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Cook the meals you want to. Make sure they are healthy and reasonably well prepared (you do not have to be a gourmet chef).
Everybody who wants to eat, will eat what's on the table. If you don't want to eat what's on the table, you can go hungry, or you can cook something else, but you have to clean up after yourself.
Tell your husband and son that from now on, this is the way it's going to be. Issue no apologies.
Sounds like my husband. His list of everyday food dislikes is longer than his long likes. Basically only veggies iceberg lettce, corn, green beans, asparagus, cucumber. I blame it on his mom catering to this.
They say to get child to try and like something new to have them eat it at least 5 times to aquire a taste for something new and different. Funny thing is my husband (and me) loves melons. I guess sometimes dislikes are really dislikes.
I also threatened, really threatened my husband to not make a deal of stuff he dislikes, just don't eat it but better not make a big deal so he doesn't influence our son with his dislikes. My son now likes pretty much all veggies. For some reason hates any type of melons, ie: watermelon, cantaloupe, they literally make him gag when he tries it, and he has but still no luck.
DO NOT CATER TO YOUR HUSBAND'S DISLIKES OR YOU WILL RUIN IT FOR YOUR CHILD.
If my husband doesn't like what I cook he can make himself a BPJ.
Don't cater to your child either, cut food in small bite size pieces, at four years old he should be eating what you are eating. Make it fun. To try broccoli I told my son they were like little trees, isn't it fun to eat trees!
Last edited by Izzie1213; 05-11-2018 at 07:14 AM..
Another idea, OP, is to start telling everyone that your husband has taken to eating nothing but natural foods, even to the point of going into the woods to find edible mushrooms and plants. Make sure people know about this new habit of his. Then, well, one day, he just happens to pick and eat the wrong mushroom...
So here is the update, this morning, he was in good mood, i guess this chat trotted in his head overnight, and he was nice this morning, he was talking to me again, asked how i slept, and prepared breakfast for himself and for our son. Things are starting to change the right way
Before he left for work, he asked if i could cook him burger for after work, and said pleaaase, he was bit sacarstic, but that's the way he is, to make his point, but i don't care, he has pride, it's hard for him to change his habits, so i'm pleased how this morning went
For lunch my son made an effort too i made pasta with ham and carrot for him, he did ate all the pasta 2 bit of ham, but it was really hard and few bits of carrot! i was surprise he actually ate them! and told him no snacks before 4pm
You guys are probably right, there might be a bigger issue in the background... but i just try to focus on the food part for now, maybe if he change and get better, everything else will get better. He is really not a bad guy, he has a lot of qualities, he is a good father, really involved
My husband is a fussy eater, and so does is our son... he probably takes that from his daddy...
It’s becoming a nightmare, we always fight because of food ��
He doesn’t like anything...
I’m French and love food, but he won’t try anything I make, he calls it “weird” food
when I ask him, what do you want to eat? He says Food! So I asked him, which kind of food? He says cooked food. I then says can you be more specific, and here the fight begins, he doesn’t know... I need to pull some kind of food from my hat, but whatever I propose he is either not in a mood for it or doesn’t like it... and then he is upset with me because I’m out of ideas,and he ends up just snacking...
I don’t know what to do with him... he is worst than a child!!!!
The worst is the evening, he doesn’t want to eat at the table, he wants something quick and easy to eat
So I usually make something like Porridge or toasted sandwiches with ham or hotdogs... but Mr is sick of it, and complaining I always cook the same, but in the same time he won’t eat anything!!! It’s hard enough it has to be something he can eat in the sofa
The problem is when I finally found something he likes, he then eats it all the time and gets sick of it!
