[curiousLisa]

Please, any one who can help me and provide me with good accurate information I will be very greatfull. I moved here to Wildwood Florida from Massachusetts 2 years ago. We are miserable. I am in my 40's and have 2 grown children and a 5 year old. Yes you heard that correctly, children in their 20's and a FIVE yr old. . I am neither. I have gone through a very rough expensive divorce. My husband was extremely abusive and is now awaiting trial in Massachusetts. I had to run away in order to protect my child. I had a horrible battle infront of me as I was fighting it over state lines and my other children were now adults and their records were sealed. The area that I live in is near my mother but it is surrounded by the "Villages" 98% of the people around here are retired. The age range is 68-88 yrs old. I have a business degree and it only pays $7-9 per hr. I am completely reponsible for supporting my child. My X has not payed childsupport in over 2 years and I keep being told that it is too difficult to go after it over state lines. He also owns his own business so there is no way to attach a pay check. There is no legal aid , nor pro bono attorney's in my county. (unless I am a criminal) It has cost me over $68,000.00 in the last 5 years in attorney's fees. I am now up to my eyeballs in debt. I have had to refinance my home 3 times in order to pay to keep my child safe. I have been told that it is in my best interest to move, so that my X will no longer know where I am living. I must decide whether or not I am going to stay in Florida, or if I should leave the state.I need to live somewhere there are nice homes (Cement block) and Good schools. I would like there to be people in my age bracket and in my daughters so that we can have friends. I need to be able to work and support us. Right now I have been running my own cleaning company, but do not want to do that for the rest of my life. I would like to start a decorating business. We are catholic and go to church every week. No one in my parish is our age either. Unfortunately most of the parents at school are in their 20's and are married. They are also locals. They are not interested in hanging around a "yankee" that is single and almost old enough to be their mother. My daughter and I are lonely and we would like to start our new lives, in an area that we are accepted and part of the community. Please, there are a lot of years left for me to raise this child by myself. I want her to grow up in a safe,happy home with friends and a sense of belonging. Is it best we more to somewhere like Mt. dora, or Grand island, or father away, or should we leave the state completely and go to the Carolina's??? I need to make some decisions now, so that she can start the next school year off in our new home.

[ElkHunter]

I've been in the same boat only a little reversed. I'm a male. Years ago, right after we split, she went to the state and filed for aid. Then the state come after me for child support. They even called me on the phone, at the time I was doing a project in Washington State. The lady was very rude and said, your behind on child support. What are you going to do about it? I said, "Nothing". She said, you are obligated to pay for those children. (at the time we still had 2 teenagers at home.) I said, "I ain't paying a dime." She said, and why not? I said, "because the kids live with me. They're both setting here on the couch watching TV. Never heard anything else.

You've had a pretty tough row to hoe. But hang with it, it's all up hill but it gets better.

If you are concerned about him knowing where you live. Remember this. You can get lost one block from where you live now. Different street address, different number and your as good as lost. Make your phone unlisted. You are self employed. Change the name of your business. You are now mostly invisible. But remember this. Your taxes that you pay the IRS are public record. I can request a copy of your last years filing if I simply supply your SS number and pay $15. Simple as that, I have your address. So don't file from home. File from a post office box and as soon as you get your refund. Get rid of the post office box. Get a new one next year. Might cost you $20 but your much more invisible.

Remember, a house down the street is as hard to find as a house 3 states away.

[BillsFan46]

i am in a wierd spot also. i want to relocate to the area frm western new york this fall, but do not drive. no public transportation there from what i understand. i want to be fairly close to the villages since my parents live there, and they aren't getting any younger. i'd like to see them more often. does anyone have an answer to this transportation issue. seems like ocala is the only close town with a bus system.

[riveree]

Hi CuriousLisa,

As for finding parts of Florida that have a younger population, I think that's easily done.

I'm in Jacksonville, and the average age here is something like 36 and it definitely does feel that way. We have quite a few colleges (clustered mainly on the "Southside"), so there are plenty of 20-somethings and there are a lot of 30 and 40-somethings too...plenty of nightlife for each demographic too. Housing is nice and affordable, great parks system (Jax is a very outdoorsy city), easy ocean access, just a lot going for the city.

