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Several years ago my sister hosted thanksgiving, was going to be served about 1. She put it in at 8 AM, had the cold sides premade in the fridge, all well thought out. She spent the morning shopping and I showed up at the house before she got home. The first thing that hit my nose was a smell that was a cross between sewage and a garbage dump. She got home a few minutes later and said Lord, it's spoiled! She took it out of the oven, put it in the car trunk and took it back to Safeway. She put it in a cart and was heading into the store when a clerk saw her coming, ran out and said "please don't bring it inside!" She was given a new turkey, fresh chilled, not frozen, took it home and started over. We finally ate at about 8PM. The house was freezing cold because we had to open all the doors and windows to let the stench out.
ive been in a similar situation where I had to cook turkey quickly,,,
I cut up a 20lb turkey ...cut the wings off, legs, split the breasts..
and it cooked in under 2.0 hrs at 375
even if you just split the turkey in half and lay flat,,,,it will cook 1/3 faster
I was a newlywed & my mother never cooked, so totally experimenting. I had the inlaws over, made chicken paprika & it cooked too long, so chicken bones were floating in it, & I had followed the recipe exactly.
My ex-husband was diabetic, so I made a key lime pie with Sweet & Low (that's how long ago this was, other artificial sweeteners hadn't been invented). It tasted like soap, & I told everyone to just not eat it. But my sweet FIL ate every bite & pronounced it good...I loved that man.
one blind date....we met at a classy restaurant, I'm in a suit,,,,she is dressed very well and attractive,,,,we order wine,,,things are going well,,,, we order our meals... we start to giggle,,,she goes into a cough and then,,,sneezes twice and pees on the floor!!!
she's so embarrassed she runs out of the place and takes off.
so there I am,,,,sitting at a table,,,,,all the other eyes in the place thinks somehow I'm a rat....
the server showed the hostess the chair and she wanted to bill me for it..
We invited the "fussy" branch of cousins to a picnic. Everything was fine. We were grilling our garlic wild rice burgers topped with bacon and bleu cheese and I had gone to a special store to get large and lovely sesame Kaiser buns.
Everyone was seated and waiting for the last of the dishes to come outside. My (very competitive) cousin offered to take the basket of buns out and just before she set it on the table she raised her voice in disgust, "Oh no! These buns are moldy!"
I could have died. They had looked perfectly fine the day before when I had bought them and in my morning rush hadn't even thought to check them over. Why, oh why, couldn't she have turned around to me and whispered? I would have whipped up a quick appetizer I had "forgotten" while we resolved the problem.
DH quickly ran to the closest store to replace my special buns with whatever was available but the wait dampened everybody's spirits and it was plain to see that my "fussy" side of the family was now looking askance at my whole meal.
You could have just ordered pizza after you saw it was turning into a disaster.Also didn't you have a spouse to help you entertain instead of handling it all by yourself??
haha It was a "dammit we're just gonna eat this" kinda situation. Everyone was starving including 2 cranky toddlers. And yea my wife entertained plenty....I was just distracted and fell victim to one of my dad's long winded stories from work
I was making dinner around the holidays for a few family members and friends. I don't even remember what I was making except that I was cutting up potatoes with a chef's knife. I was kind of behind on my schedule, so I was hurrying but I wasn't panicking or anything. I felt in control of the situation. But then the knife slips and I slice my finger. And it wasn't like a slit kind of cut, I actually sliced a flap open on the tip of my finger. I probably should have gone to the ER for stitches, but I didn't want to ruin the party. lol
Anyway, I'm trying to rinse it off so I can see how bad it is, and our friends' little girl is begging me to let her see it. I didn't want to do that, so she says, "That's okay, I can see the blood."
So a couple of the women are in there trying to finish up the slicing, and I say, "No, there might be blood on it!" They said no, they checked and took care of it and it was fine. I said well, okay. So I finished making the meal, but I'm sure the whole incident made the food appear a little less than appetizing.
That was when I finally believed the concept that a well sharpened knife is safer than a duller one, because it doesn't slip off the food so easily.
My siblings and I were the typically spoiled children who never had to cook a meal at home. Our mother did it all. I didn't even know how long potatoes and carrots had to boil.
Anyways, my husband and I get home from our honeymoon at 4 pm to our apartment after driving all day. Since we'd never lived there, there was absolutely NO food in the fridge. I ran to the grocery store to buy a few quick things to cook for our supper.
I was SO proud of myself that I was going to make our own first meal all by myself.
I bought frozen meat pies, a bag of frozen french fries, a can of green beans and lettuce for salad.
The meat pies were burned on the top, raw on the bottom. Nobody told me you had to preheat an oven!!
The french fries were a soggy mess. The oil wasn't hot enough.
The green beans? we all know how green beans out of a can taste.
Salad consisting of: cut up lettuce, a chopped tomato and mixed with mayo for dressing (forgot to buy dressing)
I am now quite a good cook, but hubby fessed up that while we ate that first meal he was thinking that we'd be going out for supper a LOT!
Had some newly made friends over..my table looked awesome, everything came out just in time, we all sat down to eat, plates of food were being passed around... then my furry dog comes up to the table, gives a shake, I see her hair fly into my females guest plate of food, and her daughters. THEY GLANCED AT EACH OTHER AND STOPPED EATING! Her. Husband on the other side was going to town!! (No dog hair there)
I was mortified. Embarrassed. Mad at my dog.
They didn't know I had seen the hair go flying and their looks.
I offered them another plate. They declined.
We have a pub style high table btw.
one blind date....we met at a classy restaurant, I'm in a suit,,,,she is dressed very well and attractive,,,,we order wine,,,things are going well,,,, we order our meals... we start to giggle,,,she goes into a cough and then,,,sneezes twice and pees on the floor!!!
she's so embarrassed she runs out of the place and takes off.
so there I am,,,,sitting at a table,,,,,all the other eyes in the place thinks somehow I'm a rat....
the server showed the hostess the chair and she wanted to bill me for it..
it just wasn't my night
Oh geez, poor you. That tops everything I have read here, hands down. It must have been serious pee for them to approach you like that-another thread, certainly.
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I didn't want to do that, so she says, "That's okay, I can see the blood." 
but hubby fessed up that while we ate that first meal he was thinking that we'd be going out for supper a LOT!