He used to love wrap with lettuce and breaded chicken, now just seeing a wrap make him nauseous
He used to love spaghetti bolonese, so I did it twice a week, now he won’t eat it, same with omelette
Can you help me find food he might like, and can cook for him
He doesn’t like any kind of cheese, except melted on pizza
He doesn’t like any kind of vegetables, maybe lettuce but only if he has no choice
About potatoes he will only eat them if they are roasted in the oven or if it’s chips / French fries
He hates stew
He won’t eat pasta, except if it’s spaghetti
He can tolerate rice but not more than once a week and, when he will see it he will make this face and say “ewwww”
He is sick of toast too
Do you have any suggestions for me, i’m sick of fighting over food... and i’m 7 month and half pregnant, so I have something else to worry about than food!!!
Thanks
This abusive nutbag can start cooking his own food.
Honestly, I cannot imagine any reasonable person complaining about the food someone else prepared for them.
By the way, when I was a boy I was like that - wouldn't eat anything but meat and bread, basically. If I were to list off my "won't eat" list for you, you would really be surprised how extensive it was. My mother catered to me a bit, which I now believe was a big mistake.
When I went off to college, I either ate what was on offer at the dining hall, or I went hungry. At that point was when I decided that being picky about my food was just silly and childish. Ever since then I have been working to expand my "willing to eat" list. Traveling to Japan a couple dozen times for work in the early 80s helped, too, because I was forced to try all kinds of different and unusual foods, or look like a culturally-bound ignoramus in front of more senior colleagues that I respected. That was when I developed my principle of "eat it first, then say how good it is, and only THEN ask what it is".
There are still a few common American foods I don't like, but I have explicitly told my wife not to exclude those from the meals she prepares. If I don't like what is on offer, I am either going to choke it down anyway (it won't hurt me), or I'm not going to eat it, but I am not going to ask her to participate in the remnants of my own silliness.
OP, you must stop enabling your husband's behavior. As I said before, cook the food, and he either eats what you have prepared or he goes without. Tell him that is the way it is going to be. Flat. Believe me, wives have been telling husbands how it's going to be for many centuries, and the husbands always manage to deal with it.
While our children were living at home with my wife and I we had one rule for dinner. We always asked our kids to at try the food first before deciding to not eat what was prepared. We never forced our kids to eat dinner. They could always prepare their own dinner but were required to clean any mess they made. If they didn't like want what was prepared the rule was they could leave the table and the next meal would be breakfast, no snacks. My wife and I share cooking duties with me doing most of the cooking these past few years. Best part of cooking is I always make what I like!
So here is the update, this morning, he was in good mood, i guess this chat trotted in his head overnight, and he was nice this morning, he was talking to me again, asked how i slept, and prepared breakfast for himself and for our son. Things are starting to change the right way
Before he left for work, he asked if i could cook him burger for after work, and said pleaaase, he was bit sacarstic, but that's the way he is, to make his point, but i don't care, he has pride, it's hard for him to change his habits, so i'm pleased how this morning went
For lunch my son made an effort too i made pasta with ham and carrot for him, he did ate all the pasta 2 bit of ham, but it was really hard and few bits of carrot! i was surprise he actually ate them! and told him no snacks before 4pm
You guys are probably right, there might be a bigger issue in the background... but i just try to focus on the food part for now, maybe if he change and get better, everything else will get better. He is really not a bad guy, he has a lot of qualities, he is a good father, really involved
OP, your husband is emotionally abusive. He has you focusing on and feeling responsible for every little change in his moods. He wants to be able to blame you if he's mad. If he needs to change for things to be better - why would he? He's got you exactly where he wants you. He wants you to be upset and worried about how he's feeling. The little moments where he's not being a total jerk are bait on a hook to keep you attached to him. They keep you hopeful and thinking he might change, so you stay and accept the bad times.
This has nothing to do with food. And from what you say, there may be other topics where he's exhibits the same behaviour, which would not be surprising. As long as you focus on dancing around trying to make him happy in regards to food, the longer it will take to deal with the real issue.
I have a suggestion, OP, that I hope you will give serious consideration to.
Make an appointment and go talk to a divorce attorney and have him explain to you all of your rights and what you can realistically come away from a marriage with. Learn the steps to prepare yourself for a divorce, just so you know what is involved.
You don't have to act on it, but knowledge is power. You should inform yourself about what all your options are.
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