There are other cities that you might really like too - St. Augustine is lovely, Tampa might fit the bill, maybe even Orlando.

As for being an older mom, it does seem that people get married and have children at a much younger age in Florida than in the NorthEast, but I notice more and more older parents with young children these days in Jax, so the "trend" may be catching on here. I've been to some festivals over the last few weekends and saw a lot of strollers being pushed by 40+ parents.

Best of luck with your decision.

[inftmyers]

Originally Posted by riveree

Hi CuriousLisa,

As for finding parts of Florida that have a younger population, I think that's easily done.

I'm in Jacksonville, and the average age here is something like 36 and it definitely does feel that way. We have quite a few colleges (clustered mainly on the "Southside"), so there are plenty of 20-somethings and there are a lot of 30 and 40-somethings too...plenty of nightlife for each demographic too. Housing is nice and affordable, great parks system (Jax is a very outdoorsy city), easy ocean access, just a lot going for the city.

There are other cities that you might really like too - St. Augustine is lovely, Tampa might fit the bill, maybe even Orlando.

As for being an older mom, it does seem that people get married and have children at a much younger age in Florida than in the NorthEast, but I notice more and more older parents with young children these days in Jax, so the "trend" may be catching on here. I've been to some festivals over the last few weekends and saw a lot of strollers being pushed by 40+ parents.

Best of luck with your decision.

The gulf coast from Tampa south is getting younger. Can't speak for the east coast. It has older areas as well as younger. Stay away from north florida!

[Jammie]

Originally Posted by inftmyers

The gulf coast from Tampa south is getting younger. Can't speak for the east coast. It has older areas as well as younger. Stay away from north florida!

Can I ask why you said "Stay away from north Florida?" Is there something going on up there that isn't good?

[riveree]

Originally Posted by inftmyers

The gulf coast from Tampa south is getting younger. Can't speak for the east coast. It has older areas as well as younger. Stay away from north florida!

I'm curious as well what this means......?

[pirate girl]

I live in Flagler County and I've seen parents of all ages- I have a friend that has an 8 year old and three other kids who are all either in or graduated from college.

I'm also a single mother and have had a fairly easy time meeting people- through my son's activities as well as through the local social circuit. My core group of friends ranges in age from 30-60 and I rather like it that way.... I get the wisdom from the elders and I get to give some to the younger ones!

My son is finishing 8th grade this year and has been in school here since kindergarten- I've been very happy with the quality of his education and his teachers. There are lots of activities for kids- sports, dancing, arts & crafts, scouting, church groups, etc.

I've lived in NJ, Atlanta, St. Pete, Orlando, and West Palm Beach- the people here are more friendly and caring than any of those other places. That may be attributed to the length of time I've been here (10 years) and the stage of my life (30 something, raising a child) but I am very happy.

The negative is the job situation in Flagler- but Daytona is about 20 minutes south and St. Augustine is about 20 -30 minutes north. But for a decorating business you might do well- in spite of the recent real estate slump, there is still a lot of new construction taking place in new gated communities throughout the county -- and those are the types who hire decorators, right?

As for housing costs, I don't know specifics but I do know it's a buyers market- there are many brand new homes listed for sale so you would have your pick and likely get a good deal. The beach is no more than 10 minutes from anywhere in Palm Coast which would probably be a treat after Wildwood too.

If there are specifics you are interested in, feel free to send me a private message. And I wish you all the best.

[hiknapster]

I don't think the original poster is on anymore. My heart just breaks for her, since I've been there before, kinda sorta.

I have five kids, and four are in their 20's and one is seven! Of course, I'm no longer in a bad situation, but I landed in Florida due to something like that predicament.

Still, this post really breaks my heart. I sure hope she is okay.

And I love the guy they were chasing for child support and his kids were sitting right there. It takes all kind, male and female, doesn't it?

I think north Florida is more affordable with a kinder, gentler way of life, just in case that lady ever comes back.

[inftmyers]

Originally Posted by Jammie

Can I ask why you said "Stay away from north Florida?" Is there something going on up there that isn't good?

No. She was looking for a younger crowd and north florida tends to attract the older people trying to escape the hustle and bustle of coastal living. Lots of southern style communities and lots of mobile home parks. People wanting to relax love it, those looking for jobs and something to do hate it.