, going back to the whole thing about attracting someone with just looks...it's important that two people are attracted to each other physically. But another thing that tells me a lot about a guy is whether he is interested in engaging himself in things that don't involve sex appeal or physical attractiveness. Don't get me wrong- I would love for a guy to constantly compliment me physically- but if that's all he's able to do, then I know that he's not the right guy for me.

[ChessieMom]

I do like to dress in an attractive manner...and certainly I like to appear appealing to my guy. Occasionally, that could mean that I might attract the attention of someone I don't care for. I think that simply comes with the territory. I don't go out alone, dressed provocatively; that would simply be stupid, and I am not a stupid woman. As long as I am with my fella, and he is happy, I'm cool with that.

[seeniorita]

I think every woman has (or should have) a basic threshold for how they dress. There's nothing wrong with dressing sexy, however it can easily turn ho'ish if done too provocatively. I think the greatest sex appeal is when you feel good about what you are wearing while showing just enough to make the man's imagination shift into overdrive.

[LexWest]

Originally Posted by Enow

Do people really need to show off their bodies? I mean: there is being appealing to the more flamboyant as being sexually appealing.

The problem here is .... when attractive women get what they want: did they get the man by being sexually appealing to him or not? I reckon if a woman caters to the outward appearance and feeding the man's lust, should women be surprised if the man they have has a wandering eye?

Realistically, or so they say, in order for any relationships to ensue, there has to be a sex appeal at the first, but should it be that way?

People say that they want someone to grow old with: then what they are talking about cannot be based on sex appeal, but on friendship.

I just wonder how women choose their fashion and beauty.

I can see how women want to be sexually appealing to the man they have their eyes on, and yet at the same time, they are drawing unwanted attention from men they do not care to attract.

Should that make women think differently about fashion and beauty in that regard?

I'm a guy BTW and so just wondering if any of you women out there in this forum ever considered the conundrum of appealing in the wrong way.

My two cents:

While women don't want men harassing them, to a certain extent, women do want to be noticed. Even if they "dress for themselves," subconsciously, they know certain styles will appeal to men; and will take some satisfaction if they're noticed by them. For example, while I prefer a moderate heel (2-3 inches), when I walk into a mall with 4+ inch heels and leggings, men might likely stare or look twice. While I'm not expecting men these men to approach me, or be seriously interested, it's a good feeling when a man that's working stopped what he was doing while walking by; and even if another man from across the room watches as well. It's a way of assures women that they not only look good, but men find their look attractive.

[Enow]

Originally Posted by LexWest

My two cents:

While women don't want men harassing them, to a certain extent, women do want to be noticed. Even if they "dress for themselves," subconsciously, they know certain styles will appeal to men; and will take some satisfaction if they're noticed by them. For example, while I prefer a moderate heel (2-3 inches), when I walk into a mall with 4+ inch heels and leggings, men might likely stare or look twice. While I'm not expecting men these men to approach me, or be seriously interested, it's a good feeling when a man that's working stopped what he was doing while walking by; and even if another man from across the room watches as well. It's a way of assures women that they not only look good, but men find their look attractive.

I reckon I am around the wrong kind of women then.

These women I am around seem to be looking for drama... pointless and mootless drama.

If I happened to noticed something different about somebody like her gaining a little weight and it was noticeable, and I was not looking at her for any inordinate length of time either: it was just in passing, I am condemned as sexually harrassing that person.

I had not said anything to anyone what I had noticed, but just from that small observance, it is sexual harrassment: and I am a virgin.

Seems like the kind of women I am around are adolescent in behaviour except they are down right serious about taking that incident and making every other look as if I was a looking and lusting look.

God knows and I know if I was looking and lusting, but these women dress to attract and yet they act like I have to have permission to even look at them, and I am not even going out of my way to look at them. Weird.

Hence the thread.

It's probably because I am not attractive or handsome and look like an average joe, but I talk with an accent only because I am hard of hearing: deaf in my left ear and tinnitus in my right ear as I do noticed that some people act like they have to listen and discern what I am saying sometimes because I do have a lazy type speech. I have listned to my speech on an audio tape and even a video tape and I hate the way I talk and act.

But I don't see how or why the women are taking this route with me unless slander has prejudiced the women to see me as a sexual harrasser so that even a look of observance regarding their appearance is construed as sexual harrassment.

Sometimes I think what happened at the Salem Witch's trial, can happen in other ways in present day America.

I wonder if my false accusers knew if I was still a virgin, waiting for my "Rebecca" as Isaac was matched up by God with his wife? Probably not, but then again, nowadays, I doubt anyone would believe that a man cares about being chaste and a virgin till marriage, thanks to the media.

As it is, I can pretty much forget about finding a wife and even a friend thanks to my enemies that hate me without a cause. I am thankful that Jesus Christ is with me always as I am trusting Him to help me be His friend in following Him as I know He is My Friend in that He gave up His life for me as there is no greater love than that.

Thanks to all that have replied:

I had wondered about the hypocrisey of my accusers, but I reckoned somebody gave me the scarlet letter A or something that others find it all to readily to believe the worst about me.

Jesus did say to expect persecution and even those that falsely accuse me to just forgive them and love them by making myself scarce to prevent any further unnecessary drama.

I don't have a problem with the way women dress, but I do think that by the way some women dress, if they want a man to love her as a person and not just for her body, they should cultivate more towards friendship rather than the romantic appeal that usually caters to sexuality or even the pride of life. This is me saying this, seeing how divorce is so readily available in America these days.

Seems they ought to change the wedding ceremony:

"For better and not for worse: for richer and not for poorer: and through sickness but not the ones that makes you look gross....till divorce or death do us part."

Hardly a wedding ceremony by those words and yet most marriages wind up as if it is that way.

Sorry... I digress.

I reckon I am to be content with Jesus' help, and not be concern about the "offended" women when they are probably just ego-tripping at my expense.

Thanks for adding your two cents.

[Wilson513]

Nature answers this question for us. when girls get to about 14 or 15 (nature's correct time for mating) they become more attractive to men by natural changes in their appearance. Their hair gets shiny, the body shape fills out including breast size, their eyes get sparkely (is that a word), voice lowers, pheromones, etc.

Older women seeking to be attractive simply mimic these natural, biological changes; some successfully, some not so successfully.

[glastron_79]

Originally Posted by seeniorita

I think every woman has (or should have) a basic threshold for how they dress. There's nothing wrong with dressing sexy, however it can easily turn ho'ish if done too provocatively. I think the greatest sex appeal is when you feel good about what you are wearing while showing just enough to make the man's imagination shift into overdrive.

You took the words right out of my mouth.